Monday
Dec272010
First Canned Fruits
December 27, 2010 Ok, here's the thing: we were totally gonna do an all-new, exciting, hilariously intelligent post on Kwanzaa today. However, it turns out there are no new Kwanzaa wrecks to be found, exciting or otherwise.
Well, except maybe this one:
Which isn't all that exciting. And is probably a Hanukkah wreck anyway.So, as a "compromise" (read "lazy"), we've decided to take another look at last year's doozie of a Kwanzaa catastrophe made by the one and only Sandra Lee. Think of it as one of those really uncomfortable yearly traditions. Like when Aunt Janet gets drunk on Goldschläger at "Winterfest" and hits on Father Jenkins. Yeah. Kinda like that.
Now, to refresh your memories, this is the wreck:
As you can see, it really captures the essence of Kwanzaa: family, community, culture, and corn nuts. It's all there.
And in case you want to make your own, here's a handy diagram courtesy of One Horse Shy breaking down the ingredient list for you:
Mmmmm.
Ok, now that we're fully primed and prepped, let's watch Sandra Lee work her magic:
So... culturally sensitive.
Happy Kwanzaa, all.
Reader Comments (115)
Oh Catherine... I appreciate the plight of the busy, working mother but I can't ever support eating that much processed food. This isn't even a foodie issue. It's a health and well being issue. There are plenty of easily made, not disgusting meals out there. I know. I'm busy and only have a small amount of motivation to cook. So, please, for the sake of yourself and your family, check into it and shut off the Sandra!
Oh this is AWESOME!!! LOL...awesome in it's horribleness. I'd never heard of this person before..and she actually has a cooking show. Hilarious!
@Diana..that was a dare issued in the comments on youtube, to actually make the cake and tell everyone how it tastes..;-)
@Claire..she did taste the cake..LOL...check it out on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4dYY1Vu0BM" rel="nofollow"> here
ewwwww
Realise- the cake would have to clear some test audiences before going on air. Scary, huh?
How does she have her own cooking show? That was disgusting.. I should have known better than to watch with such bad morning sickness.
And I thought that the Chanukah cake presentation was bad...!
I don't think that chocolate and apples go together very well, but she wasn't actually using enough cocoa for it to matter much. Real chocolate frosting isn't gray---hers looks sort of like the caulking that we use around the window frames in the winter for insulation.
For those who have posted to support her usual efforts, are you saying that this concoction is not her norm? In which case, how do you explain such a grouping of awful junk ingredients together into one insulting cake? It's good enough for those who celebrate Kwanzaa?
I have laughed at so many awfully made cakes on this site, but this one filled me with disgust. She should be ashamed of herself.
Carrie Penny - I think you're right. Some of her stuff is awesome (and easy).
Her desserts scare me though. I like my angel food cake store bought (I'm not skilled enough to homemake) and with nothing on it.
I don't watch her show at all, but I applaud creativity when it says "Crap, I have to do something in an hour for viewers - what do I have on hand??"
(Or, usually in my kitchen - crap the kids are hungry and I don't have time for the store or money to eat out, what do I have on hand?)
I made a mini-wreck of this when I was expecting to go to a book signing (life intervened, unfortunately).
The frosting actually isn't that bad. And it's more of a light tan than grey. I wouldn't eat the whole concoction, but the left-over frosting was good on graham crackers.
It could be worse. She could be rolling icecream in pure cocoa powder, covering it in whipped cream and... oh, wait... SHE DID THAT TOO!
If you thought Kwanza Cake was disgusting, you MUST watch the Baked Potato Icecream video. You'll never want to eat again.
Does she really not know that you don't bake with the same kind of chocolate mix you make cocoa with? Sooo... when she makes fudge, does she throw in a couple packets of Swiss Miss? Aye.
@Ringleader, she's using cocoa powder (basic-unsweetened chocolate goodness)which is what some people use to make "real" hot chocolate, not ready to use drinking cocoa like Swiss Miss (which is pre-sweetened and includes powdered milk).
The Corn Nuts/"acorns" are horrid and disgusting.
HOWEVER. In defense of the First Girlfriend of New York and her recipe-writing ghostwriter, I know everyone is mocking the size of the Kwanzaa candles, but I dare you all to find smaller Kwanzaa candles. (Kinaras holders aren't easy to come by either.)
When she described the cake as "airy" I think what she really meant to say was "Aryan."
How did she have no idea how horrible those cakes were? Actually, it makes sense when you think about the fact that she has no talent for cake making. She has no business trying to pass those cakes off as professional. Look at the horrible goopey icing! The ridiculous candles! the CORN NUTS?! and that star of david... just.. wow. And her use of canned pie filling.. Just wasn't right. You need a special touch for canned filling to work with a cake. I have an incredibly delicious Peach Cobbler cake that I use pie filling for, and literally everybody loves it. I'm always asked to make it for holidays and I always have to make two because they get eaten so fast... I can't imagine anyone ever wanting ONE of her cakes, let alone two!
This cake is actually fitting, given that I've now done my research on the history of Kwanzaa and its creator, and I have to say that I am quite unimpressed (what a horrid, hateful man, Ron Karenga — a.k.a. Dr. Maulana Karenga is... I am shocked that such a seemingly innocuous holiday has such a man as its founder.) Kwanzaa, I am disappoint. :(