Monday
Nov292010
Golden Arch Enemies
November 29, 2010 Did you hear that San Francisco recently passed a law saying McDonald's can't give out toys in their Happy Meals? Yep. Apparently they don't think we should entice children to eat food that is bad for them by offering little toys as rewards.
And really, they have an excellent point: you *shouldn't* reward kids for eating junk with little toys.
You should reward kids for eating junk with really, really BIG toys!!
BWAH-HA-HAAA!!!Ahem.
No, seriously, let's consider the slippery slope here, shall we? First you start with an innocent pair of sunglasses:
Or, as the label calls them, a "tiara."Next you up the ante with two or three action figures...
...or nine or ten.
Then you start adding custom carrying cases for the action figures...
And big dollhouses for them to live in...
Until finally, the toy is so large, so complex, that it's impossible to tell where the Happy Meal ends and the toy begins!
And we can't have that, now, can we?
(Yes, there's cake in there. Really.)
Lauren W., Tracy C., Jennifer D., Nicole B., Brianna R., Veronica L., & Rachel A., I'm holding out for the Star Trek: The Original Series phaser and tricorder cupcake pack. That's gonna be AWESOME.
Reader Comments (82)
$34.99 for that last masterpiece? What a steal! And just think what fun the kid will have trying to find the cake inside!
@Katie Yeah, it should be up to parents to decide what their kids eat. IF they were capable of making the right decision. The rate of childhood obesity in this country is shocking and saddening.
@Janet The mayor may have vetoes it but the city council has more than enough votes to override his veto. So, it's happening.
@Isolder74 I agree completely! But, in order for people to get back into their kitchens they have to have the motivation. And for that to happen fast food has to be less appealing.
and here my only problem with the last cake is wondering how the mermaid got up in the tower.
That last one is just gobsmacking. Now I'm not one to pour shame on those who are baking-challenged. I've been blessed with baking ability so I bake, some haven't so they don't. That's cool. But when you've got more plastic than cake, there's something seriously wrong.
Also, I totally agree with you, Isolder74. The toy isn't the problem, it's the fake food that has somehow become the norm. My family and I went "additive free" almost 4 years ago now (yes, that's no artificial ANYTHING) and I wouldn't go back, not for love nor money. Get back to REAL food and suddenly you'll see how much better you feel. Oh and a friend of mine (who lives in the USA) went "no high fructose corn syrup" and lost 22 lbs in just 3 weeks.
But it's the TOYS they ban. Good call. Not.
Elizabeth
Sydney, Australia
You know.... I NEVER thought I would wear a tiara! and might I add YUCK! Who wants a cake that sheds? Also... are my eyes fooling me or do i see a McDonalds golden arch on the first one?:O Dun Dun Dunnn!
$16.00 for that god-awful cake with the sunglasses??!! Why? Who?
Perhaps that last cake is in the mote of the castle? Even the most valiant warriors would be distracted deep pools of moist, chocolaty goodness.
Is the kittycat one really a wreck? I like it! Assuming kitty is sitting on some wax paper or something.
Maybe my most favorite post ever! What a great moral issue to tackle! :)
Well I do understand how some people get into thinking that fast food and frozen dinners are their only options. I live in a basement apartment where I usually don't have good access to the upstairs kitchen most of the time.
That being said I do have ready access to the kitchen in my brother's house. What I have done is take Plastic Food Trays that I've either saved from frozen dinners or gotten from a restaurant supply store, and made my own frozen dinners. Not to long ago, I made my own chicken fried steak dinners using a round roast, potatoes and frozen carrots and managed to make 14 ready to reheat meals at about $10 in total costs of ingredients.
What makes them even better is in these meals I control how much salt or anything else ends up in my food. I still get the convenience, at the cost of a busy weekend, and better food quality to boot.
Not too bad if I say so myself.
Ahem - I think we must take a moment to mock the sunshine/tiara CCC label, which also says PULLAPART.
Seriously wreckerators? Pullapart cupcakes, aka you were too lazy to ice each once separately and instead bunched them all together and whipped out a spatula!?
I'm a cake decorator as a local Bakery and I can attest that that last one DOES in fact contain cake. I've done several of those cakes before.
I work at a bakery, and we used to sell that last castle cake. The manufacturer actually discontinued it in the past few weeks, and we don't have a real replacement for it. (It's less plastic than you imagine, especially if you have a good designer who adds his/her own flowers or shrubs, as ours did). I'm less surprised by this kit's (former) existance than by the parent(s)' willingness to pay $95 and up on a cake for it.
All those cakes really are scary. Especially the Barney/Teletubby combo. Yikes! I think whoever got that cake got mostly toys and not much else.. sad lol.
per kimberly chapman: "Some day I'm going to use the one that came with my Wilton pan to make a car accident cake with anatomically correct gumpaste entrails. Muahahahahaha."
please, please, please share pictures of that if you do!! Mattel might sue but I say there's a market for Zombie Barbie!!
- Barbara Anne
wv: ANDENIT "the castle cake was purdy andenit was a little bit of cake."
"I'm holding out for the Star Trek: The Original Series phaser and tricorder cupcake pack. That's gonna be AWESOME."
Same here! Let's make a pact, the first one to spot them has to tell the other what store to run into and get them herself. Work for you?
Not sure I get the logic here
The fact that you're able to put the price tag not on the cake box but on the "cake" itself is proof that maybe you have a flotsam problem.
No, I see the frosting trees. Yes, and the door is most definitely frosting. But for all I know it could be stucco.
For instance, I shouldn't have to have instruction on how to disassemble the cake before I'm allowed to eat it. In the words of a famous robot "No disassemble! NO!"
Note on last cake: To successfully ingest cake please read instructions carefully.
(please see diagram)
To eat cake:
Step 1: Remove parts a1, a2, a3, a4, and a5. Please keep parts away from children under 5.
Step 2: Remove part b. Set to the side.
Step 3: Carefully remove parts c3 and c4 before attempting to remove parts c1 and c2. If you notice structural stability of cake is questionable leave parts c1 and c2 attached and eat around.
Step 4: Please remember to remove part d. note: some purple frosting (occasionally all purple frosting) will peal or fall as a result of removing part d. This is normal. I you wish to keep frosting on during consumption please leave part d on though only if there are no children under 5 present.
Disclaimer: Cake only contains frosting on those parts visible. Price tag is impossible to remove. We suggest a purple sharpie. All purchases non-refundable. Sorry.
Way to go, @Isolder74!
The backstory on the castle cake confirms what I was getting at earlier -- there is nothing to do with the plastic bits afterward except decorate another cake. I hope the cake in the picture wasn't frosted with Crisco. Who wouldn't want their child to be a literal lard-[donkey], eh?
Cinderella should be riding a dinosaur, though -- they missed that important detail.
At the grocery store where I work, we got a new head of bakery in corporate who insisted that we had TOO MUCH INVENTORY. We needed to offload some NOW! (She's not entirely the brightest bulb in the box, seeing as you do need some inventory to be able to decorate ...but I digress.) So we said, "Fine", through plastered on smiles and proceeded to pump our cakes with so much plastic we were fairly throwing it on by the handfuls. The cakes and cupcakes looked ridiculous on purpose as a sort of "take that" to our manager, and we did get the inventory down to a "manageable" level and she we happy, so, I guess, mission accomplished? Saddest part is that she whole-heartedly approved of our plastic monstrosities. She called them "fun".
I really like the cat one, and how the frosting balls of yarn turn into the border...
Why did you change from the cute picture of the Mohawk Babies riding carrots to the photo of the plastic Mohawk baby dolls? The picture was cute, but the photo is a disappointment! I recently told some friends about your website and the header picture at cakewrecks.com. They are parents of a baby boy who is the spitting image of the cute picture babies, so I thought they would enjoy it. However, is was a shock to see the not-so-cute plastic knockoff instead. Can you change your header back to the cute picture babies? Thanks -- and especially for the hours of hilarity that our family has enjoyed on your website. Our preteen drags me, her dad, and any other willing family members to the computer at regular intervals to enjoy the show. --Annette Olsen, Houston, TX
Annette,
The header on Cake Wrecks has been the same for over two years now. We do use a cartoon drawing of the baby for Twitter and Facebook but the plastic babies on icing carrots are the originals. I'm sorry you're not a big fan.
john
I actually kind of like the cat and yarn cake, though I'm fairly sure I don't want to eat either the yarn balls (if they're solid icing), or any fluff that might come off the cat.
Here's the sad thing: My daughter had the big princess cake one year and the strawberry shortcake one the next. It's not my fault, her gramdma spoils her atrociously. Now I get to show grandma how TWO cakes that she has bought the child ended up on the same Cake Wrecks post... maybe it'll get through to her...
Are those... generic teletubbies?
I found the cake in the castle! I did it! The turrets and gate and princesses are toys, but the walls and plants are cake!
Now, do I get a prize? (snicker)
wv: ouncifin(prounounced ounce-eh-fun) - I always have more than an ouncifin whenever I visit this site.
Disney Princesses must be stopped.
Really there is a cake, only the towers, dolls, picture frame, and door are plastic, my oldest insisted on one for her third birthday. We still have all of the princesses.
Maybe I'm wrong, but are you sure the Teletubbies, Disney, Thomas, etc cake is plastic? It almost looks like fondant or marzipan or some other shaped something-or-other. Mostly because they all look like cheap knock-offs, but in the same style. It's still too much going on for one cake, but at least that would be more impressive than slapping a bunch of toys on the top.
Omg. My friend had that princess cake for her Bridal Shower!! But it was tilting/ falling apart in the back!!
I absolutely hate that Princess Castle cake. I am pretty sure that I can now decorate it with me eyes shut at this point. But it gets worse.There is a Spongebob Luau cake, a Nascar cake, Spiderman...and many many more. Not at all cool at all and impossible to make them look even halfway decent when you have to make twenty five billion cakes in an eight hour shift.