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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep032009

Blame Decopac

These days many bakeries dream of the day when cake decorating will consist of two steps:

1) Ice the cake, and
2) sell it.

See, actually decorating a cake requires time and effort, and therefore is discouraged where possible. To help bakers achieve this lofty goal, a few enterprising companies (we're not naming any names here....except for that one in the title, of course) are manufacturing all-inclusive instant "decorating" kits.

Here's an example:


Cute, huh? As you can see, plastic is SO in right now. Not only does it save on frosting, but it also allows anyone with the skills of a semi-trained monkey to "decorate" a cake. It's foolproof! All you need is a rounded lump frosted brown, and you're good to go - just stick the plastic bits in! Who could possibly mess that up?

[sigh]

Alright, Wreckerators, now you've actually got me curious: Can you possibly make this look any worse?

Wow. I'm impressed. This looks just like the carpet adhesive we put down last Spring.

Now how about something for the cat lovers haters out there?

From this...


To this!

Taylor G., Tracy F., & Alex M., apparently there really is more than one way to skin a cat.

- Related Wreckage: Going to the Dogs

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Reader Comments (180)

that second cat totally looks like OUR cat on a hot summer day.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

That cat is sure sporting some freakishly long arms!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

That cat is AWESOME did someone run him over???

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There are few things worse than all the ways wreckerators are able to totally screw up the pictures in the book. I don't even know why bakeries offer the example books. Excited parents, lovers and friends pick out cakes from those books, expecting an adorable confection. And it always comes back looking globby, awkward and poopie.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDootsie

that looks like roadkill

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That last one is definitely a cake for someone who doesn't like cats. Whoa.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaryJ

I don't think anyone's mentioned this yet, but those CCC's kinda look like roadkill. Or rugs.

I'm so funny.

*headdesk*

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercryandwriteasong

Specialty cakes from Heinlein Bakeries. The Martian Flat Cats. And now Martian Flat Dogs.

Drop the masks and you've got Tribbles.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Poor kitty looks like roadkill.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimboSue

Second ccc doggy looks like he's skidding across the kitchen floor to rid himself of some butt visitors.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

They both look like they've been flattened by a zamboni.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

The CCCs look like roadkill. Eeeewww!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

Road Kill anyone? All you need is some of the goo from inside those fetus cupcakes...

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommentermGk

When I was in school we did actually have to skin a cat in anatomy class (don't ask why, I don't remember it's been a loooooong time). The last one is exactly like I remember it looking. Except for the huge smile.

WV: summe - heard over and over in bakeries everywhere. "you don't like your cake. so summe."

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah, it looks like those CCCs need this!

http://blog.rednecklaughs.com/2008/07/22/roadkill-helper/

(not related to this, but to the link, at one of those gag gift white elephant Christmas parties a gal that was a vegetarian got that as the gift!)

I think bakers don't realize how easy it is to make a round cake by now . . . you know, just use a METAL MIXING BOWL as the cake pan. I guess they think they don't exist . . .

Bridget from Associated Content
http://www.associatedcontent.com/bridgetidelaney

And the interview, which Jen DOES have linked as well: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1859755/interview_with_jen_yates_blogger_behind.html

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

That last dog CCC pic looks like a puppy is being born. (tail up, legs down, puppy coming out! LOL

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yuck!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer B

Jen, have you ever seen a cute CCC? I don't recall if you have ever posted a sunday sweets with only CCC's, is it possible or am I asking for too much?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

wow! i wonder what would a cake look like that said, "i hate dogs" or "i hate cats"?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

SPLAT! Why is he still smiling?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

Nothing says Party like a Road Kill cake!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaBaker

These cakes look like my cat when she sleeps on the pavement in Texas in August. Splat cat!

I am counting the hours until I can go buy the soon-to-be bestseller "Cake Wrecks."

wv: diserpr. What happens when a cat gets run over. It diser-purrs

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

umm. eew.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertonyia

Wow! Gross. Dead cat under my tire anyone?

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

Double N said...

Is it just me, or do those look like they are either road-kill or some twisted pet-skin rug?

________________________________

Pet-skin rug is EXACTLY what came to my mind! Dear LORD!!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I have recently discovered your blog, and I have fallen in love with it. I find myself laughing at the cakes gone horribly wrong. I now find myself totally against the CCC.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLayla

Anyone reminded of the Lee Evan's sketch about the policeman telling the civilian about their dog being run over? Ha ha ha! Love these!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Yeah...well, you asked for it.

Anyway...
What I want to know is how does that other place have the audacity to charge $19 for the same crap that goes for $13 at WalMart?
Oh, wait--I see that the first one has employed the use of more cupcakes than the second one does (wider hips and front legs on the dog---not to mention the fancy INSCRIPTION)...SO worth the extra 6 bucks.
The best thing to do with something like this?
OUT in the middle of the road with it! NOW! Just flop it down there and WALK AWAY. Do not look back.
Let someone else deal with calling the road crew/game warden/animal control.
See? I didn't *say* it...
=^><^=

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Love the cat CCC!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I call him... Splatty!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUglyGerbil

I LOVE the cat one! I'm cat lover, but that is still hilarious!!! He looks SO run over!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRyan, Corrie, and Max

Those cupcake cakes remind me of animal rugs. I think someone should mail one to PETA.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Splat Cat!!!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Should I feel bad for actually thinking this is adorable?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate Fu

I hope those animals recover from their elephantitis soon.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael Earl

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!! AAAHHHHHAAAAA!!!! I haven't laughed out loud in a long time. I was like, Oh no, they did NOT put that plastic stuff on a CCC. Oh my!!!! Hahahahaa! Thanks! This one is so great!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna M

yeah i definitely read "Blame Ipecac". different but also relevant.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhessica

Yikes! Unbelievable.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSerious Replies Only

where I live, these plastic "decorations" are placed on tiny cakes (around the size of those first-birthday cakes) that are smaller than the plastic part, leaving the plastic part to hang over the edges.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbibberly

OMG! SQUISHED DOGGIES AND KITTIES!! LMAO!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I was thinking the same thing about adhesive - gosh, that looks exactly like when we did our floor last year... oh, you're supposed to eat it... ummm, welllll...

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Actually, that first one isn't too bad from an identification point of view. It looks remarkable similar to the dog vomit slime mold, Fuligo septica....

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA mycologist who likes cake

I wouldn't want those CCC's. They look like pet roadkill. Unless I want to give my kid a visual, no words needed description of why Fido isn't coming home, I'll pass.

The bundt cakes are too cute for words, though. :)

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Imagine my horror when I opened up my new, most favorite blog, Cake Wrecks, to see THE VERY CAT CAKE THAT MY 7-SOON-TO-BE-8-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER HAS PICKED OUT (OFF GOOGLE)FOR ME TO MAKE FOR HER PARTY NEXT WEEK!!!! I've been agonizing for days about how to "un-wreck" it into something I won't be ashamed to say I made! And she will not be swayed in her choice. And now YOU'RE TAUNTING ME!!! waaaaa.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermarthak

Um, yea my niece had one of those cat ccc for her birthday!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarah

I misread "decopac" as "epicac". Could work either way, really.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

RecoveringActor...

That has to be the best comment on here. :)

And it totally has to be a Tshirt on here now. Or a spoofed Wreck.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Good heavens... that last one looks like happy roadkill.

Oh. I see I'm not the only one who saw that!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSayre

don't all club me at once but there is something sort of adorable about the little lumps of badly frosted cake with the plastic on them ... in a sort of demented adorable sense. I actually laughed out loud and scared the cats when I saw those CCC abominations ... and I know a sh*t ton of rich house wives who LOVE that sort of thing. As a decorator - it makes me want to die. lol.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

A true testament that CCCs should be. banned. forever.

wv: crous - these CCCs look like something only crous would appreciate.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkadyb

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