Patriot Day
September 11, 2009 Today you're going to see a lot of beautiful and touching 9/11 tributes. That's good. If you're like me, you're going to get a little teary-eyed, and maybe it will be a bit harder to remember all the little things you usually laugh about. Maybe that's why you're here. And you know what? That's good, too. We should celebrate our heroes. We should remember our loved ones. But we should also - and with great pride, I might add - eat patriotic donut holes.
Wait.
What?
Oh. Well, as long as it's printed on the label, then I guess it's Ok. Remember, if you don't eat your Patriotic Donut Holes, the terrorists win!
Although now that I'm looking at these things, I do see a problem: There are only red and white donut holes. No blue! Don't think I don't see what's going on here, either. That's right, Canada: I'm watching you.
Those are rather generic for Patriot Day, though, don't you think? Can we get something a little more...I dunno, holiday-specific?
Right, maybe we should head back into the generic territory:
Uncle Sam wants YOU...Hm. Look, there has to be a middle ground between donut holes and icing depictions of the towers, right? How about just a nice, uplifting, appropriately-worded sentiment?
"Never Foget"?- Related Wreckage: A Cake Wrecks Salute
Reader Comments (151)
Jen...
We come to you for a laugh and sometimes we need it more than others. Today is one of those days and I'm glad you decided to go forward with the post.
As for 'cake' 2, I am choosing to believe that those are supposed to be firecrackers (but still wrecky ones) because who would do that, really.
Bloody donut holes! Wow - I don't care if they were originally for the 4th - they just look WRONG!
Did you notice the patriotic doughnut holes expired on 7/3/09? I think this picture is a holdout from Independence Day!
The Twin Towers on a CCC is horrible. And I checked out the debate from last time, and I feel the same way about that one. I'm sure the creator had good intentions. But seeing the twin towers just reminds us of the horror. Even when I see them in pictures or movies, it really bothers me. Just to know they're NOT THERE anymore, and that so many people died.
As a proud Canadian and military wife, I know that we work with the US (among others) to promote democracy and protect freedom across the world, so it generally doesn't bother me that you guys outshine us at every turn in the area of extreme, rabid patriotism. But I have to admit that when I saw those Canadian Patriotic Donut Holes, I felt a little surge of national pride. For once, WE are the frenzied, hysterical flag-wavers! Though by the looks of those things, it might have something to do with the red dye...
The CCC looks more like a couple of walkie talkies... I'll just keep telling myself that's what they are. :-/
Unfogettable post Jen! (I hear Nat King Cole singing the post today). Those are teeny tiny RUBBER dumbbells--uncle Sam knows we're a nation of couch potatoes. And if you look really closely at the donut holes--looks like there's maybe a blue one in one corner. Or maybe it's, um, moldy. Ew. OK I thought bloody red donut holes were bad, but blue powdered sugar not such a good idea after all. Canada wins!
BTW,my WV is dissbal--so that's how they got those holes.
I think we have completely misunderstood the second picture.
You see, this is more of an alternate scenario, of what could have been had 9/11 never happened.
One day the towers would take off on their own sea-journey. But it would not be an uneventful journey! The cake is commemorating the day where multi-colored spiders came down from the sky, in search of a building to parasitize (along with the Cloud of Doom in the upper right corner). But the towers were prepared - they each had assembled 2 huge skewers to play some sort of skewer-pachinko with the spiders, and subsequently made spider-kabobs at an All-American barbecue. The end.
My first thought.... someone "foget" to add the blue balls?
Is that Zac Efron behind the donut holes???
Oh. My. God.
No.
Just no.
I believe in cakes. I believe in cakes for most occasions. I believe in making occasions just as an excuse to eat cake.
But this is ridiculous.
Wreck-freaking-tastic!
bless america's heart. there are no lengths to which we will not go to prove our jingoism (or to make a profit).
on a lighter note, i agree with others who thought giant spiders were attacking the towers. whaa??
the "never foget" cookie cake is too funny and soooo american. no child (bakery worker) left behind ...
Is it just me or is there a giant koala in a diaper floating above the tower on the right on the Patriot Day Cupcake Cake?
DAMMIT! Don't FOGET! It's very important to not foget these things.
Lol. Poor uncle sam :P
"I'm watching you, Canada." As we all should.
Just a note to say I love your new design, and the spiffy facebook button!
I have no words for the two towers on a cupcake cake.
I have actually seen a box of the donut holes at everyone's "favorite" mass retailer with the blue ones included. Awful, awful, awful! It looked like Smurfs had been castrated! :)
Note to self: do not drink tea while reading CW. The "teensy little dumbbells" comment made stuff come out my nose. So funny.
Okay, okay, I'm sorry about this folks, but at first glance the bloody donuts are well, just blood soaked red and pale white. However, if you look in the lower right hand (our right hand) one can see behind the two white ones that there is, in fact, a blue one! It's hiding, cuz it's alone in the BLOODY DONUT MASSACRE!!!
I haven't read through every comment so sorry if someone already said this, but WHO are these people going out and buying 9/11 cakes? Seriously...
As a daily cake wreck addict, I love checking your site each day. I've got to say, I cringed a little bit when I first saw what today's theme was. But after reading through today's post, and smiling a bit, I've got to compliment you on a well-done post on an emotional and tough subject. I love how you find humor in everything! You're appreciated.
Waving from Canada!!
CW2 looks like spiders dancing atop (around? in the air?) the now-defunct towers.
why can't this sad day just be remembered with a moment of silence? it seems pretty morbid to commemorate today with cake, or donut holes, for that matter.
Why are those square cockroaches being attacked by colorful spiders?
1) Cashing in on a tragedy: cynical.
2)Cashing in on a tragedy with confectionery: tacky.
3) Doing it this ineptly? That's just insulting
I don't know how I'd feel about a well excecuted twin towers cake. i i have a feeling that anyone with the requisite attention to detail topull it off would know not to start....
I also feel a bit uncomfortable with the 'that's how the cookie crumbles' connotations...
Wow. Fireworks near the twin towers. Do these people not *think* before they decorate/wrecktate? I think not!
Teeny barbells. hahaha
~Amy B
"That's right, Canada: I'm watching you."
He he he!
Yep, taking over the world, one Timbit at a time.
Love,
Canada
wow, so tragic, so awful, so ballishious and non delectable
Oh Dear not really very nice is it?
Interesting mementos.I was told a pal was asked by an American friend to get him a junk of berlin wall (it was being demolished at the time) on his next visit to Berlin. The pal went to Berlin but forgot about it.When he got back to Blighty,there was a message reminding him about it,as he wasnt going back to Berlin before his visit to USA he didnt know what to do, then he saw the local council were demolishing an old public toilet block near his carparking so he grabbed a lump os suitably manky old concrete and gave it to his friend.
on a later visit he was amused to see his rather right wing friend had had the lump of old masonary mounted on a polished wooden plinth with a brass plaque proudly saying Piece of the Berlin Wall !
He just couldnt say actually its from the loo in Basildon.
Those donut holes are TOO Funny, but what made me roll over laughing was your canada comment! HAHAHAHAH
*sings* BLAME CANADA!
the donut holes....gross! all I see is...nevermind. just tasteless
I think the comment about the Twin Towers CCC looking a bit like the Sears Tower is spot on, since I can almost see the Sears from the grocery where the offending "cake" was found.
And no, I didn't order it. Just a lucky (?) find.
Thanks for a great post, in much better taste than these wrecks.
it's not funny today. i normally love your site, too. =(
it's okay if you want to delete this because it seems mean-spirited or if you think i'm being a stodge. i just couldn't not tell you.
As you remember 9/11
With solemn heart and soul
Keep your eye on the patriotic donut
Not on the patriotic donut hole
Life imitates art-- The Onion nailed the post-9/11/01 jumble of emotions and misplaced reactions with this parody piece:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28148
I vote for a new CW bumper sticker from Terry Lee:
[Cake Wrecks URL/Logo]
No child (bakery worker) left behind!
AWESOME!
Today is "Patriot Day" while April 19 is "Patriots' Day". They are two completely different holidays and two separate excuses for bloody doughnut balls.
Those dumbells......are they menat to be cheerleader pom poms?
Maybe?
The clouds, the towers, the fireworks (or red and yellow spiders)...I am all for celebrating with cake, I just think that some events should remain forever cakeless. Oh, well, I guess we should all be glad they left the planes out of it.
Um...do the "Patriotic Donut Holes" look like eyeballs to anyone else? Maybe they could save them for Halloween.
Hey Lizzie Fish,
I have to be honest as well. I moderate hundreds of comments a day and, it never fails, there are always a few saying how unfunny Jen is today and it always bums me out. You see, Jen and I pay attention to everything you guys say and it truly bothers us when you guys feel the need to say something harsh. It makes me wonder if these same people feel the uncontrollable need to tell their friends that the meatloaf is terrible when they are invited to dinner or if it's just the anonymity of the internet that brings out such brutal honesty.
*sigh*
I don't know...
john
Why do I suddenly have Weird Al's song "Canadian Idiot" stuck in my head?
Word verification: werso.
As in, I couldn't believe these wrecks werso tacky.
1) "Blame Canada...blame Canada..it seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along..."
:) Kidding, of course.
2) My mouth literally dropped open. It shouldn't have, because I've been coming here for months now, and you think I'd be immune to the shock, but nope. Wowie. Bad, bad taste.
3) I really like the dumbbell one. It's just so ambiguous--cracked me up. "Hmmm...I don't know what to put on this cake. Red and blue, obviously, but what patriotic symbols are there? Fireworks? Nope, too hard. Um. I guess I'll make some blobs. And some lines. There. Thank goodness we have these plastic flags or I don't know WHAT I'd do!"
I will fully admit that this is wrong and tacky, but I laughed out loud at the Jenga comment.
It's been such a depressing day on the news, b/c all the channels are non-stop remembrance ceremonies and commentary by survivors (and it's also gloomy out) that I'm glad for any attempt at levity.
Especially when it's levelled at these cakes.
These are just....Hm. I mean...Hm.
(WV= poris. Hm. As in "I think 9/11 is a poris-cuse for a cake"? Or "poris is an accurate description of these cakes"?)
The donut holes look more like bloody cotton balls
Those "Patriotic Donut Holes" look like slightly used grapeshot. Probably very popular with Civil War reenactors.
very funny like the idea of a building jenga-Taylor (My older Brother) "build it tall and leaning then just watch it fall"
anyway please check out and comment on a blog called fishing in the sky.