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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun232009

Celebrating the "Yes" with a bunch of "No"s

There are usually a lot of weddings in June, so I know you're getting sick of all those perfectly lovely wedding and engagement cakes by now, aren't you? [patting your hand] Well don't you worry, dear; that's what I'm here for.

First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.

"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."

Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:


While others like adopting fun new aliases...


Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:

"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"
(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)

Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:

Aaaeeeeiii!!

"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."

Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.

(I've always wanted to do that.)

- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!

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Reader Comments (134)

Egads, I was sailing through these engagement cakes when that severed hand cake caught me totally off guard (at least they didn't embellish it with a red cuff or anything...)

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

yeah, that last CW looked like a threat.

And the green "congradulation" cake? graduating, marrying, or celebrating st. patty's day?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Jenzy and Al's cake was kind of pretty 'til the let someone write on it.

WV: pless. Pless pay attention in English class!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

HOLY CRAP! THAT LOOKS LIKE MY HAND!

Except my diamond isn't that big.

Still ... *shudder*

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

What is up with severed body parts on cakes or made to be cakes? I know most of them are executed quite well, but it's still creepy. And this is coming from someone who loves horror movies.

If it wasn't for those quotes, the strawberry cake would be perfect. I'm sure it was still yummy.

The all green cake is gross. It looks like a huge chunk of mold.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

OK ladies in the group, what if a man was to propose with that ring CCC-wreck, only to fish out a box from the "gem" with a real beauty? Would anyone be prepared to take a practical joke during a proposal? (I think I'll be beaten to a bloody pulp before I could even try to get the real ring.)

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSho

Lynn said...
"The hand cake reminds me of a fish wrapped in newspaper being sent in "The Godfather" to announce a violent demise of someone..."
*******
That's the first thing I thought of, too!
"It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

Scary~~~~someone could be sleeping in the...BAKERY...tonight~~~
=^()()^=
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As for the "ransom note" thing:
Look on the "bright" side; the groom-to-be has time to think it over--(after all, she's only going to lose the other hand)--and he's already got the ring back, which he could always sell if need be.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I don't know. When it comes to proposals and weddings, many people seem to be all about repulsive displays of spending, contrived protocol, and unrealistic expectations. Honestly if it was Mr. Right (no, not the idiotic fantasy-romance novel Mr. Right - but a real man with real character), I'd accept a proposal spelled out in cheetos and a wedding in the backyard. It's not about impressing people for me. It's about landing the man of one's dreams. The celebration and "pretties" are always fun, but I wouldn't turn down a chance at happiness if I didn't get that.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBatbrat

Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs! I've really needed it, especially after the past 2 weeks that I've had!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LMAO! That was the funniest thing i have heard all day! (and i have the biggest drama queen EVER as a 4 year old daughter...my day is hilairious!)
Holy Moly that hand...i'm still giggling!
That gree thing is hidious, makes me really wonder what the instructions on that one were...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCole

Cake number three: "Congratulations OR your engagement"? Do they have to make a choice between the two?

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKirsty

The last one is very scary. Very very scary.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharisse

Does anyone remember the movie called The Thing?...anyway the severed hand is gastly along with the rest of the cakes. Har Har Har

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersleeplessnights04

My 4-yr-old saw this and screamed "AAaaaaaaaaa! What's that?!"

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel and Emily

The hand cake has to be the worst (best?) passive-aggressive wedding proposal i've ever seen.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am pretty sure I would have said no if my Fiance asked me with a cake, especially the ones above. But I have to say, the hand is amazing. So hilarious.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

That last one made me die laughing. It reminds me of a cleaned up hand from Reanimator.
And the text doesn't seem in the slightest bit like a celebration!

"Your Time Has Come" almost like saying "Marriage is like the mafia... You never know which limb you'll lose..."

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

does jenny and al's cake have two sets of quote marks together after the congradulations? like the wreckerator knew it was wrong to put them around the word, but had to put them somewhere

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbryn

did anyone else notice that the fingers on that hand look like they're on back wards? the hand looks palm up, but you see the front of the fingers. so wrong on so many levels.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Sending the clowns,

Nice to know there's a kindred spirit out there who thinks the way I do and reads every single comment...we just can't help it...they are as funny as Jen's Wreck posts !

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

All I can think of upon seeing the disembodied hand is "SHE HAS MAN HANDS!"

WV: sycli. The man hand on that cake was sycli mesmerizing.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRamblingDreamer

Make it so!

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterN2Loping

"Gradulation" immediately followed by that terrifying pallid severed claw made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself!

We're getting engaged soon and now I really want to request an On Purpose Wreck to celebrate.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

Lynn said...

"Sending the clowns,
Nice to know there's a kindred spirit out there who thinks the way I do and reads every single comment...we just can't help it..."
********************
Yeah--that's it! We can't help it!
Now, if only MORE people were like us, we might have all avoided that train wreck of a thing concerning a certain tourist trap in, oh, say...Florida? (Starts with an "E," but don't make me say it!) heh heh
>^~-^<

This blog is highly addictive, and should come with a warning!
(I wouldn't pay any mind to the warning myself, but I'm just saying...!)

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Loved the Star Trek reference, Captain! :)

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

amazing.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani Grigg

I laugh whenever I think about that hand cake, In my opinion it would be best for an invitation to see a horror movie.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen, I love your blog. I do. But since you spend so much time making fun of spelling errors... "fiance" should be changed to "fiancee," since it refers to the bride-to-be.

Pretentious accent mark optional.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The severed hand has extremely pudgy fingers!

September 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey lol I LOVE this site lol.. anyways.. I worked at Weis markets and we get books with cupcake designs in it that we are required to make.. in the decorators defense.. that ring cupcake cake is in the book of stuff we are supposed to make for the shelves lol... and the hand is creepy lol. Well made but disturbing!

-Shay Neary (Senior at Keystone College in Pastry Arts. PA.

March 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShay Neary

That is a MAN HAND! ROFL! :D

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These seem to be more in the line of disengagement cakes -- especially the last -- but anyway...

#2 & 4: I suppose a prom would be a 'way cool' venue for a proposal -- by the time graduation rolls around, the groom-to-be will have finally have acquired the courage to tell his mother, thus the combined theme.

Alternate explanation: Women who appear to be in college for no obvious reason other than meeting men are sometimes spoken of as seeking an 'MRS' degree.

#5 He asked for 'her' hand; he got it, reversed fingers and all. Reminds me of the famous question: "What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?"

How can 'she' pick up anything? Must...purge...mental...image...

Or maybe 'she' is already engaged and the cake was sent by 'her' orthopedic surgeon. Though one would think it should show what 'her' hand will hopefully look like after the operation.

July 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I love your blog. I was laughing out loud specially with the hand cake... Maybe from the Sopranos? My 3 years old thought I was "funny" Thanks!
Adriana

August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Severed hand...very creepy. Its just not right x

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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