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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr082009

Chick Chicky Boom

I don't know about you guys, but I just love scoping out all the chicks in bakeries these days.

At least, I think that's what this is. That, or a couple of apostrophes on a teeter totter.

Here's a perfectly smashing example:


Or maybe just "smashed." Heh. As you can see, the blue highlights give it "character."

Then there's the Cheater's Special:

Even using 80% plastic decor, the Wreckerator still managed to make Chickadee look like she's sitting on a gloomy gift-wrapped raincloud. Aw, Eeyore would be proud.

Say what you will about this next one; I think it's hilarious:


You do have to wonder if those chicken feet are made of solid icing, though. [head tilt] I mean, how do you get that much icing to stand up like that? And more importantly, do you think people who eat real chicken feet would find this gross? (Amy, m'dear? Care to weigh in?)

This last one is yellow and orange and was displayed next to some sketchy looking "bunnies", so you know what that means...

It's Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw, the mutant chicken head sent from the future to enslave us all!!

Fortunately, despite the fact that her bio-dome keeps her almost perfectly preserved, Dr. Bokaw's minions are nothing to crow about. Some of them can't read her chicken scratch, others felt so hen-pecked that they flew the coop, and the rest are all..well...[leaning in to whisper in your ear] chickens.

Gail D., Mandy P., Anne B., Erika N., & Lysa, egg-cellent work.

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Reader Comments (137)

Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw...Bwahhahahaha! Too funny!! The egg with the protruding feet is rather amusing, too, but bok bok bokaw takes the, uhumm, cake! (I'm so punny!) The rest of 'em just suck.

Happy Keaster!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

The last one reminds me of the shape-shifter protector she-woman in an early 2nd season ep of Star Trek Next Gen. SCARY!! :)

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJRSikorski

Ooooh...bad cakes. LOL I've never seen chickens like those!

~Amy B

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

lol i really like the creepy head thing at the end :P lol bok bok bokaw! oh no!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

My eyes, my eyes! Someone really wants to be on cake wrecks quite badly, don't they?

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

I think the first one looks like the Jekyll and Hyde Tweety bird from the cartoon! Poor Sylvester. And why is the CCC cake chick wearing a flight helmet?

Love your blog, it's laugh out loud funny.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Heh. The second one reminds me of Guy Fee-yet-ee.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosie Hawthorne

FLMAO!!! omg these are great!!

HAHAHA how are they selling these things in stores??

omg.. they NEVER HAVE STUFF Like this in any of the stores near me! lmao i don't think anyone in Toronto would DREAM of putting something like that on their shelives!
: //

but i'm STILL SEARCHING!!
:)))))

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.

Is it just me, or were the bunny cakes from the Easterly Wind post more recognizable as the source animal than these chickies?

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAAAAGH i'm going to have nightmares about that last one.
that is horrifying. i'm pretty sure i could do better, and i've never decorated a cake in my life!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersour

I think the character cake is meant to be the title character from the little kids show Peep and the Big Wide World. A horribly mangled and inexplicably toothpaste-topped version anyway.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt C.

Those chicken feet are most definitely made out of orange Circus Peanuts.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGA

hehe so adorable.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterveggievixen

Col. Sanders wants to cook his goose // But Psycho Chicken's still on the loose // They caught him down in Ohio // Cut off his head and put in the oven // Put him in a box right next to a roll // Someone took him home ?? // Ate him for lunch and he tasted real fine // But the guy who ate him just lost his mind!

Psycho Chicken! Better run, run, run, run away!

(Ahh, the classics ...)

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

The chicken feet look like they're molded out of marshmallow.....that or Crayola Model Magic....

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

I think the egg one was supossed to be Sheldon from Garfield. I think it's cute :)

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYvette

chicken for supper...

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

the last one reminds me of the horrible troma flick, 'poultrygeist'. [shiiiiiiver]

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You are so freaking hilarious!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Never underestimate the power of the CHICKEN PEOPLE! They're out there and they're organizing and if you thought that sissyazz rabbit thing on MP was bad just you waaaaiiit till you see what the chicken will do to you!

These poorly executed bits of sugary fluff are only put out to distract you from Dr. Bok Bok's true purpose. OK OK so the big feet were a bit of a fluff-up, but we're (oops - THEY'RE) working on it.

Elfie

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I agree with Anonymous 11:38 AM - that first one looks like the monsterized Tweety Bird!

And could those cheerfully orange feet be made from - ulp - CIRCUS PEANUTS?

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

Say what you will...the first cookie/cake is adorable. That's right, I went there.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

The last puts me in mind of Bill Cosby's chicken heart before the careless janitor knocked the vat over and it grew to 6 feet 6 inches and ate the entire eastern seaboard. Whatever you do, don't release it from the dome!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Wow...that last one um...takes the cake. Some of the rest of them aren't SO bad though...

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDB Impressions.

I actually like the chicken feet one. reminds me of that one character on the garfield and friends show. you know, the part with all the farm animals and there was that egg that never quite hatched all the way? just chicken feet running around with an egg on top?

i see what you mean about the icing, though. yikes!! but i don't know that it's quite a "wreck". maybe not a sweet, though, either. do you have a median category?

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Dang, CCC Chick is STACKED!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

The first one looks like it was a re-decorated Valentine's Day cake. Ick.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Haiku Joy -

I love your daily clever haikus. Well done!

This whole entry was hilarious!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNakia

*rolling with laughter!!! Love your commentary as usual!
Those chicky cakes are just awful, but I kind of like the egg one with the circus peanut molded feet. YEP circus peanuts..definitely circus peanuts.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

The CCC seemed rather well-endowed, don't you think? And the heart one actually seemed to have possibilities- but without the apostrophe eyes, the odd mouth, and... okay, maybe not!

WV: laven- I am just laven my head off at these poor cakes!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

That first cake totally had me thinking Gossamer from Bugs Bunny (http://www.funbumperstickers.com/images/Gossamer.gif)

I hate to admit but I actually kind of liked the CCC - but maybe it was the plastic that kept it from looking so goopy as CCCs usually do.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngelina Talley

Isn't it great when you can actually re-use that heart-shaped pan from Valentine's Day (cake #1)???

The rest, eeek. Glad my baby didn't have feet like that...labor would have been much more painful.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

I actually thought the first one might be a leftover heart from Valentine's day....maybe not...

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Oh man, all I could think with the last sheet cake with the feet sticking out of an Easter egg, was the birth of Big Bird.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA. B. England

That's a good way to scare the Easter spirit out of any kid!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDara

have you seen this album on flickr?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/designer_cakes_by_effie/

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I once had a pet chicken. I find the first cakes insulting to poor Henry's memory. Bok Bok Bokaw especially.

The chicken-feet cake, on the other hand, is hilarious!

And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who started singing "Cuban Pete/Sally Sweet." Chicky boom indeed!

Word verification: flernu. A novice decorator in a French bakery who is just learning how to do icing flowers.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

I looovvve #2! I would totally buy that.

Ellie

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re #2: Chicken little was right. Apparently, the sky really WAS falling...

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's not a cloud. It's a gift-wrapped fart!

:dies:

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

omg... that last pic made me spit out my soup!

Another ruined keyboard... all thanks to you. Totally worth it! lol

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommyAmy

The first cake looks like a recycled Valentine's Day cake. Probably a little on the crunchy side by now.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDistressful Damsel

That first one looks like it was frosted with mustard!

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe letter Bee

The first one is actually rather cute (though not exactly what I would expect from a professional) but the rest are just a few Cokes short of a six-pack. 0_o

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Lady fingers? I'm gonna guess lady fingers and a crapton of orange icing.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one really strikes me as what a blow-up chicken would look like... if someone was sick enough to make a blow-up chicken....

wv: bating. the wreakerators are bating 1000 today!
(There was another place I could go with that, along the lines of the blow-up chicken... but I didn't)

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

The last one reminded me of Chickenstein from "A Pup Named Scooby Doo."

The big feet cake is adorable though, despite looking like Big Bird got crushed by a falling giant egg from outer space.

---Bree

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one is like a yellow pig with too much eye make-up!!! :D

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

LOL...love the commentary on the last one. It was very punny.
I was waiting for the rimshots--badahmpbump

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervix

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