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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr142009

What About Spongebob?

I have to preface this post with a little caveat: I've never watched Spongebob SquarePants. Well, unless you count those times at CiCi's Pizza, since the TVs there are hard-wired to Cartoon Network for the resident herds of screaming little leaguers. (John and I like to visit sometimes to remind ourselves why we're not having children. And for the barbecue pizza.)

(This is Spongebob, btw, for all you non-parents and/or subterranean dwellers.)

So anyway, let me apologize in advance for the lack of Spongebobian references. I like to think that most of you wouldn't get them anyway.

Spongebob is essentially a big rectangle, right? So naturally, if you want to recreate him in cake you should always go with a bunch of round cupcakes:

Like so.

It does kind of look like we're peeking into Spo's (Can I call him Spo? Anyone care? No? Good.) casket, though, doesn't it? Plus some prankster has ripped his nose off and turned his tie upside down. [tsking] So disrespectful.

Speaking of which...

I know you can still see part of Spo's eye here, but don't worry: The baker will cover that up when s/he writes a misspelled, abbreviated version of your name there.

This next one is like the Fiji Mermaid of Cupcake Cakes (patooey!*):

Only instead of half mammal, half fish, it's half Spongebob, half...pedestal? Robot? TV on wheels? I dunno - what the heck is that thing? You tell me. Best answer may or may not get posted here, so gimme your best shot, punks.

Oh, and we're just getting started with the Spongebob Wreckage, so prepare to have gads more sprung at you sometime later this week.**

*I think we should all spit every time the horrific term "cupcake cake" [patooey!] or its abbreviation "CCC" [patooey!] is mentioned. Y'all down with that? Just watch your aim: people and keyboards don't much appreciate being spat upon.

**I just used "gads" and "sprung" in the same sentence. Dude, someone get me a sweater; I am sooo cool.

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Reader Comments (144)

That last one is clearly the love child of Spongebob and Squidward Tentacles. That can be the only reason for Spongebob Jr.'s 3rd foot.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I've never seen this show, either (insert Old Lady Alert here); my older kids grew up with the Pink Panther, Scooby Doo, the Flintstones, Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake, & Fat Albert; the younger one watched Winnie the Pooh, Dexter's Laboratory, Pinky and the Brain, Reboot, Digimon, Animaniacs, Courage the Cowardly Dog, and Sitting Ducks (those last two were MY favorites, although I grew up with Merrie Melodies).
Basically, I don't know anything "current", truth be told! >^!?^<

But if you all hate the word "Spo" so bad, what do you think of "SpoBo"?
I think it's kind of cute.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Awww....sad, they closed the Ci-Ci's in my town about a year ago. I loved the pasta with cheese sauce and bbq pizza, bt I love love LOVE the SPINACH pizza!!! YUM!

As for Spongebob, I used to watch him when my kids were little but haven't since. I never saw anything wrong with the show, though. As far as having your kids watching the news (I prefer FoxNews myself) I see nothing wrong with your kids knowing what's going on in the world. I mean... don't drown them in it, but there's nothing wrong with kids knowing what's going on in the world.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOlson

I'd say that last one is totally 1/2 Sponge Bob 1/2 Teletubby.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessjess77

About as only seeing Spongebob at Cici's-- this quadrilateral sponge airs on Nickelodeon, not Cartoon Network. (;

It's not that bad of a show, to be honest, and I would proudly recognize "Spongebobian references." Better than half the stuff that's on television these days. You should give it a chance before putting it downs, which I'm sure has gotten many comments here.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love that you go to a crazy pizza place to remind yourself why you don't have kids.
My husband and I are also childfree by choice.
I love your blog. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.
Thanks for the laughter and tears.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

If you're going to make a Spongebob cake, why not use a sheetcake? They're already square! Most of the work is done for you!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrawr

I am shocked to find that someone with a sense of humor advanced enough to write or enjoy cake wrecks would have an elitist attitude toward Spongebob. Kids or no kids, it's just plain funny. You should give it a try!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

I'm feeling a little better now about that Spongebob cake I made for my son a few birthdays ago.

Trish

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertrish-punch

1st: Spongebob is highly overrated and one of the most annoying shows I've been forced to watch by kids...

2nd: Basing your decision to read/recommend this awesome blog based on a simple Spongebob mocking post is just plain silly.

and

3rd: I'm glad these make my attempt at making a Spongebob cake look so good! (http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v171/20/15/39100353/n39100353_32525708_5319.jpg" REL="nofollow">Here if you are interested ) That just after taking the Wilton 1&2 classes.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I agree that he really should be referred to as S-Bob or SB... Spo (now is that pronounced spoo? or spaa? either way, not good).

I know there are a ton of parents out there who think SP is bad for kids, but I honestly believe SP is not a kids cartoon, it really is for adults, there is a ton of great humor in there.

But poor Bart Simpson has had to relish the same trash talk of inappropriateness, so we deal with it. I grew up not allowed to watch the Simpsons, but in all actuality, it was not appropriate for me or brothers at a younger age. We watched it when we got older, but by then we were more able to distinguish between good, bad, etc... I am not saying the Simpsons are any more appropriate for a younger age, they are not, each parent needs to determine what is or is not good for heir child(ren). Just don't shove it down my throat and do not be hypocritical about it.

That soapbox speech out of my system, the cakes (or lack thereof--as CCCs --ptooey--are not 'cakes' in my book) really leave a lot to be desired and I love the comment by the 9-year-old--about not capturing SB's 'essence'. I have seen both good SB cakes and bad, but these are some of the worst... Amazing!

BTW, I love reading about others' tormentuous trials at cake decorating, and it causes me to evaluate myself as a decorator... I have to watch myself for my own potential cake wrecks. And throughout my learning and evolving as a decorator, I have had a few... I just hate to admit it.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB-Jo

It looks like sunshine on crack.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes are amazingly bad, i mean really he is a square, its right there in the name lol!

But, wow, i'm so upset that people hate spongebob and ban them from their children.

I'm 22 and i love it, it's a great stress reliever, like cakewrecks, and it makes people happy and makes them laugh. Before i saw it i thought it was dumb, then i watched it and loved it, and laughed so much.

I think everyone who has all this unjustified hate for spongebob has never actually seen the show. I think if you haven't seen it ( a couple times) you've got no right to judge it. I know this is just another spongebob lover defending the show but i really think some people are just too judgemental of things they've never seen.

Kelly

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

First, I would like to say that Spongebob is alright. I don't know about everyone else, but I personally thought the movie was pretty good. (I mean compared to other kids' movies, e.g. Rugrats in Paris, Ant Bully)

Secondly, what is the deal with CiCi's. I've never been to one, and judging from the images of their "pizza" on the commercials, I never will. How many of you people actually think $5 buffet pizza sounds like a good idea? If you're going to eat cheap pizza, get a freezer one from the market, and then you can watch whatever you want on your TV while you eat it.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. B

Wow. How can such a sweetheart like SB evoke such hateful comments.
I have been annoyed by many cartoons and non-cartoon childrens shows. When my daughter was young, I had to endure Barney (patooie!!). And then Elmo came along and ruined classic Seseme Street.
There are cartoons inappropriate for young children, like the Simpsons and South Park.
You people are free to raise your kids how you want, but there is nothing vulgar about SB! He is hilarious, never gives up, and can teach some good lessons. The adult humor is so subtle, kids would never get it.
Is is the best cartoon ever! As a 42 year old, I find it hilarious for all ages, for different reasons.
I much prefer to shelter my daughter from the news and from nasty fast food than from creative imagination stretching humor.
Alex

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There is just one thing- SpongeBob Squarepants is on Nickleodean, not Cartoon Network.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolkie

That last one is clearly SpongeBob in a strait jacket. A kind, yet burly orderly has just tucked a blue paper napkin under his chin so he doesn't get Jello on his lap.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

That last cake is definitely half Spongebob and half this guy: http://members.fortunecity.com/zobovor/typewriter_guy_cartoon.gif

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKandice

I think that last one looks like he's either getting flushed down or coming up a toilet... Or maybe a block of melty cheese on a cake pedestal.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

That first one looks like Spongebob Van Gogh style. a little more moody, a littlem more swirly, and even more mentaly unstable

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Sponge Bob is teh aWEsoMEst!!1!!
It is the one thing my kids can agree on when they watch TV together. Granted, he isn't for everyone, but I love him.

These CCCs(patooy) are truly horrible, as they all are. Poor Sponge Bob.

Cara said: Rufus Opus, Rutaduta, Pokecheck, and "friends of" ...you all are right on.

I totally agree!

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBudgyrl

@ Netfreak...

Yes! I must call him a dirtbag. I DONOT like that cartoon at all. Last time I checked I have the right to like or dislike something if I so choose...so You can feel free to love him to pieces and I will feel free to hate him! Thanks for asking, though.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

While not a prude, I find the BK Squarepants ad hideously tasteless and sexist. And I couldn't pass up this WV: godsh.
Heard in church: "I swear to god-sh!"

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

It's sacreligious to call him "Spo." You might even like the show. I'm ok with it, but the rest of my geeky family loves it!

-Julie

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I made a spongebob cake and the kids loved it....I'm not a pro baker and it was my first time to use fondant, so there's a little wrinkle going on in the pants, but it's not as bad as some of hte ccc's here **patooey**
http://www.flickr.com/photos/trwhite/3288165129/in/set-72157614001847603/

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTina

WOW
What a day on Cake Wrecks! And over a cartoon yet :)

No kids at home
no grandkids
no TV growing up
no TV whilst kids growing up
no TV now by choice

Never seen a Spongebob

What IS a CiCi's?

Shucks. I'm on the wrong freakin plane...........again...............

But whooooeeee those are some ugly cakes!

Play nice!

Elfie

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElfie

"Gypsies! *ptooie* We spit on them. We speak of them no more."

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKit

Ok, I love Spongebob. And I'm 42. I love 'Sailormouth', I love the chocolate candy sales 'It will make you live forever!' ('NO! NO! NO!' frantically behind grandma). I love Spongebob's harried housewife and mother trying to raise the baby scallop (and Patrick's staggering home with lampshade on head father). It's not kiddy humor. I love the images of SB & P when they are landlocked in Sandy's sphere (cue image of RL dried sponge and starfish).

But I don't like these cakes.

wv: culted. As in SB's followers.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

...I... just can't stand Spongebob. I can find nothing in it to like whatsoever. Personally, if I had kids, I might ban them form watching it... in my hearing. The laugh puts me in physical pain.

That said, I'm 21 and don't like the Simpsons or Family Guy or American Dad or South Park or anything along any of those lines and I never have, so. Maybe I don't have the correct sense of humor required for enduring something that horribly annoying and finding it funny.

Also, the Burger King commercials kill a little bit of my soul every time they air. *drowns it out with some good ol' Bugs Bunny.*

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermidnightvoyager

Spongebob's cousin Chamois Pete!!! ROFLMA. Love it!

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Reason #1 to watch Spongebob. Actor Clancy Brown voices Mr Krabs, Spongebob's boss. That's the kurgan from Highlander. Allow it to turn your brain inside out just this once. Pretty sure it's also him singing the opening credits.

Reason #2 - there is no reason #2. My boyfriend's son likes the show, and I enjoy about 1/2 of one episode at a time and then I can't take it anymore.

Clinging to the weirdness of Clancy Brown's creative oeuvre is really the only thing that gets me by.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

That last spongebob cake looks like an H.R. Puff & Stuff creation.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeggin

MidnightVoyager said it all -- except that one more reason to hate Spongebob (ptooey!) is the glut of merchandising associated with that absolutely repulsive character. Try going into any grocery store, convenience store, etc. that doesn't have that horrible yellow mutant in nearly every aisle -- it can't be done!

Spo deserves a lot WORSE than merely inspiring a bunch of wrecky cakes (that are only maybe half as ugly as he is, and are at least twice as funny)!

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoodles

My three year old just said...
I don't want that Spongebob cake.. it's too scary..
lol

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I didn't think the first one looked so bad, except for the nose, lol! The second one . . . I can't make sense of. The third one just looks like Baby Bobbie in a straining wine glass . . . I think SpoBo is cute ^.^ or even SpoBob, and it certainly is easier to say than Spongebob, but I'm picky.

Now, to other posters . . .

Parents are not nazis or awful for not raising their own children by everyone else's standards. If they think SB is bad for their kids, it's their decision. I don't see how watching SB is a neccesity of a child's life <.<

I haven't seen the show and I don't want to, by the way. No, insistence will not pursuade me, and the next paragraph explains why.

I think that kids' shows that cater to adults through adult humor instead of paying attention to the child are being rude to kids. Honestly, leave the adult humor for the adult cartoons, please, and pay attention to my child. If you wanna call it a "family" show, that's a different story, but I personally find adult humor distasteful.

That's my opinion on the matter, and I've yet to see a tv show that would interest me enough to sit through commercials. I just buy the box DVD set ^.^

April 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstormcloud

I read your column faithfully, but I think today is the first time I'm writing in. I absolutely love Spongebob and cannot for the life of me imagine why anyone would want to brutalize him with cakes like those ...nor with some of the comments here. I mean REALLY, he's the nicest cartoon character. And at 40 years old, I have been around to see plenty, lemme tell ya!

April 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammi

For any sponge bob watchers the bottom half is squidward.

April 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershnump

The girly looking Spongebob cake/cupcakes with very light yellow frosting looks like R2D2's little sister R3B2 !

April 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I'm a relative newbie here (so you don't know me, sadly, since I suspect you'd make decent conversation) spending my entire day surfing your site backward from the end of June (since light scrolling is about all my hands are capable of right now, well, at least without pain but I'm willing to suffer some pain in order to post this comment), so I am *just* now giggling over your April SpongeBob SillyPants entry and it strikes me as odd that you, based on who you seem to be (which is in turn based entirely on my reading of your blog entries), do not partake of the silly, spongy goodness which is SpongeBob. It's actually a pretty darn decent timewaster, at least in this ancient woman's opinion. :-) Do I win a prize for writing almost my entire comment in one sentance?

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Spongebob is on Nickelodean, not Cartoon Network :c

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarme

Ohhh my..I didn't think the CCC(insert correct spelling of patooy here) could get any more horrifying! Spongebob does not seem to translate well into cake!

I can't believe some of the comments say that they don't let their children watch SpongeBob! What, are you Communists?

February 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrange Zeppelin

And another innocent post goes to the dogs.

Just enjoy the wrecks, people. Get your undies in a bunch over something that will actually do some good instead of attacking each other's parenting skills and character based on opinions of a cartoon. Take the energy and help the homeless or send care packages to soldiers or something constructive.

Gag, you guys. Taking a perfectly fun blog and using it for a platform to attack each other? Really? That's not what CakeWrecks is about in the least.

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

These are not bad, and definitely better than I could do :)

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarly

Wtf is on the second ones foot oh no it's sideshow bob (drawn in gasp)

September 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatiezz

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