Bakery PSA
March 10, 2009 As an insomniac I naturally despise setting the clocks forward for Daylight Savings Time. I mean, suddenly I'm a whole hour lazier than I was before. Granted, the fact that this requires absolutely no effort on my part IS pretty sweet, but still.
Anyway, it occurred to me that we should use this annoying occasion to not only remind everyone to change out the batteries in their smoke detectors, but also to change out any cake displays they may have lying about. You know, in case you have something like this in your living room window:
Those decorations make this an appropriate cake for itself, but thinking about that makes my brain kinda hurt.Or this:
Looks like something you'd find in the abandoned town of Pripyat, doesn't it? All it needs is a little singed teddy bear lying next to it. So sad.
This Wreck is also the lucky recipient of Jen's Unsolicited Rant of the Day:
"Attention bakery persons: this is a display cake, meant to advertise your product, is it not? Because I could almost forgive the two giant blobby flowers on a soccer cake, the fallen players, and the thick coating of dust, but you know where I draw the line? THE RIBBON. Seriously, you couldn't take an extra 5 seconds to put the ribbon overlap in the back? Really? Do you want me to write an entire sentence in italics? Well, do ya?!?"
Ahem.
They could also use this time to weed out the mysterious stains:
The spelling errors:
(So pretty! And yet...so wrong.)And I dunno, maybe all the stuff from 1999?
Seriously, guys, it's done its job. Let it go.*Related Wreckage: The Displays That Time Forgot
Reader Comments (70)
My three-and-a-half year old daughter saw the first cake and declared, "That birthday is a mess!"
I couldn't be more proud.
I seriously shed tears of laughter when I read this blog. Singed teddybear did it tonight. So then I had to go back and read the "beh beh" blog...
I had to stop visiting the Cake Wrecks site at work because I could not contain my laughter...I started reading around the time of creepy baby....
Not only is there quite a lot of mouse poop all over the top of the soccer cake, but there's a message there (and not just mouse "messages" ;-) )- if mice have been all over that cake and there's no sign of them having EATEN any of it, what does that say about the edibility of the cake? Would you want to eat a cake from a bakery whose cake even mice (not noted for their gourmet propensities) reject? :-P
I looked at the pictures of Pripyat. This is not a joking matter! Some of the bottles covered with dust mimic the cake wrecks!
I don't know if it's radiation sickness or not, but this whole post made me gag.
Having JUST consumed a large slab of chocolate cake prior to viewing this post, I'm now not feeling very well...bleahhhh!
The second cake is heavingly disgusting...and yes, it appears there are some rodent dropping by the "H" in Happy. EEEWW!! That's a whole lotta nasty! I also noted the blue team appears to be losing...big time!
For the love of all that is Holy, couldn't they at least vaccuum the dust bunnies off? Use a duster, or perhaps a Swiffer to remove some of the debris? Gross. Just. Plain. Gross. DEBRIS should not be in a sentence relating to cake!
Ok I realize this is besides the point, but there is no way the guy on that graduate cake is/was in high school, wtf?! lol
I guess that is meant to be grass on the aging hill, but all I can see are tiny villi of the small intestine, waiting to suck the nutrients out of their ceramic wall decorations, before they are swept off to the acending colon.
Nice.
I was always under the impression that display cakes were actually styrofoam blocks iced with spackle and caulk... you know, so that they won't get all moldy and rotten? Seems like a lot of bakeries took issue with the idea of faking it.
Oh my goodness, I graduated in '99 so I KNOW how old that one cake is! After a decade, you'd think they'd change display cakes.
It's possible that the graduate cake, is in fact, for a 10 year high school reunion celebration.
*Tilts head sideways*
I can't quite figure out who's winning the soccer game. The red team has more players who managed to stay upright, but the blue team has odd alien rose pods. Perhaps we should call it a draw and throw the cake out?
lol I have been enjoying your posts!!! Too bad to not laugh at!!
In fairness, the last one could be a 10-year reunion cake. Or it could be just celebrating that 99 was an AWESOME year to graduate :D (not that I'm biased...)
I'd definately buy one to my son for his birthday, I'd sooo like to see his face!!! hahahaha!
I am so incredibly grossed out by the ten year old cake.
I graduated high school in 2000, and by now, THAT seems like a long time ago. And yet...
The painting James mentions can be found here:
http://iamchriscollins.com/badpaintingsofbarackobama/images/37.jpg
Is that a Mexican flag flying over the White House? I agree with AJ - what's up with all the underwear?
"Seriously, guys, it's done its job. Let it go."
Oh No You Did-n't. The icing on the cake for this post, so to speak, is the gratuitous apostrophe in "it's". For shame! :-)
(love the site, keep it coming!)
i have the exact same picture of the first one! chinatown in San Francisco!!
The soccer one--besides the ribbon (done wrong and shouldn't be there), besides the rat/mouse poop, besides the weird "flowers", besides the fallen players...what about the GREEN goalie?!? He should have never been there.
The '99 grad cake freaks me out. You can see where some decorations were on the Seniors side and all I can think is that they pulled them off several years later for another cake... ewww...