Valentine's "Winners"
February 14, 2009 Hey, it's Valentine's Day!! May the sugar-coated cuteness and commercially-driven materialistic declarations of affection begin!
Just don't get your cutie-patootie any of these:
Sure, it looks like an internal organ: just not the right one.
These could lead to a lot of fun "what's that supposed to mean?" conversations:
Uh, your love kills me?
You make my heart unravel?
I don't know about you guys, but when I refer to myself in the third person in conversations with John (which is especially fun at parties), I usually prefer the designations "baby" and "your lover".
"Baby, your lover would like you to take the trash out."
"Baby, your lover is going to the store."
"Baby, your lover gets the not-so-subtle hint from your Valentine's present..."
"...but your lover has a headache." (cue "Broken Arrow" by Rod Stewart)
Now, these cake/cookie things may suffer from the whole bum-crack affliction:
...but they still look way more appetizing than these:
Hey, it's the ABC gum cake!Gabrielle H., Maya C., Anne M., Kandace H., Michael H., & Ben O., John's lover thanks you.
Reader Comments (69)
bum crack valentine's cakes... ROFL!!!
Anonymous 5:51: It's true, though....nothing says "I love you" more sincerely than a prostate exam.. *nodding head thoughtfully*
Heather said...
last one looks more like six scrota to me...
*****************************
Heh heh...
And, you know, ONE scrotum would be more than sufficient...
=^@@^=
I found the "I love you" CCC without the inscription, so it confused me. (Someone watched me while I snickered at it. Were they a Cake Wreck reader, too?) I didn't dare take a picture, though. It was a supermarket with high security. Cake Wreckers must be sneaky!
Yum, ABC gum... I am lookin' forward to eating that bad boy.
Ha! Now, personally, number three ("you make my heart unravel") calls to mind the odd mating habits of the Anglerfish - when they mature, the males' digestive systems quickly degenerate, so when they find a female, they bite her side and become fused there, spending the rest of their lives attached to each other like that.
That's probably just because I'm weird, though. I... really doubt that was the idea the wreckerator was going for.
At first glance at that fluoro pink cake, my boyfriend said 'It looks like a cervix!'
Ok. That arrow looked like a female part if you know what I mean....
-Amy
I agree with everyone who thinks the first cake is a Halloween bat. Which begs the question--is the cake actually from Halloween? Because that's kind of gross, seeing as that was more than three months ago. One can hope they just used a bat-shaped pan.
Oh, dear lord, thank you so much for crappy decorating skills so that I may laugh at them!
A new Valentine's Day saying, "I kidney you."
And blame less-than-stellar Wilton instructors for the butt crack hearts--they actually teach how to make them, but then they are supposed to tell you to smooth them out w/a finger dipped in corn starch. You know, so they don't look like butt cracks.
gross, gross, gross. that one CCC with the "arrow" on the side...well, i thought it was a penis cake. sorry.
ugh.
the baby/lover made me think of Dirty Dancing...wasn't there one scene where they did a dance to a song where she called him "lover" or something? or maybe this was a custom CW.
hilarious! thanks for my post-valentine's day giggles.
strawrose: your blog implies that you're in CA, whereas I'm in (and so took the picture in) NJ. Which means that there is MORE THAN ONE of those horrid misshapen boxed, incomplete hearted, bleeding lettered "I Love You" ccc monstrosities in the world. *shudder* that may be the worst thing I've ever heard.
I saw scrotums on the white cake...sorry...too much V-day chocolates for me, plus a Red Bull.
vw kingspa...a spa for men
That "broken arrow cake" looks happy to see you. Giggle. Whoa. That was a load of wreckiness.
That broken arrow cake looks like a uterus, complete with fallopian tubes and ovaries.
This blog is awesome. And that first cake looks like the GTVF Ulysses space superiority fighter from Freespace.
#1--hey, giving someone a kidney IS a way to show you love them! (however, it's usually to a sibling. you know, the whole "match" thing)
not exactly romantic...
lol I think the second one is like a cake rendition of the "Whatsit" in the newspaper. Maybe the common phrase it represents is, "Two hearts beating as one" ? If you interpret the squiggles as EKGs and pretend they actually match!
Yikes! The internal organ cake looks like a kidney! Uhhh... Happy Valentine's Day?