Ho Ho Horrors!
December 21, 2009 Look, I know sometimes it's only natural to spend your workday fantasizing about the many and colorful ways your boss/customers/coworkers could meet an untimely end - I do.
That said, maybe someone should look into getting these Wreckerators a little group therapy time.
And here I never thought I'd get to use the words "cake" and "bloodbath" in the same sentence. (See? Dogged determination really can pay off!)
It's electric!
Wow. Who knew a cake could have such an open mind?This Just In: A bakery butcher is on the loose! Suspect should be considered armed and dangerous.
P.S. Make that VERY armed:
[Mr. Bill voice] "Ohh Nooo!"
"Oh, oh, oh! As if my merry man-jugs weren't disturbing enough."
[shining flashlight in face all spooky-like] "And aaaall that was left was a Santa-shaped smear on the floor, with the name "Dallas" ominously written beside it - in blood."
Derrelyn P., Tamara Q., Aaron D., Kyle B., Becca S., & Christie M., I gotta admit: after spending yesterday afternoon out in the teeming masses of holiday shoppers, I kind of relate to these Wreckerators. Then I watched Prep and Landing and got my holiday mojo back. :)
- Related Wreckage: Because We Need More Holidays
Reader Comments (144)
My donations have decreased through CW because I have had friends come into need themselves. One, a cat blogger, had their house broken into and most of their belongings stolen. The other one, a coworker friend's relatives were in a fire. The kids are 9, 7, and 6. They lost all their belongings, and they didn't have much to being with. So, I made a $100 donation to them for clothes and a few toys for Christmas. The 9 year old girl's hair caught on fire and she got 3rd degree burns on her hands trying to put it out. Luckily that's the worst of it and she's out of the hospital.
The kids are staying with their grandmother and her boyfriend because of a nasty custody battle. Well, the grandmother's boyfriend decided to start a fire in the fireplace with newspaper, kindling, and ... GASOLINE. Of course, there was an explosion. Luckily the two youngest were outside playing at the time, but the 9 year old got the brunt of it. And, it doesn't stop there. The jerk is now trying to blame it on the kids who were outside at the time.
Yes, the open-minded is indeed intestines. Complete with the, ummm, 'tail end' trailing off to the, ummm, bottom. Oh dear.
The cakes - as usual, serious wrecks. I think the 3rd is supposed to be a santa hat in a wreath, based upon the odd white blob to one side. But that's just a guess...
As for today's charity, may she find peace in the year to come, and may the public allow her the space to mourn in her own fashion. We had a tragedy here many years ago where I had to have the highway patrol help me bounce a local tv personality because she couldn't take no for an answer at their funeral. *sigh*
as to the short squat one, i like his hat. very... phashionable
I was knocked off my feet financially this month, and had thought I wouldn't donate to your charities, though they are very important.
Except this one. Wow. I gave $2.50 and realized that this wasn't enough.
I'd love to hear how much we all raised...
Nobody should EVER have to go through what Amanda must be going through right now. It really puts into perspective what is important and just how small my problems. I I am donating and praying for this young woman and her step-daughter.
The intestines cake is terrifying o_O It looks like someone's belly got split!
I cannot imagine how Amanda is holding up :( I'm friends with her on facebook, and she's being way more stoic than I ever could be...I'm sure she's broken up inside, but she's being so strong...
And I just have to say...I'm broke. I've hand-made all my presents this year, and I have to hand them out at our family dinner on New Year's, as I don't have enough to ship them.
But I gave to Amanda. I wish I could give to all the charities this month, but I cant...and I wasn't planning to, with my current situation.
I wasn't able to give much, but I can hardly imagine what she's going through, and maybe with everyone together there can be some semblance of peace for her.
That poor woman. I have a 4 year old son, and I cannot imagine losing him, in any manner at all. But to lose the son as well as a baby daughter AND a husband - my god. I can't imagine the pain she must be in. Why do these horrible things happen to people?
I'd like to submit a charity possibility. The Surfrider Foundation is a great organization that helps clean up oceans and beaches.
surfrider.org
Thanks for the consideration!
I hope you guys realise what an amazing thing you're doing by using this apparently frivolously passion to touch our hearts for the things that matter. I live a long way from these people but my heart goes out to them and I hope our collective donations and prayers can help provide some comfort.
I did think of intestines too when I saw the 3rd. cake! So disgusting!!! who could eat something like that? It would probably be a great birthday cake for Dr. Hannibal Lecter! anybody else agrees with me?
I've loved all the charities you've posted thus far- I've even been involved with a few (I dug wells for a summer in Mozambique, Africa). But I'm now working as an artist, and barely have money to pay rent and eat.
But then I read this story, about the girl with the same name as me, and I shaken. So I donated (not much, not enough, but what I could). I'm so sorry, Amanda.
Someone got killed and the murderer hid the body right on the cake
Are you sure those aren't entrails? Not that a sliced open skull isn't just as good a way to off your boss ... I'm just saying.
I'm sorrry, I don't agree that it's a brain. It's intestines. UGH! Regardless, neither is appealing for a cake, now is it?
A Mr Bill reference!! I LOVE that!! Never see much of him anymore.
Look, the criminal left his doggy footprints at the scene of the poochicide! the blood seeped icing with his tongue hanging out--wtf?
Love the electrified gingerbread man's "shocked" eyes and scarf, too!
WHAT, in God's name, is that third cake supposed to be? A wreath? or is the greenery the bed for the intestine pie that's being served with a trail of mustard around the edge. please, what is the backstory here? how unappetizing.
Mr. Gingerbread Bill does look like an attack victim. The icing is even smudged where his arms were stolen. I wonder if there's a cookie crumb trail to the culprit....
(he actually looks a little ghostly)
Is man jug Santa naked? except for the boots and white mittens? there's an image I didn't need. He looks a little shocked. Maybe he just caught his reflection.
Is that a flower shaped pan they
used to make him?
That Dallas crime scene cake cracks me up! "Dallas written in blood" and love the little plastic hat on top of flat Santa. He looks like he got hit right as he was putting the little present under the tree. See how it seems a little flung to the edge?
"Who knew a cake could have such an open mind?"
It looks (A LOT) more like an open abdomen to me.
Happy holidays, Wreckerators!
These are just wrong in so many ways! Come on people... creative is one thing, but bizarre & creepy is another.
LOL @ Bek.
Deck the halls with boughs of entrails. fa la la la la la la la la
shock the cookies, chop off doggy tails, fa la la la la la la la la
garnish brains with wreaths of mustard....set it on cabbage leaves with mayo....
now we've all lost our app-e-tites, fa la la la la, la la la la.
come to think of it, maybe it WAS supposed to be a Santa hat on a xmas tree. the mustard may be garland and there is a trailing piece with a possible pom pom. but why pink? and why entrail-like? and WHY a Santa hat on a tree? and why a top view? at least the garland could look more festive. sheesh.
I like the theory that the tree is making off with the gift. And if you look closely, Santa is either wearing corduroy or he has treadmarks. however, the hat still being stiff and erect is baffling. is it a santa hat helmet?
also, here in NJ we're required to have smokes on every level and within the doorway of each bedroom. but for older homes, they can sometimes make do with less. but still must have SOME smokes. plus, aren't there "international codes" that govern this thing? how can it be legal anywhere in the u.s.?
heartbreaking tragedy. as a parent, it makes my heart ache for her. God bless.
wv: whinkles. I think runover Santa has some whinkles in his clothes. manboobs might have them in his skin. and intestine cake--well, enough said.
I can't even imagine the loss that poor family is feeling. How awful. Donation has been sent.
My thoughts go out to the Buckland family and friends. Ho Ho Horrors indeed :( Dribble sent.
Also sent myself a reminder to check batteries at home.
Today's CW offerings were also pretty frightening. Glossy intestines and a santa skin rug are chilling in a non-wintery sense.
Thanks so much for telling us about Amanda's situation. We lost our home to fire 29 years ago this past December and lost all our belongings. The one thing that comforted us was not losing a life. My heart and prayers goes out to her family, and I hope that my small contribution helps somewhat. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to help.
I was really bummed yesterday because I wanted to donate to this family and yet my financial situation prevented me from doing so. But then...after reading one of the articles you had linked to, I had a great idea. I am going to Sears after work to buy a gift card and mail it to the address in the article. I even called the people to let them know that I would be sending it! Yes, I have to charge it but you know what? In this case, it's perfectly alright!
The "brain" cake... Oh. My. Lord.
That's all, I got nuthin' else.
are you sure that pink one has the intestinal fortitude to have an open mind??? LOL
I don't have much (had $1.75 on my acct) and I sent every cent. I wish I could've helped more. What a tragic story :(
My prayers are with the woman who lost her husband and children in the fire. I can't imagine the pain she must be going through. I don't cry often, but I am actually crying right now thinking about her loss.
that last one: totally a "poo-tree"; in fact, I think this blog may have ruined forever cylindrical chocolate frosting for me.
These are horrible. And fantastic. And horrible.
So thalidomide gingerbread men are festive now? Combine that with Santa in mid sex change and I say this is one GREAT Christmas!!
Liz in Seattle
PS-- I do not have a Paypal acct. Are there other ways to donate? I don't want o break my streak! Especially when it comes to this family.
I would really like to see a total of all the donations... but I know there wouldn't really be a way to sort them out? Or would there?
Jen/John?
I'm really hoping we made a difference for Amanda and her stepdaughter. They need it now more than ever to know that people care about them.
All I can say is take this as a lesson to always tell your loved ones that you love them, check your smoke detectors, and cherish every moment of life
This post *ahem* TAKES THE CAKE (yes I know the pun has been done WAY too many times). I couldn't help but laugh at each and every cake.
Great way to promote charitable efforts, as well- keep up the good work!
Cyndi said...
Only your site could make me laugh and cry within minutes.
Posted Kristie's blog link on my Facebook; I can't even imagine such a horrible tragedy for Amanda. :(
i cant even begin to imagine the immense pain this woman and her stepdaughter are dealing with. i cant imagine going on. i donated money, i only wish i could donate comfort...
Why does the man-jug Santa only have half a hat?
WV-roobsp: the noise I made when I saw the intestine cake.
Too funny. The Santa cakes are my favorite. It is nice to have a good silly laugh and then feel better about my own baking skills or lack thereof!
hahaaha A bakery butcher...thats classic! Killing myself here laughing. lol xx
Love it! Can wait to have one. Really very artistic!
OHHHHHH.... it's a Santa hat... during Santa's lobotomy
The bloodbath dog cake is my design, but one of my former cake decorators took the design and used it at another store, so this was the end result ("Jack" --the name of the dog) isn't usually sitting in red blood. It actually was a very popular cake when I worked there. I can't vouch for it now, because I no longer work there, and the decorators there now are mediocre at best (you get what you pay for...)
That disgusting third cake totally baffled me until I noticed the eyes at the bottom of the photo. I realized it's Oscar the Grouch with a santa hat on, from top view. Someone needs help mixing a proper red icing. They've got the green down perfect.