Wrecks on Display
September 2, 2008 Usually the goods in a shop window are supposed to be, well, good. But with advertising like this, who needs competition?
Between the faded-out colors and crumbled who-knows-what littering her face, Tyra has seen better days.
I can see why the construction crew was called in: this cake-tastrophe not only split the earth asunder, it also rained cigarette ash from the sky. Nice blue border though. Er, why is that there again?
Nah, these aren't Wrecks. They're actually kind of cool, in a bizarre way - so I thought I'd share. The green prickly one in particular fascinates me.
Bummer.
What in the Sam hill is going on here?!? Is that supposed to be Barbie's skirt? Because it looks like some massive icing eruption, with her shooting out of the top like a human cannon ball.
And speaking of eruptions and cannon balls, I hope I don't get in too much trouble for posting these next, honorary "cake" Wrecks:
Really, these have got to be the least phallic looking phalli I've ever seen - so if your kids ask, they're little rocket ships, mkay? Just ignore that little sign. Check out the sweet display setup, too: that yellow plastic bucket is totally selling 'em. And what do you suppose that crumbly bread-ish looking thing is next to it? Wait, scratch that; I don't want to know.
Thanks to eagle-eyed Wreckporters Mark T., Monique R., MR, Rachel D., and Xanna C.
Reader Comments (158)
Cake Wrecks ROCKS!
Very cool, kooky idea for a blog.
The intro reminds me of a line in the song "Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend" by the Mr. T Experience:
"The odds are pretty good, but the goods are pretty odd."
omigawd, your blog is so much fun. who knew there were such bad cakes out there? thanks for the laughs.
Can I add that there is a child behind the penis cake display?
OMG! I have to take a picture of Barbie cakes next time I go by this one big bakery that has similar samples in their window. They're really wrecktastic, but I never thought that they could and should be posted here.
I think it looks like Barbie is actually screaming while being sucked into an icing volcano.
the, um, anatomical one is hilarious, I especially enjoyed the multi- cultural aspect.
My 3 year old daughter saw this and said, look mama, poops!
No honey, other side.
Susan
www.theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com
LOL – wasn’t there once a kind of Barbie that came with cans of pastel-colored mousse to make her an ‘outfit’? I seem to remember seeing the TV commercials for that when I was a little kid. The end result looked pretty much like that awful cake.
@ kat, re: the eclair willies... OMG... bwaahahaha! Wouldn't surprise me either...
Those are awesome! I really must start looking for wreck on a regular basis now! ;)
It's the Stripper Barbie cake. For when you can't afford the real "Stripper jumps out of a cake" cake.
For what it's worth, those non-wreck (but very green) cakes are probably from a Chinese bakery. The green ones are likely green tea flavored.
It looks like an earthquake hit that construction site...
Has anyone noticed the broken "willy" in the top right corner of the picture? EEK!!!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog!
I've seen a lot of green cakes in my area, they're "green tea" flavored. They mix green tea powder with a light creme, it's quite popular in Hawaii and very tasty too. :D
I guess the only thing to say about the Barbie cake is . . .
"baby got back"?
Having lived in China, I agree with saxon, those middle cakes look very Chinese! I think they're just lovely. On the off-chance that bakery is in the US, could you please tell me how (or give a hint) to find it? Seriously, I'm in love with those cakes!
And as for the green color, if the Hawaiian poster was right and it's because they're green-tea-flavored... I want the recipe! Green tea ice cream is amazing... I can only imagine how rad the cake version would be.
PLEASE somebody help me find these cakes!
Barbie cakes *can* be done well. This Barbie is too tall and frilly. My guess is that the baker measured the entire Barbie, forgetting that the top half sticks out. As for the frills... no clue.
Until I clicked to see the full size pic I thought the crumbly bread was a sleeping cat!
The green prickly cake might be modeled after durian fruit, which is a stinky but popular fruit in southern Asia.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian
The other cakes were also unusual but pretty.
Wow.. That Barbie cake is the thing nightmares are made of. This remains one of my favorite blogs.
Confession: I have always wanted one of those Barbie cakes. I don't know why.
I laughed so hard(no pun intended) when I saw the sad little gay pride objects.
They looked more like weird little mushrooms to me.
And WOW!...someone was actually trying to sell them?
The Barbie cake reminds me of any pageant dress worn by a six year old!
OMG that pink cake with the melty action brings delight to my cold, black heart. It's like coming in fourth place when they only hand out medals to places 1-3.
Sadly, this may be the designer's best work. The seventh- and eight-place sweets are hiding behind the counter.
I made a Barbie cake once. My daughter loved it. Completely tacky but hey she's a little girl! :)
No, it is a letter T shape, not rocket-ships!
OMG, I had that Barbie cake when I was little -- the same freaking one. OMG. And the thing tasted like hairspray, too. *gag* Thanks for the traumatizing memories!
The barbie cake looks like she might be a suprise at a bachelor party!
I'm pretty sure having nuts all over her face is just a typical day for Tyra.
My son had that same construction cake last year for his bday LOL.
The Construction one is supposed to have a DARK blue border. It's actually on the spec sheet. And the Ash sprinkles are supposed to be black... you know.. the ones that come with the kit.
OWWWWWW!!!! "My" teef hurt.
I thought the penises were mushrooms. Then I read the sign, ewwww!
Hey! I actually had a Barbie cake for my 4th birthday (that was 36 years ago). We had to go to out of state to get it. I lived in a tiny town in North Dakota and had to cross the border into a tiny town in Minnesota to get it from one of the "Most Decorated" cake bakers this side of the Mason Dixon.
That would be a quiche Lizard on the left there.
The Barbie Cake: It's the little kid version of the stripper in the cake! :)
wow im on a roll with actually having some of the cakes you have posted, but actually done WELL.
i had a sweeet barbie cake as a child (thanks mom), and lucky for me the dress didnt look like a volcano about to erupt.
mom was quite the creative one when i was a child. i also had a big bird cake, find any bad ones of those?
I suppose a better place to look for gay pride food products would be http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php" REL="nofollow">Voodoo Doughnuts... First column, fourth down.
As for the barbie cake, yes, that's supposed to be her dress, and they're rather popular, I hear, but they're supposed to look like http://images.allrecipes.com/site/allrecipes/area/community/userphoto/big/97216.jpg" REL="nofollow">this.
I recognize the "FE" logo on the sign next to the Barbie cake--it stands for Food Emporium, a supermarket chain here in NY that is currently trying to position itself as upscale. I've seen that particular style of cake at the location near my apartment.
I think doll dress cakes may be pretty popular in the NY area; I had one when I was a kid, but it was executed much better.
My older sister had a similar Barbie cake when she was about 5 or 6. But hers was waaaaaay nicer. The skirt was not so abnormally large. It does resemble a girl jumping out of a cake...Hmmmm...
...Why, pray tell, is the Barbie Cake so darned expensive? I would not pay sixty bucks for it, that's for sure.
Noooo comment on the rather...phallic..mini-cakes.
....I'd totally serve them at a bachelorette party, though. :)
I'm pretty sure the crumbling thing beside the gay pride cakes is a http://www.risukun.com/Node.aspx?id=203370" REL="nofollow">bread animal of some sort. My high school girlfriend's family had a tradition of making them, and a bakery in town here has a few on display.
For some reason, displayed bread animals seem to stay in the window for months... if not years. And they get crumbly and unappetising. I suspect they're more art than food.
(As for the gay pride cakes, of course they're for eating. So are the chocolate wangs, lollipop vulvas, etc, etc. It's just not weird to eat effigies of what you "eat" usually.)
yeah the green spiky one is probably durian, we love durian cakes here in singapore and i've seen some similar in design too
I totally had a Barbie cake like that for my fifth birthday! I remember she had a dress on underneath the icing and my dad pulled her out of the icing and licked it off her butt.
The bread thing next to the penis-cakes looks like the tail/back end (the little lump sticking out on the top side is a foot, I think) of a loaf of bread baked in the shape of a lizard...I know it sounds strange, but when I went to Egypt, the boat we were on would sometimes have them displayed with dinner, and they were actually very nice and creative looking.
Woah, what is with the neon pink cake? It looks like it's vomiting flowers.
Love the chocolate dipped balls, haha, and the large cake that look as though the side of it exploded with your "bummer" comment underneath.
The Barbie cake is not only made by the professionals! My sister (who could be a professional)allowed my then four year old niece to choose which cake to make my dad for his birthday. The winner? A pink Barbie cake.
Seriously? i mean, SERIOUSLY?!
WTF is wrong with whoever thought of the "Brilliant" idea of selling cake penises for gay pride?!