Play It Again, Wrecks.
August 11, 2008 Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:
Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:
We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.
This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:
Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:
As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...
I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.
But even that is restrained compared to this:
Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.
Um. What?
Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.
And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:
Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.
And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?
Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.
Reader Comments (112)
My stomach!! I can't imagine eating the last one...
Hey there! I just wanted to let you know I tagged you for a Brillante Weblog award because I so enjoy your blog, and you keep my laughing! Don't worry, I don't expect you to pass the award on, but I wanted you to know I love your blog!
What the??? Did they order "extra fungus" on the toe nails of that last cake? Thank God I wasn't eating when I opened this post...that one will stick with me!
OKAYYYYYY...that's it. I'm never eating cake again!
There's a traditional cake served at Mardi Gras which has a tiny plastic baby hidden inside.
I can only wonder if the pregnancy cakes contain a similar surprise...
The best part is the pregnant cake with her butterfly tattoo included. Nothin' says class like a butterfly tattoo on an engorged pregnant torso cake. hee hee hee.
ain't no way i'd bite into that last cake. not only does the cake have plantar warts (those bumps on top) but there's some very nasty fungus under those toe nails.
I think I'm going to have nightmares now. *cries in pain*
That's hysterical!
I love it!
I think this post is some kind of aversion therapy. Are you in cahoots with Weight Watchers?
Must remember these horrors next time the cake cravings strike...
Oh the humanity!! O_O
Just discovered your blog. I'm an instant fan.
Oh.
My.
Gawd.
That's all I can say.
what would possess a person to order such a monstrosity of a cake as that disgusting foot?! is "hoof" a podiatrist or just a guy with bad feet?
Is there an actual cake pan for pregnant women cakes or something?
I truly felt my stomache flip when I saw the cruddy grungy foot cake. ewwwww
Love your blog, can't imagine how in the world they come up with ideas for these cakes. Hopefully I won't come across any of these cakes in the future.. lol
I love how on the baby butt cakes, they don't even try to make the round cakes look butt shaped. So they are now creepy and poorly executed... lol
This will teach me a lesson about scrolling through pictures before reading the text while eating lunch. That last foot one is the most disgusting thing imaginable, there is absolutely no way I could put a piece of that in my mouth. Blech!
OK, how long will it be before someone takes that extra step and puts a little pile of Whoppers candy beneath the baby's butt?
loving this blog
Ann said: "OK, how long will it be before someone takes that extra step and puts a little pile of Whoppers candy beneath the baby's butt?"
And if that's not bad enough, how long after that will they decide to use red velvet cake a la "Steel Magnolias".
GAH!!
*golf clap*
Actually the new foot cake isn't nearly as disgusting as the original one!
And for the stethascope? maybe the cake is for an OB/GYN? Just a thought.
I found the blog of the creator of that pregnant bikini cake. Apparently it was for an OB-GYN who was celebrating her birthday and retirement. The creator has a lot of experience creating "naughty" cakes, as you'll see if you check out some of her other creations. I have to say, at least her designs are well executed.
http://creolecakes.blogspot.com/2007/11/pregnant-naughty-cake.html
Oh My God! I spend a fair amount of time looking at cakes online for inspiration, but this site is totally outrageous. I just can't imagine letting any of these walk out with a customer. Holy crap! My husband and I laughed so hard we cried looking at the pics and reading your hysterical commentary. Who ever would want a pregnant torso!? Your site is great, I'm checking in every day!
Oh no!!
That foot is from The Bleeding Heart Bakery, here in Chicago!
Someone must have custom ordered it... But who!??!
And for the love of God, WHY?!?!
K*
Ps
Cake Wrecks rules!
Wow.
Just....
I hope these cakes never come into my life whenever I get pregnant! There is something just overly disturbing and slightly cannibalistic about eating a baby-butt cake or a baby-in-belly cake...
The second picture of the incomplete "bride" cake isn't a bride and it isn't a cake. It's another polymer clay cake topper by the same artist who sculpted the first one, but it's smaller than life-size, it's for a girl's 16th birthday party, and the finished product had arms and looked fantastic. Why pick out just one image of the incomplete project, when the whole thing is documented at the sculptor's http://www.flickr.com/photos/elizabethbonura/sets/72157603459159404/" REL="nofollow">Flickr page here?
Please be sure to add this jewel... http://i13.tinypic.com/63d2ypt.jp%3Cbr%3Eg
I never laughed so hard. I hope you never get ahold of one of our cakes =).
So TMZ gave you a pic of Brit's baby shower cake? Dayum.
It's nice to be reminded that reality is always stranger than fiction.
Ride on Naked Mohawk babies, ride on!
So, apparently it actually was for an OB/GYN, but you know, preggo ladies do sometimes use stethoscopes to listen to their baby's heartbeat. So I don't find the stethoscope to be so weird.
The bikini and the humongo nipples, now that's weird. LOL. But it's the protruding belly button that REALLY makes me shudder.
OMGosh. I KNOW what the distorted foot with the red cuff is. I's a "bound" foot! The torturous old Chinese custom of binding feet brought to sugar covered reality. How dreadfully gruesome - for us, and for the lady with that bound foot!
OMG that is too hilarious! I'm adding this to my blogroll if you don't mind.
Give me a toe nail! Not too much fungus, please.
i have personally spoken with the woman that makes those baby butt cakes, and while she is very nice, its disturbing, and i am so glad I am not the only one who thinks so! its just a little "off-putting" dont you think?
This is the first time I've posted on your blog, but this cake just...well, takes the cake. YUK!!
Amy
My husband actually made that really nasty foot cake. It was made as a joke to get back at his brother for a ton of different things, you know, brother growing up together...embaressing eachother type stuff. However, you would be surprised what people actually do ask us for and in the end, you make what your customer wants, not what you want.
I think I have seen a foot just like that, just it wasn't ON the table.
The only way the baby butt cakes could be worse is if they were chocolate flavor.
Thank you for this site. I was taking a break from what I was doing at work and ended up making an ass of myself laughing hysterically at your posts. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Thanks!
Oh My! What can really be said?
OMG they actually made a chinese footbinding cake? I can just imagine a world history student bringing that in as extra credit during the Tang/Song Dynasty unit...
That's about as disgusting as it comes. YUCK!
This blog is awesome! I haven't come across anything this funny. Apparently with most of these cakes, common sense is not so common.
nice cakes
Why would anyone even want a cake shaped like a baby but? I mean, what's the thought process there?
Th-the last two...
WHY
These are hilarious. I laughed so hard at the stethoscope and the warty foot cake that I scared my cat.
Lisa's shower cake in her comment link had me in tears too.