Saturday
Nov152008
And For That Crowning Touch...
November 15, 2008 So Shawn sent in this "specialty" cake:
Which might lead one to question what their "specialty" is. Hmm. Things from Down Under, perhaps? [smirk]
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Gee, Jen, I wish I could see that from another angle and with more color saturation," aren't you? Aha! I knew it. Well, luckily for you, Formica D. also sent in a photo of the exact same cake:
Wow. I don't know about you guys, but seeing that top "pile" in all its glistening glory is greatly grossing me out. Ick.
By the way, given that the displayed goods next to the cake went from ghostly strawberries to turkey cupcakes, just how long do you suppose it's been sitting there? Long enough to attract flies, perhaps?
Reader Comments (114)
Even without the... erm... stem? the orange sweaty, lumpy, cracked icing is a wreck.
I swear i'm the only one who saw the stem and thought "oh lovely day, I just want the chocolate!!"
yes I DO realize what it looks like.
But I DO realize it's chocolate, and will turn into what it looks like anyway...
so who am I to complain?
Obviously, I'm hormonal and need chocolate!
This is a mean thing to inflict upon a sufferer of morning sickness. Excuse me while I lose my breakfast.
What do you expect for 19.95?
Seriously folks, these decorators are allotted all of 15 minutes per cake.
I wonder what kind of cake YOU could produce in that amount of time?
When the ghosts came out and the turkeys went in they did an air brush update. That would explain the brighter color on the second cake but the same ridges that John noticed.
Kudos for the great air-brush job.
IF by chance it is meant to be a pumpkin, where's the little lines running DOWN the sides of said orange catastrophe? And doesn't the stem of a pumpkin have the same VERTICAL lines?
At first look I thought it was some weird orange like fruit - you know, like an orange, with one dirty great big caterpillar eating its way through said weird orange blob like thing. Of course, if that were the case, and in my defense it does look like some segmented worm/caterpillar type thingy's butt I would have expected the front end to be appearing from somewhere on the orange blob thing.
Of course, the reason I thought that was I never knew pumpkins had flowers and such growing out the side of them ;)
But those strawberry-ghost-things were kinda cute, don't you think?
Anyway, that cake looks so disgusting I actually want to eat it. How's that for reversed psychology?
(Word verification: motru. Actually souns like a good name for the cake, Motru - the poop cake.)
This might be a page for your Wrecks or Sweets, depending: http://englishrussia.com/?p=851" REL="nofollow">they're in Russian.
THAT HUGE TURD IS DEFINATELY "SPECIAL."
That stem is just wrong, wrong I tell you, wrong.
That looks like a giant earthworm burrowing into a rotten pumpkin.
eckkk
urk...
I posted a shout-out to your site on my blog today. Thanks for the chuckles...
Haha! I actually took a photo of a cake very similar to that at our local grocery store, but since my photo software is on our old computer, I haven't gotten around to hooking it up, and downloading, and then transferring and uploading the photos.
It was smaller, and minus the flowers, but it had the little green vines and the pile-of-poo stem, and to top it off there were little piles of poo with vines decorating the plate around! It just looked all wrong.
And to think, what poor soul does buy that wreck will get a mouthful of stale cake. And possibly other stuff. It can't be sanitary when a cake has gone from one holiday to another, untouched.
Perhaps the creator of this....umm, item, wanted to give the impression that the 'flowers' are exploding out of the 'pumpkin'? Could it be a post-modernist comment on the first 'Alien' movie? Or perhaps..............HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry, I'm laughing so hard I'm dripping tears all over the keyboard.
Word verification: vablougu. Yep, this 'cake' IS a total vablougu. And I don't mean that in a good way. :):)
since I'm a pro-photographer and all my gear would be well, kinda not so inconspicuous (giant camera, even bigger lens lol), I'd be seen (I've been seen and 'spoken to' by management on more than one occasion, but I'll never leave $5grand of gear in my truck ifyaknowwhatimean) but since I do have my iphone, and although I generally avoid the bakery area of the grocery store, I'm gonna have to start venturing that way in the hopes of finding some pretty nasty cakes. And there are some horrors....
I really do not think that any place like walmart, albertsons, safeway, coles (shoutout to stephanie since I'm an aussie living in the USA), king soopers etc, will ever be exempt from wrecking. Especially since most places like that don't pay the people enough to really care.
But thats all the more fun for us!
"he called the sh** poop!"
My first thought was "the decorator brought her dog to work"
Nasty.
$20 for the protruding piece coming out! Yikes!
anon..those Russian cakes are spectacular.
I thought that was a random elephant trunk poking throught there...
I LOVE your blog! When I was first introduced to it I went back through all your archives and looked at every single cake. My favorite is the one where it was supposed to be a really gorgeous William Wallace plaid and it turned into a drunken Rastafarian mess!
Every time I see a cake I wonder if it's the kind you would feature but I never take a picture. And the comedic anecdotes really make your blog special!
Keep it up! I've told everyone about your blog!
Patty B!
Um, yeah, that's ... really appetizing.
Not.
I don't even know what it is supposed to be! Most of the time you can at least guess what the intent of the decorator was, but I'm thinking....basket handle? cornucopia? misshapen tree? Surely the intent was not to actually depict what it looks like it is.....
it's so realistic that i can smell it. and that's even grosser..
Hopefully it hasn't been sitting there that long. The scariest thought is that they made more than one of these.
I know the bakery that's from, at least I think I do - at least, the store from which it came. And they reproduce their "specialty" cakes over and over again during the season in which they make them until you're sick unto death of them!! I worked in their bakery myself, actually. And they - GASP! - sold FROZEN bakery items, including the most gorgeous chocolate mousse cake with a huge brittle chocolate ornate fan on top - it was amazing that it came from across the country, in one piece, and lasted months. And every. single. one. looked EXACTLY the same. Hence, my near-certainty that this is the same chain (well, the case, sign, strawberries, turkeys, and poo also) that this is the place I once worked....this isn't 2 pics of the same cake - it's two different cakes....just really, REALLY amazingly wrecktastically same decorating talent...
Ew, that's disgusting!
As for the Halloween/Thanksgiving thing, if the photo was taken in Canada, those two holidays are really close together (both in October). Just saying.
Aside from the rather unfortunate stem (that is what that is, right?) it's not even that bad of a cake. Oddly colored perhaps, but not that bad.
Ok so is it a pumpkin cake (notice in the first picture its next to halloween decorations) or a cornucopia ( in the second picture its next to Thanksgiving stuff) hmmmm? The sad part is it has either been made twice on purpose meaning someone bought this disaster or it has still never been bought since Halloween. LOL
Actually, my first thought was that it was an earthworm, burrowing into the cake. Then, I thought it might be a wilted, flaccid palm tree.
oh ick. I can`t get past the "pile" to evaluate the rest of the cake.
My 5 year old daughter wants to know if it's a pumpkin or a slime. i think that sums it up nicely. i voted for slime myself
Here's an even scarier thought. What if it hasnt' been sitting there that long? What if they made more than one? *shudder*
That looks like a pile of poo. . . old poo
Wow - that thing on top looks way to much like an over sized maggot...
Sorry to be so gross, but really, what the heck is that supposed to be?? It can't be the stem on the pumpkin...can it??
Kami
Oh. The color looks like what comes out after a barium enema, well sort of.
How ... unfortunate.
Word verification: inessne. Cousin to insane.
Looks like someone has been taking their colon cleanse. Yuck!
I also noticed that the fruit tart (to the left of the cake on the lower shelf) is still there! This has to be an October 31 / November 1 picture!!!
This reminds me of the thing in Hagrid's hut at the end of the third Harry Potter movie. It looks like a giant mealworm or maggot coming out of the pumpkin.
I'm w/ Lisa: where are the vertical lines? *IF* it's a pumpkin, they should be vertical on the pumpkin AND the stem.
If they made it for Halloween...shouldn't it be more of a jack-o-lantern? Maybe that's the plan in case the cake remains another year...to carve out a face by scraping off the....fireworks explosions?
No. What is that? Really. It makes me scared to go near any bakery!
Spam word: jaduset
They sure did.
*shiver*
I know what this is!!! It's a poopkin!!!
It has to be from the same bakery. The same fruit tart is in the bottom left side of the screen.
The turkey cupcakes with the pilgrim hats, is very American. Canadian celebrate Thanksgiving but we don't have any historical events involving pilgrims or natives to go with it.
Is that a fly holding the card in place on top of the turd worm?
I have to stop obsessing about this cake.
word verification: palies...is that like friendlies except we're pals
Wait, that's a stem? gaaahhhh. I thought it was a failed cornucopia or something. good lord. it looks like, well, what it looks like. X___X
jackie31337, that would actually be kind of neat: a cake done like a tide pool, with light cocoa frosting to suggest light brown rocks, white chocolate barnacles, and a concave top in which lurk tiny buttercream sea anemones and chocolate shellfish.
Jenny Islander
Word verification: Prepla. If those pictures are two different cakes, this wreck is done to a preplaed design. Which makes me wonder what designs they use for baby shower cakes . . .
It looks like some cows got loose in the pumpkin patch and left a few 'patties'..ewww!
~Amy B.
It's not even the same cake..look at the flower placement on both..they are clearly different cakes..and yes that is way too much cornucopia icing on top..but overall I don't think it's that bad..either of them..
The words, "Steaming pile of poo" are now stuck in my head.
Eeeeeew!