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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug132009

The Joker's Revenge

Thank goodness for those big photo books at the bakery counter. You know, the ones with all the cake designs in them? Yeah. Without those, how would we ever know what toys come with the cake?

What's that? You thought the books showed the cake designs, too? Ah. Please excuse me for a moment, while I turn my head and laugh heartily at your oh-so-sweet naivete.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ahah.

I do so love shattering expectations.

Here's what Naomi J. ordered:

"Taxi!"

Aaand what she received:

Great slithering slabs of slime-secreting slugs, Sally!
(Sorry Naomi; I needed an S name.)

Note how all that airbrush dye pools together and glistens wetly in the light. Mmm. And the way that blackened, moldy green offsets the fluorescent green border. Yeah, that's tasty. And, of course, there's the eclair-filling slug bombs; can't forget those.

However, you should also note - and in the decorator's defense - that the batman toys look exactly the same. Hooray, photo book!


- Related Wreckage: Why So Serious?

« There, I Fixed It | Main | It Came From the Baby Shower... »

Reader Comments (160)

i like the skyline in the 'book' example.
i used to spend part of the time Mum was grocery shopping looking at that book of pictures when i was little. i'd pick out which one i would order or make. we never bought cakes like that because Mum's are infinitely better. but i liked the licensed characters.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeautifulmonday

Oh my...that's all I can muster at this point.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren B.

I think we should be glad that at least the decorator did not try to recreate the puff of exhaust coming out of the car.

That being said (and having just woken up) I had to stare at the lemon-tart slugs for a long time before I realised they were supposed to be lines in the road. Supposed.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJael

i hope all that food coloring didn't make it taste nasty.

that makes me sad. and angry. some people have no pride in their work. that wasn't even a difficult design!
....not even a "boff!" or a "pow!"
sigh.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjulia

Why is Batman doing the Hitler salute in these pictures? It seems a bit out of character for him. But so does standing still, ankle deep in icing, while injustices like that horrible cake go unpunished!

Josh

http://thedmt.blogspot.com

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJosh (the DMT

The really dark night?

Banana slugs!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

Ohhhh myyyyy....

*averting eyes*

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That is... an intriguing interpretation. :-O

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Highwater

How bizarre. The first one doesn't even look that hard to do, really. It's like the decorator didn't even try.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWildroses

The cake is definitely a wreck, but I'm stuck on Batman's pose. You can almost hear him say, "Stop, evildoer! Put down that airbrush gun!"

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

That's just horrible. I hope the wreckreator had a good excuse for that... like she/he was drunk. Or blind.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

wow, that is awful. I wouldn't have accepted that monstrosity!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

that's a disgusting yellow

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

It does look a bit like the Jokers face......

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, and the nuclear moon! Can't forget that!

Honestly, looking at the first cake, I knew that airbrushing was way beyond your average wreckerator's skills. Yet, that particular wreckerator still managed to amaze me. What another glorious example of wreckitude!

Wreck on, Batman.

(WV: mustsi: you really mustsi this one to believe it!)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

The Wreck really Schumackered it up!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Getts

As a child in South Africa we would express sarcastic sympathy by saying "my heart bleeds lumpy custard for you". All I can see on this cake is lumpy custard. mmmmmmm.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good GRIEF!!!!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

There's no words. None. Poor Jackson. (I think it's supposed to be Jackson, right?) (deep and heavy sigh)

WV- prizess - That cake will not win any prizess, preciousss.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

At least the toys are the same, right? Right? If you squint your eyes and turn your head sideways the cake could work... errr, maybe not, actually.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

That is just so bad!!! I guess the only reason she accepted and paid for it is so she could send a picture of the WRECK onto you. =)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AhhhHahahaha...that cake should come with a sound byte from the Joker himself...

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

Oh my goodness! I wouldn't have even taken that from the bakery! That looks utterly disgusting! Especially the slimy slugs... gag.

Poor Jackson. Poor Naomi!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

Before I started making my kids' birthday cakes, I let them choose the design from the book. Their decision was always based on what toys they would be licking icing off of. Thanksfully, they turned out like the design in the book and not like this mess! Yet another reason I'm glad I make the cakes now and am not tempting fate anymore!

mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

How did they mess up the dividing lines of the street? With a doughnut creme filler thing?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Greggs

Well, it's better than I'd be able to do. But then, I don't work in a Safeway claiming to be "professional" either.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Disgusting! Did they actually have to pay for that?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mmmmmm, great cake for anyone on a diet. Not only does it deter you from having a slice of cake, it may make you lose your lunch.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKnitty

i have no words. . . and i always do.
*L

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLuica

I couldn't see past the slugs. *urp*
Gross

Becky

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i have no words. . . and i always do.
*L

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

OH
MY
GOD!
I am truly dumbfounded!

Meow!
http://www.kitty-cakes.blogspot.com

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterROYALTY

Wow.. the site of those "slugs" nearly made me lose my breakfast. Poor Jackson..

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfamousamy

This has to be a fake (they kept the toys from the original cake and remade a bad one). Who in their right mind would accept a cake that looked like THIS?? EVERYTHING is wrong with it!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersdreader

You gotta wonder sometimes. Taxi...that's classic.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The toys are the same? In the second photo, it looks more like Batman is making an (appropriate) WTF gesture, rather than hailing a cab. Got to love the three pupae on the bottom of the cake though, what are those supposed to be?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSam Posnick

@Alex Getts
That's hilarious. "The Wreck really Schumackered it up!"
Brilliant.

Yes I had to double check the slugs to see what they were supposed to really be. It's pretty scary when road markings change like that without warning. Puts a whole new meaning on 'tip' size.
Cheers

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

Oh my gawd was all I could mutter under my breath.

My first thought was why are there little yellow poops on the bottom of that cake?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

My 11 year old daughter (also a cakewrecks fan) looked at the blobs on the left bottom and said, "What IS that?!?!" I said, "Mayonnaise?"

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMMCQuarterback

I was going to say that at least the decorator remembered the 3 road stripes, but then I read the whole slug description and ruined my appetite...

W.V. Coragria: The Coragria Slug is a precocious little devil, sometimes refered to as the "butter bug" this little guy is often attracted to sugary sweet substances and watching super-hero movies...

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

What the...?!?!??!
Those globs of eeriely greenish yellow slimey icing...looks like something a nurse in an OB office would have to clean up after a hooker got an exam.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

I love how if you look closely you can tell that the Wreckerator was actually *trying* to re-create the scene from the book...

The brown stripe with yellow slugs is supposed to be the road and dividing stripes.
The black green blob-stripe is the buildings, sort of.
The orange spot in the top left corner is trying to be the sun.
And then the blue blob is sky.

It's kinda like those Magic Eye pictures, just keep squinting, you'll see it eventually. :)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

That is downright offensive. That's not lack of skill, it's lack of trying.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacintha

OMG!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamaran

The slugs! The slugs!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

In all honesty, the "original" isn't much to look at, either. But it doesn't have yellow roadkill!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Accidental Parisian

Yuck!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCr4zySAHMandArmywife

Ooooh... lines in the road... thanks previous posters for clearing that up for me. I could not for the life of me imagine what Batman character flung slugs.

wv: sluggo. Seriously.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

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