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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul152009

"Baby" Showers

Some cakes make you wonder what species of baby is being welcomed into the world:

"Extra, extra! Read all about it! Swamp Thing procreates!
Becomes spokesperson for cloth diapers!"


I think this is a monkey.

[German accent] "Wouldst you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! LOVE HIM!!"

And finally, we have our mutant flippered pig-child of perpetual worry:

Or maybe that's pain; it probably hurts to be skewered through the hand with a rose stem.

Kimberly L, Erin G., & Justin E., now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.


- Related Wreckage: Fetal Bites

« Hello, Kitty? | Main | Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat? »

Reader Comments (139)

What’s up with the second one’s bowtie? Did they realize they monkey’d it up and wanted to add some class?
And I think the words are in L33T speak. “IT’5 A B04?”

myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Maybe "Tristan" is the name of a new species, and a baby Tristan is on the way!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

honestly, after seeing these, i'd take a baby bump cake (sans boobs) any day!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

The "Monkey" cake looks a little like MAD's Alfred E. Neuman.

Bonnie

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbellefs1

Mutant flippered pig-child cake reminds me just a bit of the Montauk Monster...

And I think one of my brothers was born green.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

Good thing ET is phoning home first before they get a load of him in that kinky diaper-fetish drag costume.

CCC ftw. Can I get an amen?

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Did people pay for these?

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

Isn't there a form letter that can be sent to bakeries saying something to the effect of "DON'T DO THIS. The customer isn't always right."?
I'll take my cake unfrosted, please. (But I'll keep reading Cake Wrecks.)

WV mismoder It is a serious mismoder to decorate cakes like this.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

And to think, I was planning on a cake more like Baby James' for a baby shower next month. Maybe the monkey would be better!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKath

Ya know, Swamp Thing IS an environmentalist.... being the spokesthing for cloth diapers makes perfect sense. I's still feel a little squicky about eating his baby, though....

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCecile

The second one's not a monkey, that's just how a baby looks fresh out of the chute. It's preparation for the moment in dessert form.

verification: recel - attempting to still profit from a wreck by putting it out on the

#1 is a baby frog, natch. It won't need diapers because it'll just stay in the water. (Yes, I know a baby frog is really a tadpole. work with me n stuff.)

#2 does NOT make me want to touch the monkey. Especially considering that it has had collagen lip injections, which I always find disturbing.

#3 is a little young to be wearing all that makeup. good lord.

VW: bledne
My eyes bledne when I saw the green baby.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I think the monkey one is actually kind of cute.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlilmrsmchenry

I can't decide which is more frightening -- Swamp Baby or the deformed baby (is that a CCC?)

Coincidentally, I have a baby shower to go to today. This does not bode well.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLel

That monkey (?) cake is just about the most disturbing thing I've seen on this site...

wv: doldedin The opposite of doled out. "Everyone doldedin their photos of horrible cakes to make sure Cakewrecks had plenty to post."

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonique in TX

lol!! What were they thinking with the mutant baby! Oh dear....

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVintageSunshine

Wish there were pictures of the poor mother's reactions when presented with these cakes at their showers. Ugh.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

Mutant cakes probably still taste good. And that's about all I can say for those guys.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Oh, good god, that last one! My eyes!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

Hahaha I LOVE your pop-culture references on here! (For all those lame people who haven't watched SNL, GET WITH IT) :)

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Haven't these people ever heard of nekkid mohawk baby carrot jockeys?? THAT is the perfect baby cake!

Come on, people!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie

Well, maybe the first one was for a new frog baby? Froglet? Not sure, but it can't be a human baby...

The second one reminds me of that Bloodhound Gang video for Bad Touch - not something to associate with a newborn!

And the third - holy cow, I don't even know what to say. Is it a platypus?

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Wow. I thought we'd seen it all when it came to baby cakes, but these are truly horrid. Oh my.

http://novicewriterchronicles.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">Novice Writer Anonymous

word verification: glytoc= Swamp Thing's first word to his new baby.

Isn't the green one a muppet? Grover's second cousin, maybe?

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

Honestly, the first one sort of looks like a mutant Muppet... or a Sesame Street character with a skin problem.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfaradayflux

The first one is obviously a Whammy-Swamp Monster love child!
http://whynottri.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/whammy.jpg

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

That baby has HAND feet. Or one heavy frosting load in that diaper.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Wow, these make the baby bum cakes look like a great idea. Never thought I'd say this.

I'd also like to see the reactions of the mothers-to-be / new mothers. There must have been some good ones, especially with the hormones raging.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh my! That just made my day!!! Despite how well 'crafted' that monkey looks, BWAHHHHH!!! It's a little freekish!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna

Dear GOD those are heinous! (The "Sprockets" ref was great, tho'...)

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterp jane

Touch my monkey!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHope

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

Good times! I am throwing a baby shower next month. I am doing cupcakes...it would be funnier if I had made that decision after seeing these wrecks.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

OMG! What in the world would make someone look at a batch of cupcakes and say "I could totally make a baby out of that!"? Frightening!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wonder if perhaps the monkey cake didn't start out as a monkey but once they added those giant freakin' ears they decided to go ahead and pipe on some fur...

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

The last baby's expression Jen...that's not perpetual worry...no...It's just gas :D

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

That can't possibly be a monkey, it is Chaka from Land of the Lost ;)

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermuddypebbles

Liebe meine abschminke!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

The last one is going to haunt my nightmares tonight. It reminds me of bad 80's horror movies. (Chuckie, Master of Puppets, etc)

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

What, no mention of Elphaba from the musical Wicked for the green baby?

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

The first one's diaper blends in with the background. Looks like the baby's legs are detached.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Meconium icing - no thanks.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

My baby! Someone save my baby!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear God, those are truly frightening.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAunt of 14

That monkey... er sorry, - make that 'monkey'... looks like it has a Furby or two in its ancestry

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Dieter quote for the win!!!!!!

Jenn

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjenncgf

OMIGOD!! WHAT kind of mutant babies are people giving birth to these days??? Green diapered frog-babies? Bowtie monkey-babies? I don't even know what to call that last one -- "The Cupcake Cake Baby from Hell" maybe? Oh poor, poor Lily!!

Good grief!! And these cakes are supposed to be for celebrations?

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one obviously didn't wait until after birth to expel his meconium... that's a serious medical problem, potentially harmful to the baby if he breathes it in.

Gross, dude.

Maybe it's because I'm almost due to have my own baby, that these cakes made me laugh out loud this morning! I just hope my sisters don't see these and get any ideas!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Wowie...um...gross.

The alien is somewhat cute. A little. As cute as an alien with a hovering diaper pin/diaper pin belly button accessory can be.

WV:dedeit - that last cake is a little dedeit.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

First a FotC reference and now a Dieter one!?

/gets on her hands and knees "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"

Thank you for making me laugh every day!

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPoogie

That last one must be the offspring of the pig man Kramer tried rescuing from the hospital.

Those baby reproductions are enough to scare the living daylights out of any childless woman attending the baby shower from ever having you-know-what again.

July 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

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