Ghost Taunters

"Hello and welcome to Ghost Investigator Dudes. I'm Brad Johnson, a frat boy jock who isn't afraid of ANYTHING and enjoys taunting the afterlife by yelling challenges into empty cellars.

"With me are Joey..."

"Yo!"

"...and Mike."

"Yo!"

"Today we're here at the old Chattanooga asylum, where, like, a bunch of people died 'n stuff and we're totally gonna lock ourselves in all night and see what happens and film everything with shaky pocket infrared cameras and bad sound equipment.

"Awright, let's get started! So we're going down to the dungeons to...

"WHOA!!! Something touched me! Dude! Did you get that on camera?!?"

"No."

"Aw, dude."

(Geeet oooouuuut!!)

"Righteous. So, like, now we're going down into the kitchens where they kille..."

"WHOA!!! Did you see that?"

"No." "There! In the corner! Were you filming?"

"Sorry, man, no - but I did feel a little cold just then."

"Duuude."

(No seeeeeriously. Geeeet oooouuuut!!!)

"Shyah. That was, like, almost totally spiritual. So, check it! The caretaker here says there's this dog? That's like a ghost? That haunts the library and kills people? So we should totally go there."

"Whoa!"

*beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep*

"Did you *beeeep*'n see that?!?"

[camera swinging wildly, sound of scuffling feet]

*beeeeep*

"Dude, tell me you got that on tape!!"

"Sorry, bra. It was pointed at the floor."

"Whoa."

(I kill you!!)

"Ok, so, like, there's a wedding chapel in this asylum that's, like, totally haunted, right? And a bunch of people died there last week so, like, let's turn off all our lights and point our cameras at the floor."

[girlish shriek]

"DUDE! I saw something move!"

"Something walked by me!!"

"Someone's massaging my shoulders!!!"

(Well, hello there.)

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Thanks to Emily L., Jessica L., Leslie H., Urvashi, & Tama, but we still don't know what happened to André.

*****

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Yes, Bakers, You CAN Be Creepy!!

Here's something I never understand: every Halloween, the one time when bakeries are SUPPOSED to make scary and/or disturbing cakes, suddenly THIS is their idea of creepy:

Whoa. Hide your kids.

Meanwhile, every OTHER time of the year, bakeries are doing this:

And this:

And this:

(PLEASE tell me there are some Supernatural fans out there seeing what I'm seeing.)

Then there's Christmas:

And Easter:

And the Fourth of July:

And Easter:

And Valentine's Day:

And also Easter...

Seriously. What is it with Easter?!

Look, bakers, clearly you have the ability to make cakes creepy; the trick is to just not aim for it.

That's right: stop trying to scare us altogether.

And instead, just make us a niiiice clown cake.

THERE IT IS.

Thanks to Sarah A., Hayley H., Katherine M., Jo D., Korrie G., Jenn B., Elizabeth M., Jessica M., Abbey M., Nell H., & Erin R. for scaring John so much he refuses to look at that photo again.

*****

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