A Cake Wrecks Salute

Today we salute you, Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckerator.

[singing] "Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake WreckoRAAATor!"

Yes, in a sea of national complacency, you are the one shining beacon of truth, justice, and proper icing depictions of the American flag:

"Hey, Betsy Ross would be pro-oud!"

And when it comes to the star placement on those flags. you don't let petty things like "perspective" or "scale" get in your way:

"Ooooh, I think you need a few mo-ore!"

Yes, no other cake decorator loves this country quite the way you do, or has our sacred borders drawn on their hearts in quite the same way:

"At least you got Florida!"

So here's to you, Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag. Because without you, tinsel and airbrushing and cliched eagle photos would never end up on Cake Wrecks, where we all know they belong:

"Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckeraaaaa-tor!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Danae H., Kate B., Scott W., & Emily J., who are clearly more patriotic than you are.

- Related Wreckage: Somewhere in Kabul, there is an Italian bakery

Tassel Hassles

Hey, look! Amber went back to school!

Looks like her folks are still using the same bakery, though. (Piles of dead leaves are such a "hassel", aren't they?)

This next Wreck sees Amber's "hassel", and raises it a "taffle":

If only it had been in quotes - "taffle" would leave so much more romper-room for the imagination, don't you think?

Speaking of lots of room, Courtney M. asked the bakery for a Star Wars graduation cake, and this is what she got:

Well, Courtney, there is a lot of space...in space. So, you know, it could be a metaphor.

Where some Wreckerators call it a day after a lime-headed Yoda and a plastic grad cap, though, others keep going, and going, and...

...going.

'Scuse me, Mr. or Ms. Wreckerator, but I think you missed a spot. Could you cram a few more "09"s on the top? Oh, and while I have you here, a few questions:

1) What are you congratulating math for?
2) Does that inscription really say "this book is for smart people only please donoot atemple to open if you are not smart"?

It does? Ok, then my next question is...

3) For the love of crossed-out-but-not-corrected spelling errors, why? I mean, wouldn't only the really dumb people try to open a cake that only resembles a book in that it is somewhat flat and rectangular? Or am I over thinking this? (Don't answer that, Wreckies; I'm talking to the decorator here.)

Jess K's mom ordered a graduation cake for her brother. To keep it simple, she asked for the cake to read "Woo-hoo Tommy!" Instead, she got:

Unintentionally appropriate with a side of sneering sarcasm. I like it.

Sabrina S., Jess G., & Maureen, you each get a gold star beside your name on my monitor. (Granted, this may make typing a little more diggifult, but fortunetly I learned to typr by touch.)