Cakes Only A Mother Could Love

I think the following cakes are really special. Like seeing a beautiful newborn for the first time, these baby shower cakes leave me… well, speechless.

What a coincidence! E.T. was on my TV today, too!

Ethan... phone home...
(and tell your parents Jersey Shore called. They want their tan back.)

"Hi, bakery? I have a baby shower coming up. Do you make cupcakes?"

"Baby shower CUP cakes? Yeah. We can 'handle' that."

If you squint your eyes, it’s actually not a baby at all, but a bronzed, muscular man in a tank top popping out of the cup. See it? See it? Let’s call him Joe. He must be posing for his mug-shot. Just look at those eyes! He really knows how to espresso himself, doesn't he?

Thanks to Dawn M. for finding these little bundles of joy. It's been a latte fun!

- Related wreckage: The Creepiness Continues

Holy Smokes!

I should probably filter what I say here, but when I'm craving some delicious cake, nothing matches the taste of an ashtray full of cigarette butts:

Mmmm.

Say, if the decorator got rid of just one of those smokes, would the cake then be a cigarette lighter? {{groan}}

Can't bear the thought of chomping on butts? Then why not chew on this mouth-watering tobacco can instead?

Or if that bear is too ferocious for ya, we can always replace it with a cute little donkey:

(See, the bear's head is the donkey ears, and the front leg is his head. See it? He's just reaching down to enjoy some delicious wintergreen grass. Eh? Right? Who's with me, here?)

Moving on...

Look, guys, just because her name is Ashley doesn't mean this is necessary:

(Maybe it was a gift from her friends CHARlie, TARa, and PIPEr.)

Plus, why a cigarette cake when Ashley has never even had a cigarette before?
At least I'm guessing she hasn't, since that would have been illegal. And no one smokes before they're legally permitted to - right, Ashley? Right?

Making Turkish cigarette cakes must be a real drag:

Loosely translated, "Sigara icmek omru azaltir" means, "Quitting cigarette-themed display cakes greatly reduces loss of customers."

Daniella T., Renee G., Julie M., Courtney M., & Mark B., you guys are a breath of fresh air.

- Related wreckage: Proper Grooming

NOTE FROM JEN: Who is Number1? She's my new Jen-clone. Yep. She's just like me, only smarter, cuter, and gosh darn it, a wee bit funnier. I've strong-armed her into doing a few guest posts from time to time, so y'all be nice to "the new Jen" while she gets her feet wet around here. (After that, though, she's fair game. Mwahahahah!)