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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug062009

Old Time Wreck 'n Roll

For decades now mankind has been left to wonder: Just where did the first Cake Wreck come from? We may never have the definitive answer (outside of "42", of course) but an historic find has recently been unearthed in the area of Gilbert, Arizona, that may shed some light on this weighty issue.

I give you, Magic in Frosting!

Breathtaking, isn't it? This artifact, discovered by Luz G. of Beautiful Impermanence, is believed to date back to the "free love" era of the 1960s, when the word "magic" was interchangeable with the names of many and varied forms of hallucinogenic drugs. Coincidence?

I think not.

Especially when you consider that the author claims to be the original creator of the Smashed Pink Elephant cake here. [arching eyebrow] Highly suspicious.

Regardless, this priceless find demonstrates some truly remarkable feats that our ancestors were able to achieve using nothing more than buttercream, a few simple tools, and the belief that any woman who plays tennis is a low-browed neanderthal with a thyroid problem.

Further evidence of the decade's inebriation includes this lovely (not to mention leggy) specimen:

The "Merry-Go-Round of Bisected Ballerinas" was a popular party motif during the summer of '67.

And lastly, here's a delightful reminder of simpler times - when the hair was long, the skirts were short, and first-degree murder was a "groovy" party theme:

(Note the smoking gun and perfectly-piped pool of blood. Such accuracy! Such talent!)

So, where do modern-day Wrecks come from? Well, in light of these examples I believe there can be only one conclusion: they're made by the people who got these cakes as children.


- Related Wreckage: LIFE Wrecks

Wednesday
Aug052009

Rooby Dooby DOOO!!!

I'm all for cartoon nostalgia, but these Scooby Snacks are enough to make anyone go "Zoink!!"

It's Ok, Melanie X: pull that mask off and you'll find he's just a harmless - if somewhat crotchety - old guy.

This one's fun: at first, sure, you see Scooby with what appears to be an escaping bird in his cheek. But, look at it long enough, and you may start to see what I'm seeing: a side profile where that "cheek" is a nose. Eh? See it? Anyone? Anyone?

Phfft, you guys have no imagination. Well, Kellie J., you can still enjoy the levitating mini-bone and "tail" sprouting from his "fingers", right?

And finally, class, take out your #2 pencils, because "How To Draw Scary Scooby 101" is now in session:

1. Keep your audience guessing. ("I'm telling you, he's looking at me.")

2. Forget "ear to ear": Grinning should always be "eye to nose."

3. One can never have too many lips.

4. When in doubt, draw more lines. ("See? Now the left eye makes sense.")

Thanks for the lesson, Mel M.!

- Related Wreckage: "And In the Mornin', I'm Making WAFFLES."