Mmmm, Crunchy!

Hey, kids! Do you know what day it is?!

It's Chocolate Covered Anything Day!

[Kermit flail]

YAAAAAAAY!

Yep, today is the day when you can take anything and everything and cover it in CHOCOLATE!!!

And you thought chocolate-covered bacon was awesome.

Caught a fish on your camping trip?

Cover it in chocolate!

Wolf Spider crawling on you in the middle of the night?

COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE.

There's literally no end to the things you can cover in chocolate!

Right, guys?

Ew.

Um...

Hang on.

Dipped or sculpted?

[grabbing baker by lapels]

DIPPED OR SCULPTED?!

Well, whichever it is, you're going to larva this one:

*hurk*

 Okay, seriously. Japan? We need to talk.

[putting arm around Japan]

Look, I get it. You're fun! You're kooky! Hello Kitty and tentacles and all that. But chocolate covered beetles? Really? Is that even a thing?

It is?

*sigh*

Well, could you at least make them a little less creepy?

Apparently not.

Thanks to Kristina M., Cattie P., Jessica C., Amy M., & D.L., who will never look at that chocolate fountain in Golden Corral the same way again.

 ---------------------------------------

Quick Note: Hiya, guys.  Here at Cake Wrecks, we have right at 600,000 regular visitors.  I've met a lot of you, and I can say with some authority that you are all awesome. Seriously.  

So we're doing this Charity Countdown thing, and we're trying to raise five grand for 8 pretty cool charities. That means, if my math is right, that one out of 600 readers would have to give a buck a day for 8 days and we'd meet our goal.  

One person out of 600.  8 bucks total.  A frozen lasagna is 8 bucks. 

So.  Be the one.  Go here and do it.  It'll make you feel good, and that little will help someone a lot.

And thanks for being awesome.

 - john (the hubby of Jen)

Ho Ho Homicides

We interrupt your daily web browsing to bring you this SPECIAL REPORT.

A pastry butcher is on the loose and rampaging through our nation's bakeries. Let's go straight to the scene of the latest crime:

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIE!!"

Er... ok, maybe we should just run some B roll instead.

Let's take a look at some of the pastry punisher's previous victims:

[wincing] Ouch. That's cold, man. Ice cold.

Yes, this cake crushing criminal is no respecter of Christmas celebrities. Why, poor Rudolph was found stunned like a common 'deer in the headlights:

And gingerbread Mr. Bill learned exactly how the cookie crumbles:

"Ohhh nooooo!"

Most chilling, however, is the spreading string of serial Santa slayings.

Yes, this callous Kringle killer is out to collect some serious coal this year.

It seems that each fearful face-off leaves Father C. face down.

Talk about a knife in the back: Santa just got served.

With a heaping helping of childhood trauma on the side.

Suspects are limited, but bystanders report spotting a suspicious character lurking around the cupcakes:

So, if you see a murderous tableau in the cake aisle, then please, contact your local bakery authorities immediately...

...and ask them to stop making dead Christmas character cakes.

Thanks to Jessica L., Misty M., Kelly J., Rebecca M., Jim F., Anna M., Rachel M., & Monica D. for the killer treats.