Pumpkin Eaters

Remember, kids, cheaters never prosper.

Unless they work at a bakery.

Cheater.

See, the way bakeries see it, replacing a talented baker with giant bits of plastic flotsam a trained monkey could use is good for the bottom line.

Well, until the trained monkey forgets which one is the "bottom:"

I weep for our future.

Still, imagine how crappy this cake would look without the plastic:

Haha! Just kidding.

You really don't have to imagine it.

("Whoo? Whooo poooped?")

Yessir, decorating with icing is just plain overrated. Giant rubber bands, on the other hand, were on sale yesterday:

(What, no snappy comeback?)

(HEYO!)

The most cost-effective bakeries know that technically this qualifies as a "Nascar cake."

So fork over your $34.99 and deal, lady.

Also cost-effective? Shaking out the empty Oreo trays and calling it "garnish:"

Not to mention the broken "snow" plaque and single squirt of green icing are truly inspiring, in a post-modern, pre-vomit kind of way.

Although, really, who needs writing or Oreo dust or even colored icing when you've got lots and LOTS of choking hazards?

Go on, pull the other one.

(I'm currently having flashbacks to the midnight vet run when my cat had a pull string - if you catch my drift. And for some reason that's just not making me hungry.)

Still, don't let 'em get you down, cake consumers! Just put on a happy face, and...er...

Oh, never mind. We're doomed.

Thanks to Steven S., Sara S., M.K., Linda T., Shawn T., Ami S., Elyse M., & Gopi F. for reminding us that, no matter how ugly these are, at least they haven't been peed on.

Sunday Sweets: Anything Goes

 Every once in a while Jen will ask me to write a Sunday Sweets post, and some creative spark will burst forth from my soul like a wellspring of inspirational inspiration that inspires me.

Unfortunately, this isn't one of those times.

However, since no Sunday Sweets would be complete without a compelling and intriguing theme, today's theme is:

"The First Ten Cakes In Our Sunday Sweets Library!"

Begin!

Submitted by Allison S.
Spotted at the 2011 Connecticut Cake Competition; baker unknown. Photography by Nick Caito of CTNow.

Aaand naturally, it's pillows.

I'm having a hard time believing those are actually cake. I'm also getting all nostalgic for my grandmother's house and her groovy, plastic-covered, 70's-style mustard-yellow couch.

And now, a graceful segue into...

FOOTBALL!

By Cakes By Suzy

*grunt*

Why do football mascots always have to be so menacing? Why not go with something like the Florida Bunny Rabbits? They could even have 'uge pointy teeth!

Also, Googling "Bunnies wearing Gator's jerseys," doesn't give you many rabbit pictures, IF ya know whadda mean.

Ah, now we're rollin':

By Theresa Gue

True story: I once lost a $100 at a craps table playing with someone who "knew how to win." It was not $100 worth of fun. I haven't gambled since. (Well, unless you count that "house special" triple taco meal the other night.)

This next cake is a fish:

By Cake Or Death

Cakes like this make me wonder what the ordering process was like. Did they ask for a really sad fish cake? Why did they order a really sad fish cake? Who had to cut the really sad fish cake? It's all just so sad.

But you know what's never sad?

Submitted by Janie S. and made by Andrea SweetCakes

 Fondant candles and pastel bows and sugar cherries on top, that's what.

And now for something completely different:

Submitted by Kara and made by Roxycakes

Allow me to explain the logic here are Cake Wrecks:

- If a wedding cake is made to look like cheese, it's a Sweet.

- If a wedding cake is actually cheese, it's a Wreck.

Glad we cleared that up.

Moving on to an elegant cityscape:

Submitted by David W. and made by Gateaux

This is the Minneapolis skyline, and I'm digging that recessed lighting. Also, this is actually the second cake from David and Jaime's wedding, the first being the big box o' candy we posted a while back.Which makes me want to marry Jen again so we can have two awesome wedding cakes. (Although even one would be pretty sweet.)

This next cake reminds me of quilling or paper filigree:

Made by Wedding Cake Art

Pretty! And I swear I bought a Ralph Lauren fabric with that exact pattern for some pillows Jen and I made a few years ago.

And yes, Jen and I obviously do too many crafts together. So sue me.

Okay, you ready for some adorableness?

By Rouvelee's Creations

D'awwwwww. Lookit the little bow-tied elephant with the dots and the stripes and the pretty piping.  I'm just... I need a moment.

[collecting self]

And finally, the piece of resistance, the cream of the cream, the "shizzle," so to speak:

Submitted by Steph M. and made by Rainbow Sugar Craft

Minas Tirith. Because all Sunday Sweets posts should include at least one Lord of the Rings cake. (Speaking of which, have you seen Peter Jackson's latest vlog from the set of The Hobbit? So. Exciting.)

Thanks for letting me ramble today. And remember, if you have a Sweet to submit, even if it's your own creation, send it to sundaysweets(at)cakewrecks(dot)com.