Creepy Poetry Counts, Too
February 20, 2019 Hey, it's National Haiku Writing Month! John! Quick! GET ME THE CREEPIEST CAKES YOU CAN FIND!
[shuffling virtual photographs]
Right.
LET'S DO THIS.
;)
still life of swift death
or delicious iced dessert
cooler heads prevail
;)
buttercream bunions
metaphoric masterpiece
wedding with cold feet
;)
expressive beach tree
dawning realization
calls for a face palm
;)
The hottest new trend:
flaming baby shower cakes
Welcome to hell, B.
;)
Down where it's wetter
Clearly not all that better
Ariel impaled
;)
drowning our sorrows
won't call for giant tampons
and please hold the jam
;)
From 'death do us part'
to avant-garde home decor
Rough divorce, Carol?
Thanks to Karin K., Kate J., Charlene L., Stephanie S., Kristen O., Evelyn D., & Myra F. for making us all count on our fingers. (Admit it; you totally did!)
*****
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Reader Comments (28)
Wtaf?
Awesome job Jen! I had to hurk a couple of times, but on CakeWrecks that just means the wrecks are really bad. I mean good.
1) Looks like Rocky turned gangster and put Bullwinkle on ice.
2) I don't know what heel made this, or who had to foot the bill for it, but someone should call a toe truck and haul these out of here. And while they're at it, they should sing with some sole.
3) Impaled ectoplasm, anyone?
4) Burn, baby, burn!
5) Maybe this was the only way she could keep her algae bra on.
6) Jack went up the beanstalk and THIS is what he came down with?
7) From how far up did she fall on him to flatten him like this?
Brilliant. Just .... sniff, sniff... brilliant... You guys are geniuses.
This. Is. Awesome! That is all.
Please tell me those foot cakes were for a podiatrist convention and not for a wedding. Actually, I'm not sure that would make it any better.
Expressive beach tree
“The Princess Bride” comes to mind:
Dear God what is that thing?!
...When did Flounder become a pig-fish?
Jen, this is one of your cleverest posts ever!
At first I thought Ariel was dribbling vomit.
Well Done!! LMAO over here!!
Clever poems Jen!
So wish the cakes were as good!
But fails make good posts!
There once was a wee Cake wrecks poet
Who was bad but at least now he knows it
For at the glad news
Of Jen's cake haikus
He wrote a limerick. He wasn't below it.
(Sadly, I didn't have time for anything like a real poem today. I will write something better tomorrow)
Since when is Miss Piggy doubling for Flounder?
Before I read the haiku, I thought the first cake was a deer relaxing in a hot tub...
I prefer my version.
When the other wrecks makes the CCC palm tree look good, it's a bad day for cake. But a great day for Cake Wrecks. Seriously what the heck is with that last one? There's vicious and then there's demented!
What did my eyes see?
What they cant ever bleach out.
Thanks so much sweet Jen!!!
Haiku Joy, where are you?
The feet are so creepy. Especially once you realize there are tiny baby feet included
Last cake: she must belong to the House of Bolton.
No but seriously, what happened to Haiku Joy? I really miss her!
I will take fire baby shower cakes over birthing baby shower cakes ANY day!
If you want it in sweet stuff cemented
That you are nothing short of demented
You create a gross cake
Then regret your mistake
That you hadn't the taste to prevent it
Oh my gosh!!! These aren’t just creepy, they’re disgusting (albeit some are rather well done). And what’s with the flames on the baby shower cake, Biker Babe’s baby shower?
I don't know what type of event calls for a tampon cake but at least it was well made.
I must be of an innocent mind today -- at first I thought the tampon cake was a sleeping bag rolled up into its carrying bag.
I too miss Haiku Joy!! But Jen's poems were great in this one!
Sitting at my desk
Looking at Cake Wrecks -- not work--
I could bake bad cakes.
This is an awesome post! You are on fire! Just like B's cake!
I nearly died laughing at that huge tampon cake. At least I think that's what that was supposed to be and if it's for someones first period I would laugh even harder as it is I can't even stop laughing long enough to type this lol.