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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb172017

Friday Favs 2/17/17

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

Ever get the feeling something's missing?

Like the second cake Jessie ordered?

Or any semblance of reading comprehension?

 

LEGO Batman is all the rage right now, so here:

...something to rage over.

(Or maybe sh** a brick? I'll show myself out.)

 

And finally, when you ask for "The Cake Is Not A Lie," (a classic Portal reference) and get what I'm pretty sure is the creepiest thing I've ever read:

Just keep telling yourself that.

 

While you wrestle with that nightmare fuel...

...appropriate Portal song is appropriate:

(If you're super confused right now, play the game. Trust me. It's amazing.)

 

Thanks to Jessie A., Jeff E., & David E. for the most perfect song setup of all time. This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: "HUGE SUCCESS."

*****

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Reader Comments (25)

LOVE THAT SONG!!! (And I don't know a damn thing about the game.)

Thank you on 1st, Congratulations on 2nd, I don't know on 3rd.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wouldn't "The cake IS alive" be even creepier?

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTiggy

"The cake is not alive" Hahahahahaha!!! Best caption of 2017!

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

SuBee for the win! Brilliant my friend, love it! Let us not forget "I don't care - shortstop".
It's obvious these bakers don't. :)

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Just think: Portal turns 10 this year.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I thought that first cake was for a baseball player!

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenteriMark

Actually, the cake is an alternative fact. *snicker*

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLadybugFaerie

"huuuugge success" Bwahahahahahah!

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJudy Beth

A living cake wouldn't be scary...Tiggy but it could be dangerous.

https://youtu.be/Q4e8YcW7jGw?t=1m20s

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

I get a huge kick out of the Lego Batman cake! Was it specially ordered as such, or was it just randomly in the display case, trying to lure in excited five-year-olds who don't know better?

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

#1 @SuBee is the winner on this one. Classic!

#2 If I didn't know it was "Batman Lego", I'd think it was the face of a wolf. Maybe it's a baker's version of the Rorschach ink blot test. Also - I have not played with *legoes* in many years (I assume that's the plural of lego), but what happens when you snap another lego to it? Wouldn't the lego logo be gone-o?

#3 Baker to his or her friend: "Some people's cake requests are sooo strange..."

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Might I hear the song at LOW quality, please?
It was just a tad twangy, or something I couldn't quite put my finger on....and I'm still alive, as well. Not a "YUGE" anything.....
=^~.~^= .... logo my leggo?

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think that "The Cake Is Alive" to the tune of Saturday Night Fever song "Stayin' Alive" would be better. Sorry, I'm from that generation; I don't get the portal thing. Stayin' Aliiiiiiiiiive! Go John Travolta!

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJacki

Sing along with me -- nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nuh uh! That is about the worst Batman logo seen to date.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

What is with that Lego Batman cake? It looks like something crawled to the center and died, and those yellow plops of ... oh, never mind.

SuBee For The Win!

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Another possible explanation for cake #3 is that the decorator is a fan of the surrealist Magritte. One of his paintings is a pipe and the caption "This is not a pipe".

If you are unfamilar with his work, please check it out. Warning, some are very very far from being safe for work. Others are.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnna A

The Cake is not Alive with the huuuge strawberries could be a reference to the podcast "Infinite Monkey Cage" from the BBC with Professor Brian Cox, Robin Ince, and various other people. They talk about many different science related topics, and there was an episode where the question of whether or not a strawberry that had been plucked from the plant was alive or not. It has become an ongoing joke on the podcast. If you are interested, even the slightest bit, in science, look up the podcast, it's brilliant.

February 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I hope the cake isn't alive lol. I would hate to imagine anyone receiving a cake that shrieked if you cut into it though at Halloween I could see that happening and eeeeek lol.

February 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

THANK YOU for "Still Alive." I am a huge Ellen MacLain/GlaDOS fan. I really wish they'd make a GlaDOs or Cave Johnson GPS voice. :)

February 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Hayden

Not only is the cake a lie but it's not even made with chocolate frosting!

Is that made on purpose because cake makers are tired of hearing about the stupid cake is a lie meme?

February 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Love that song! Can't wait to show my son this cake!

February 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterWifeyDear

@ Neeta
Actually, the company's official word is that LEGO is a modifier, not a noun. So they are "LEGO bricks" or "LEGO pieces", not "LEGOs".

And goodness...that cake reads like a hitman's reassurance, or perhaps a mad scientist's confection.

February 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Lego batman symbol...
...It looks like a...
...Uterus...?
o.0

February 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLuna

I would love a Cave Johnson GPS voice!

The cake has strawberries, so that's good, but shouldn't it have chocolate frosting?

And have you played the Turing Test? It isn't Portal, and it's not funny, but it's got room after room of puzzles. And it's got these things that can function as weighted companion cubes.

February 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I literally *just* listened to Still Alive ("Look at me talking when there's science to do") and I come here and *pow* more Portal!

February 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJustaTech

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