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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan272017

Friday Favs 1/27/17

A few of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

Would you believe there is a gross true story that goes along with this amputated foot cake?

Of course you would.

Well anyway, there is.

Moving on...

 

At first I thought this was a horse sinking belly-up into a dark pond:

In fact, if that was what the baker had been going for, right now I'd be saying, "Whoa that's bad... but at least you can tell what it is!" Then I'd have made the obligatory "never-ending trauma over Artax" joke and moved on.

But instead, here I am, saying, "HOW IS THAT A MOTORCYCLE?!" o.0

*****

 

This one tripped me up for a sec, too:

In fact, here's my exact thought process:

Hmmmm... Butterfly on a beach ball? With... maracas?

Ohh, wait, no, it's a belly cake. Of course. Because physically feasible proportions are for wusses!

Huh, but why is there a spiky hot dog between the boobs? And what ARE those teeny yellow spikes, anyway?

Hang on, and what's the fleshy hook thing attached to the boob? Oh wait... oh gosh... please tell me that's an arm. I'm having a rough morning. I need this.

Hey, I should totally transcribe this for the minions. They'd love it. Or question my sanity. But then, that ship sailed at least 8 years ago.

*****

 

This was served at an American military base overseas for Martin Luther King Day:

The Army FB page that originally posted it (that's their watermark, so no, "WTF" is not actually on the cake) questioned the decision-making behind those icing color choices, and I have to back them up there. It looks like a Freddie Mercury Easter egg sitting on a bag of flour. o.0

*****

 

Cheryl ordered a beach cake that read, "Happy Birthday to the Old Guys!"

Instead, she received a gift for every single one of us:

Please tell me I'm not the only one side-eyeing those "surf boards" SO HARD RIGHT NOW.

 

Thanks to Andrea G., Gisella, Joy E., Andrea P., & Cheryl J. for making waves.

*****

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Reader Comments (47)

Please! That "Harley" one is a frozen treat that should have had the "lick it" label on it instead. See? It says Motor CICLES.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Between the Freddie Mercury easter egg and the "old gays" I very nearly spit coffee on my monitor this morning.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentercatmania

Omg that last one..... My mind has been corrupted. 😂😂 As for the army cake, that had me going wtf?!??!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

What in the name of Titan was the thought process on that MLK cake? "Well, he was black, so we should make the cake black." Because, you know, matching frosting to skin color is a thing, apparently. <<smear, smear, smear>> "And we'll include a piped picture of him right here in this open spot. Oh. Wait. How do I...?" And we see the result in front of us. Sadly, I don't see the wonder that was Freddie Mercury. I see Ron Jeremy. 0^0

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

My first thought when I scrolled to the MLK cake was that it was supposed to be Elvis circa 1976.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

Hmmmm. Was the MLK kake made from a negative that wasn't?
=^-.-^= (Don't look at me; I'm just waiting for a Freddie.)

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I had to go Google motorcycles (H-D ones) to make sure I wasn't mistaken about what they looked like. Nope, *I'm* not the mistaken one, just the baker. I could see how the lump is supposed to be the gas tank, but what are the sticks???

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

It's OK, the 4th cake isn't for Dr King anyway. It's to "Remembe" the legacy of Dr Murtin Luthey King Jy.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJust fur kicks

the motorcycle cake took me a minute but I think i see what they were going for... a gas tank and handle bars... they just did it REALLY badly.

for the MLK cake, I looked at the watermark and was thinking it stood for "USA, WTF, man???" which is like totally appropriate!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

OMG! Is that foot cake a reference to Finders Keepers?!? One of the most WTF(oot)-inducing documentaries I've ever seen. Watched it twice, because Holy Roman Empire, Batman, they were fighting for custody of a foot. Everyone must watch it. Here's how I heard about it (thanks NPR!): http://www.npr.org/2015/09/24/442803625/two-men-one-foot-one-film-finders-keepers

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterZeaMiller

That first one is actually done quite well. It's obvious that the person who ordered it wanted exactly what she/he got and it was a huge inside joke. Is it gross? IMO, absolutely. But I wouldn't classify it as a wreck. That baker got some skillz!

I love old gays! They're the best kind of gays!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Excuse me, I believe it's motor-"cicles". I can't even.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

Your're not going to tell us the story of the foot cake, are you? *disappointment*

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJessica HZ

Love the sand (hair?) at the bottom of those surf boards. Can't unsee...Ugh.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSika6061

The second cake is a depiction of the Harley after the accident that caused the amputation shown in cake number one.

SO HARD RIGHT NOW, indeed!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The amputated foot cake. The cake is not a bad wreck, but don't give the baker any credit for the amputated leg and foot. It's not cake. I should know, I myself have one. Now before you go saying this Cookie be crazy, and you'd be right btw, I used mine as one of the props I had used while teaching an EMT/Medic class years ago. If Jen had been around with this site back then, why I would have made it outta cake, oh yummy! Not.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

"It looks like a Freddie Mercury Easter egg sitting on a bag of flour."

Never, in the history of ever, has an observation been quite so correct. Ever!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMrs_W

I think the MLK cake is Martin Luther King as played by Michael Jackson. Why not!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersandy g.

Freddie Mercury Easter egg, bahaha!

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShanan

I think the Murtin Luthey Jy cake looks more like a young Little Richard.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSue W..

What is that third cake really supposed to be? i can't figure it out :(

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterzzzz78759

Ok....now I'm BEGGING to know what the true-but-gross story is behind the "lick it" amputated foot/leg cake! When will you tell us the story?

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Cake #2 : what does it say down the middle of the gas tank, I assume?
Cake #3: is there a caterpillar up in the left top?
Cake #4: looks like Edger Allen Poe, that is not Mr MLK Jr at all

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

"Don't want a pickle
Just want to ride my motorcicle"

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFelix1140

I see 3 miss spelled words on that motor cycle cake...smh

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

I guess they were just excited to sell their knock off bikes from Harley Davison Motorcicles. Everybody knows that Harley Davidson doesn't use hockey sticks, they use only the finest lacrosse sticks for handle bars.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenah

*lol* - somehow for me the guy on the MLK cake looks more like Martin Luther the reformer than Martin Luther King...

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M

Pertaining to the Baby Belly

Oddly placed peppers
boobs oozing Guacamole
What were they thinking?

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Come on people. Martin Luthey King Jy is now deceased therefore he is depicted here as a ghost (white sheet body and all).

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

That ain't Freddy Mercury. THAT'S Ron Jeremy!! O.o

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

The first cake is actually well done for an amputated foot cake (there's a statement I never thought I'd make). I'm sure anyone who was familiar with the story behind it would find it amusing or fitting.

My question is: are the handlebars sticking out of that motorcycle cake actually hockey sticks? It honestly looks like the baker broke the end off of two hockey sticks and shoved them into the cake.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

I saw the king of pop and not Dr. king......

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJ'NaeNae

For those who think it's all cake, the actual Foot and Leg are plastic, by the way. They sell dozens of them around Hallowe'en (From July to November) at dollar stores.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I agree with Angie. That's a problem with the customer, not with the baker.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChris Staffa

Hmmm, I thought that Dr. Martin Luther King cake looked more Ron Jeremy than Freddie Mercury. (Assuming anyone has actually ever looked at Ron Jeremy's face).

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSophia

Quite an interesting collection this time. Here's the story - a person on the motor cicle was running away from the pregnant woman, had an accident trying to avoid the birthday party of old gay men and had his foot amputated. The ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. was nearby.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Well I see Shakespeare, not MLK.
Oh, and Harley Davison Motor Cicle! WTH?

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenteriMark

Guys! Guys! Easy...

Our Army can and is defending us against evil all over the world.

Nobody said that they could decorate cakes tho.


{Those surfboards...I don't blame the old gays if they are happy.]

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

I thought maybe the Harley cake is in French? So the words aren't spelled wrong, they just aren't in English.

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

So, when did motorcycles start growing hooves? Hoofs?

January 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I never thought a motorcycle could look like a dead horse before. Things wreckerators teach me every day make me shake my head and laugh hysterically.

January 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

OK, since my husband spent 25 years in the Air Force and this is an Army cake, I have the MLK cake thing figured out. In this particular Battalion, some guy's wife took a lesson at the local Michael's. When it was suggested they have a cake for MLK day, the guy said "my wife is a professional cake decorator, she can do it" and this creative masterpiece was born. Our squadrons were always trying to "keep it cheap" too.

January 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJacki

@Kyle, nicely done!

@Trista, agree with the "MLK" cake looking more like late-in-life Elvis.

Add me to the list of people who would love to know the story of the amputated foot cake.

January 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeanette

After zooming in, I don't think that IS a belly cake, actually... I think it's a pot with various Mexican foods - the green is guacamole, the red center line (with its spikes) is a pepper, and so is the red part of the "arm". The tan "hand" is in fact a small Mexican hat which, like the maracas, is serving as a decoration. The only things I'm not sure of are the boobs... tomatoes? Part of the pot lid?

Or... is this a cake showing a woman made of vegetables? That would be seriously strange...

As always, this site has me shaking with laughter. =-)

January 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Forma me, those look more than really cool gravestones. No surf blard or anything else.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaría

MLK cake looks like a shaved Svengoolie! And that belly cake is... uh... well... hmm.

February 1, 2017 | Unregistered Commentervalarie

On the last cake I just focused on the "Old" at first and thought the surfboards could be confused with tombstones. O_o

February 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHowlindawgs

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