My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

You KNOW This Power Point Presentation Exists Somewhere

Technique A:

The "Decorative Candy Drizzle Embellishment"

Step 1. Hold container in hand:


Step 2. Invert container:



Technique B:

The "Elegant Victorian Baroque Fine Lace Ornamentation"

Step 1. Hold piping bag over cake:


Step 2. Squeeze



Technique C:

The "Parisian Silk Corinthian Fancy Ribbon Embellishment"

Step 1. Hold ribbon over cake:


Step 2. Cut ribbon:



We trust these techniques will bring your cakes to new depths, bakers. Keep up the "good work."


Thanks to Anne Marie, Jill L., & Erin L. for proving it can always be worse - and when it comes to cakes, it probably will be.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (32)

When teaching cake decor technique
Instructors have no need to speak
Using sugar and flour
Make their points with great power
Now you can make a cake that's on fleek

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Nothing says par-tay like a cake with one long poo worm.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

John (THOJ), bravo! Thank you for the extra's in each also. I'm talking about the Shadow Puppets you cast in the Steps. What? No one else sees the shadow puppets? I see them. I see Shadow puppets. Technique C, Step 1: Profile of a Muppet man? Step 2: Dragon up-chucking the cake with sprinkles. Technique B, Step 1: Muppet hand reaching up to gently caress a thigh? Step 2: I got nothing, sorry. Technique C, Step 1: Muppet guy looking down at Step 3, the cat with scissors in mouth about to trim his nose hairs.

I know you're all thinking Cookimama has finally lost, but I've always been this crazy. I work hard at it and I'm darned proud to be a crazy Cake Wreck-a-holic! Happy Weekend to all!

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I am incredibly delighted to think about the planning for this post. Props! hand modeling! THE TIMING! I would be giggling the entire time if it was my job.

Good work, and nice hands, John!

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKristenSue

Depths is the right word.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Thank you for sharing your Superb Decorating Knowledge with us peons. It was truly a sight to behold. My life is forever changed, and I will be incorporating these advanced techniques in my next project.

I bow down before your awesomeness :)

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Okay I dont know about the second two, but the first one's kind of nice. A cake covered with those long candies excites me almost as much as a cake covered with two inches of ICING!!! 8-d

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

This one really tickled my funny bone! I do agree that this PowerPoint exists. It makes just as much sense as any other explanation for how these cakes came to be.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

John should have been a hand model. Such grace, such ease. I now think that I too can decorate a cake as he has so wonderfully tutored the techniques.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMax

It's so much fun to laugh at fails but it's kind of sad to look at these cakes that turned out just the way the "decorator" planned.
Great demo of advanced techniques. One question: can various colored sugars ever be used instead of sprinkles? Once, long ago, I was going to make those adorable spring cookies-the bunny, the chick, the tulip- as seen in the Williams-Sonoma catalog. And I didn't. I have an abundance of pastel sugars. Would the sprinkle technique work with this?
Enquiring minds want to know.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Hahaha, I love the new format you tried out. Very funny

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

Okay, I HAVE to ask: with "technique B": did ANYONE else "hear" a sound...(ppppffttthhhh!) like the air coming out of a balloon(...or something else...) when you pull on the part you blow on...?

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm with Que Sara Lee: Cake 1 looks tasty and kind of pretty. Lazily decorated, yes, but it doesn't really need anything more.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Are those JthoJ's hands?

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Funniest post! 2 thumbs up.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa S.

I am fairly sure that the fine lace cake is aintestinal worm I saw in a microbiology book, or maybe a microbiology specimen O_o , D:

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

By far one of your funniest posts. PLEASE do more to teach us how to "decorate" a cake.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Thanks Jen and John (thoJ)! You've used my "mega sprinkles" cake photo in two posts! I am honored and humbled (and I love the PP presentation). Even I could decorate a cake to look like one of these :).

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

Lord have mercy. I am either horrified or laughing hysterically at these cakes. I love it! LOL LOL
I will say that every time I go to the store now, I have my camera out hoping to catch something horrifying to send to you.

Brings a whole new meaning to grocery shopping........... LOL

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJean

The secret techniques for Mardi Gras king cake -- revealed!

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

I really like your ring, jthoJ. It's the most tasteful item in the pictures. :D

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMin

You have outdone yourselves! You've torn back the curtain and exposed the devilishly cleaver techniques used by professionals to attain wreckerator status. I salute you.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAva T.

If there was PowerPoint involvement somewhere, that's all the explanation that's needed to the question 'How the #^$* was THAT perpetrated in the name of cake decoration?'

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrhandle

Am I the only one who is totally offended by the last cake? A cake with a piece of ribbon and almost NO icing. Barbaric!

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

I've really got to hand it to you, John (thoj)! Great post!

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

@ John (thoJ) -- Bravissimo! Chuckle, Chortle, Guffaw, Cry! Well done, indeed.

@ CookieMama -- I love the "cat with scissors about to cut his nose hairs" Hahahahahahaha.

July 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Lol I think this is exactly how the wreckerators are decorating cakes. All those sprinkles. At least they aren't the silver candy balls that will break all your teeth if you bite into them.. those are just evil lol.

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

This confirms my long-held belief that PowerPoint is evil. I love the "action photo" of the sprinkles falling from the bottle, I can hear the sound of rushing teeny bits of sugar yumminess as the sprinkles fall through the air.

The last cake is, I believe, an attempt to follow the trend of "naked cakes" -- with a nice diagonal presentation. I actually like the various angles: the angles formed by twisting the ribbon, the angle of the ribbon on the cake, the angle of the cake on the board …

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDD

Thank you for inspiring me. I have a big presentation on Tuesday about "Reducing Food Waste," and I'm really tempted to use your PowerPoints to start my presentation. Well, I won't actually use your PowerPoints, but it was amusing to consider the reactions of my classmates and instructor if they thought that your PowerPoints were my presentation. A group of 25 Nutrition grad students and interns all simultaneously thinking "WTF" as Jennie madly flips through a CakeWrecks PPT presentation.....=)

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Congratulations on mastering those decorating techniques. I look forward to your next very informative lecture. Please let me know the date the tickets will be on sale for the lecture in order to learn such fabulous tricks of the trade.

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

That piping cake looks like what you'd give Indiana Jones for his birthday, if you were secretly mad at him.

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOLUT

Well Done, John, (tHoJ)!! I can hardly wait for the section on "Creative Lettering: Mastering Shape, Spacing, and Alteration." I just *know* that my complete inability to spell will serve me well!

July 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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