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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun032016

Something Punny About Literals

Just when you think the age of hilarious literal cakes is over, that bakers have all caught wind of this blog and therefore wised up to writing the order instructions ON the cake... you get a glorious triple-header in one week.

Life... IS GOOD.

I like how the baker put the crown over the "Inside the Heart" part.

It's like, somehow, on some level, she knew.

 

Then there's the classic "covering all the bases" approach:

Baker: "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WAAAANT."

 

I kind of desperately want this last one to be intentional on the baker's part, because I can actually respect the sort of passive-aggressive snark it would take to do this on purpose:

See, when Susan ordered, she made a point of asking for decent handwriting.
Guess how she phrased it.

 

Thanks Teri B., Kristie, and Susan L. for renewing my faith in wreckerators. The age of Under Neat Thats lives on! Extra sprinkles for everybody!

*****

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Reader Comments (28)

Gee, it's too bad that last admonishment was not given to the "creator" of cake #2.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Too bad they mismessaged on that first cake -- it's otherwise gorgeous with such beautiful buttercream latticework and roses!!!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

How do so many people get jobs as cake decorators when they have such horrible handwriting? Why doesn't the boss test them and find out if they can actually write on a cake before hiring them? And, of course, there's the thing about knowing how to spell, too...

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCelest

If you want something done right...

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

What is a "scrach", and why would she want it?

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I love how the baby blocks seem to ask "Y?Y?Y?"

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

But the scrach is the tastiest part of the chicken!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBin

"No Chicken Scrach", huh? You mean like on cake #2 for "Chrstina"? Why, oh why, do bakeries let people write in icing who clearly can't.

BTW, will we have to head to the Epcot Bunker as we all point out that "Scrach" is misspelled? No other comments are showing yet so I can't tell how many others will note it, but I'm sure there'll be many.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

I am sure that Susan didn't misspell her chicken scratch like the wreckerator did :P

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJOY

And just to top off the hilarity, on the boxing cake, "scratch" is misspelled. Talk about insult to injury...

The decorator got that last one to a "t", and then kept the it. Scrach. :O

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

There are so many things wrong with that 'Baby Blocks' cake - at least the literal interpretation makes it funny - otherwise it would just be sad.

Nothing worse than a sad cake :(

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Do you think that last baker also misspelled "scrach" on purpose?

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSara

It's too bad about that first cake, because aside from the "stuck on stupid", it's beautiful.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Proverbs 22:6 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." I am confused, is this cake for the baby or the parents?

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWildcatMo

TBH, if I were a baker, I'd probably think "No chicken scrach (?)" was some inside joke and go with it.

Nah, I'd at least call first and ask.

I have to think some of these are on the fault of the orderer. Only write what you want on the line. NOTHING ELSE.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Cake #2's bakery needs to turn up the heat. Poor wreckerator was shivering!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

The first cake must have been lovely before the purple icing attacked. I would probably have a good cry if that was the cake i paid for. And then I'd hurt someone and security would escort me to the parking lot.
(True story about scrach: we were in the last 50 miles of a marathon family road trip. We're all tired and hungry and 3 of us were under 10. We pull the van into a fast food place that proudly proclaims "Our biscuits are made from scratch!" We order, pay and pull up to the second window. The young employee reads off our order as I start unpacking and distributing food to the kids. Now, my husband has a terrific sense of humor but it's mostly as an observer; he doesn't often make the funny. The server asked "Will there be anything else?" "A few extra napkins please and, can you tell me a little more about your scratch? Do you know where the scratch comes from? Is this locally grown scratch or...?" He asks several more questions, the kids and I are looking at him with total awe and disbelief and all of us fall apart when this befuddled young man replies,"I don't know about scratch but I can get my manager." )
Scrach is funny. With or without the T.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I suppose "inside the heart" could be interpreted as a nice sentiment...

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEliss

"How do so many people get jobs as cake decorators when they have such horrible handwriting?"

They don't. They're people who just happen to work at the store and get asked to write on a cake. They can't find the person whose job it is to actually *do that* (or it's when the cake decorator is off duty) and they think "hey, I can write words"... and thus a wreck is born.

I used to decorate ice cream cakes* and on the days I was off, *anyone* working that day would write on them. I finally made everyone who worked there practice how to write with a piping bag on wax paper. I always made them ask how to spell every name too, even if they thought it was dumb. You never know when there's a "Gen" or a "Bobb".

*Okay, so not a *real* cake, but it's hard when your surface is melting under your piping bag!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterARoussell

Not only do Wreckorators not spell or write properly, they simply don't THINK. (Well, that part is pretty obvious.) One Sunday morning I did two things I never do: went to 8:00 service and stopped in eth grocery store on a Sunday.

I ran into a fellow from church, pacing up and down in front of the bakery department. His granddaughter was being baptized that day, and he discovered, when he went to pick up the cake, the clerk had read the number 12 as a 15, and had the cake set up to go on Wednesday, rather than Sunday. Who baptizes a child in the middle of the week? I told him to give me the money and go on to church, and I'd collect the cake and bring it back over when it was ready.

The Good Lord not only takes care of drunks and fools, He also watches over Weckorators to make sure they don't get killed by disgruntled customers!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Jane, I thought the same thing, in fact, I often wonder how many of these wrecks are due to the customer rather than the decorator. If you call an order in, you're just asking for a wreck. But if you fill a form out, the form surely asks what the customer wants on the cake. Don't explain. Just write what you want on the cake! But we also have to keep in mind that in "bakeries" in big box stores and supermarkets, these decorators don't need a high school diploma and are probably making $10/hr or less.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

I agree with the comment that a lot of the bad handwriting comes from people who aren't actually cake decorators. I've been a cake decorator for 7 years and anyone who works in the bakery is suppose to write on cakes so I am assuming it is the same anywhere else. On the same note you shouldn't judge all supermarket bakeries because there are a lot of really talented cake decorators that can do some amazing cakes.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterelle

Are we not going to talk about the fact that SCRATCH is spelt incorrectly! Maybe someone did mention that, but I couldn't not say it.

Phew, I feel better now.

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRiann

WildcatMo,

I think they mean that you should start the kid off right away eating cake, so he/she can eat cake forever.

Finally! A Bible verse I like!

June 3, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChakolate

Oh my gosh. What the.. nope my brain can't fathom why someone would write so horribly on any cake. At least they got the baby blocks lol.

June 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

IDK, "inside the heart" kind of makes sense to me. Baby Bella is all our hearts. Also Jen's thank you comment was hilarious, "I want sprinkles" hahahaha

June 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Just so you know, the first cake is a Costco cake and their decorators are not allowed to add flotsam and jetsam to cakes, so the crown had to have been added after purchase. Also, for those who take issue with the color of the writing, if the directions don't include a color for that design, the writing is in white. I was a Costco cake decorator (don't hate me) and we made some lovely cakes, but every once in a while the instructions on the form were clear as mud and a cake would get wreckerated. We were always willing to fix the problem though, no matter who was at fault!

June 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMisty

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