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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr082016

Friday Favs 4/8/16

A few of my favorite new submissions this week.

 

I'll be honest, Brandi; I have some issues with this cake you ordered:

 

But with that said, you're right: the one you got is way worse.

0.o

 

David Bowie taught me that boys are made of slime and snails and puppy dog tails (and sometimes enormous pant bulges) but apparently there's another version that says it's frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.

Anyway, my point is:

Guess what that thing in the middle's supposed to be.

(And no, it's not a pants bulge. Sorry if I made it harder by bringing that up.) (And for that unintentional pun just now.) (Or am I?)

 

Because some cakes need no words:

Just desperate, silent screams.

(Bonus points if you spotted the dead fly.)

 

Score another victory for Hooked On Phonics:

Not that I can say much, of course: I can't spell Quinceanera, either. But hey, now we all know how to pronounce it!

 

And finally, let's see if you've had your coffee yet:

Once you spot the irony, it's TWO FUNNY.

 

Thanks to Brandi P., Katie O., Leighanne M., Kristen L., & Anony M. for crunching those numbers for us.

*****

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Reader Comments (25)

Keep your miracles
It matters not what you say
Magic comes in threes

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Thank you for pointing out the dead fly, Jen, and no, the screams are NOT silent. That cake is the stuff nightmares are made of.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaskfan

I am somewhat disappointed that the last cake had 5 flowers and not 3....

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Is that a maggot in Minnie's mouth?????

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSiebrie

SNIPS 'N' SNAILS AND PUPPY DOGS' TAILS - THAT'S WHAT LITTLE BOYS ARE MADE OF.
And which of those critters is a snip?
The cake, on the other hand, is made of sugar, spice and everything nice before the Wreckeraters got hold of it.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Austria

@Alison, that's how I learned the little boys and girls poem too.
@Saskfan, is there really a dead fly in Minnie's mouth? I can't tell.

I was trying to decide what the wrecked version of #1 looks like. Then I realized it resembles this monkey puppet on strings that I had when I was a kid. Both the wreck and the puppet are/were creepy!!

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Love the Bowie /Labyrinth song quote!!! Slimy frogs maybe?
Um is the Minnie cake have the name blacked over by frosting as well? Why?
Just scary

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPenny M

With that flat face, the 2nd dog looks rather like a Peke-a-poo (Pekingese/Poodle cross) with emphasis on the poo!

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

Uh oh, looks like the dog left several presents! Except... the presents are him/her...? Not sure of the logistics there...

Hmm. Maybe the caller should have spelled it. Then the cake would be inscribed with "Happy Quinceanera with a tilde over the second n" or "Quiñceanera"* or something like that. Anything but "Quinceañera", right?

*To get an ñ, hold Alt and press your num pad's 0241, then release Alt.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Nooooooooo

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Viz that last cake:

ONE... TWO... FIVE!!!!!

("Three", Sir)

THREEEEEE!!!!!

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Jodi:You weren't supposed to notice that...It was only a maggot when Siebrie saw it in Minnie's mouth. As for the last cake, there isn't enough coffee in the.....Oh, let's just call the extra "miracles" the ones the cake "blows" on. =^~.-^=

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Three is a magic number.
Yes it is, it's a magic number.
Somewhere in the ancient, mystic bakery
You get three as a magic number.
The cloud and the B-fly and the beetle,
Flour and eggs and buttercream,
The guy with no brain and no talent
Give you three.
That's a magic number.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The frog one and the miracles in twos one are actually kinda cute... Despite the poo and the counting mix-up.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

I like the first arrangement. It is not cupcakes pretending to be a single cake, it is a nice collection of 19 individual cupcakes in a double arch with a hint at being a dachshund body to accompany what looksl like gingerbread tail, feet and head (though the head looks less like gingerbreat than the other body parts). The second one is a collection of 13 variously decorated cupcakes placed in a box in the attempt of making it look like a mammal.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Austria

Another vote for "snips" which I always interpreted as "little bits of things snipped off" so maybe that's what's on that cake.

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Maybe the brown thing in the middle of cake #3 is the bridge the frog and the snail have to cross to get to the forest to make them into a boy? Otherwise it is just yet another pile of poo - but the snail is kinda cute so it isn't all bad. But Minnie - that is the stuff of nightmares!

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

I'm just grateful "twos" didn't have an extraneous apostrophe (or two).

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

That last cake is following a book design exactly. The only difference is the book design has a blue background, not pink. Did the customer specifically request two of everything instead of three?

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThe Zed

Forgetting the face that puppies come in less poo-like colors than brown, I think they got a bit too literal on that one. It didn't have to JUST be the tail end. At least I hope that's what they were attempting.

**side note: "snips" was apparently an old term for baby eels

April 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

Good golly, in my experience, celebrating a girl's Quinceañera is almost as significant as a wedding. That makes that wreck particularly horrendous (but still funny).

The very pretty cake at the end made me giggle-snort, and I very rarely do that!

April 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

First one (not the wreck version of it) wasn't that awful. At least the cupcakes were individual and it wasn't done in neon goo. As for the last one, "There are THREE lights!"

April 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Lol oh my gosh.. what I have just seen I cannot unsee. Especially that CCC...oh yuck patooie! Nightmare inducing lol.

April 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Penny M- I'm pretty sure the Minnie cake was a special order, including a Happy Birthday message to someone. But... when the person went to pick it up they had the sense not to buy it, so the bakery covered the name and slapped it in the display case!

April 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterK Michelle's

I guess I haven't had my coffee yet, but I don't see the problem with the last one. Is it just that there are three butterflies and ladybugs?

April 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTern

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