My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs 10/7/16

A few of my favorite new submissions this week:


What do you think, worst proposal ever?

I mean, it's misspelled and on a DONUT, for StayPuft's sake.

Then again, if s/he says no, I suppose you could claim it was a joke ("I just meant I'm really cheerful!") and eat the evidence super quick. So hey, silver lining.


I can't decide if this is an argument for more art in school, or less:



And hey, speaking of anatomically improbable figures:

Is his chin a pepper shaker?

And please tell me I'm not the only one squicked out by the thong-not-reaching-all-the-way-between-the-legs thing. YOUR THONG NEEDS BETTER SUPPORT, DUDE. Nobody wants all that flapping around and migratin' and whatnot.

(I know what you're thinking, and yes, I would be a terrible person to invite to your bachelorette party. I'd be the one handing out sweaters and Purell and asking if we can turn the music down.)


And finally, these segues practically write themselves, because someone ordered this MAC lipstick cake:

...but in leopard print. I have no idea why.


Anyway, Douglas Adams was right, y'all: BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD.

Especially when it's supposed to be leopard-spotted lipstick. Which, ostensibly, this is. [suspicious look] Yeeeeeah.


Thanks to Leah F., Tiassa, Naomie-Ruth, & Aviancee, who I'm still not sure I believe, but hey, I report, YOU DECIDE.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Sunday Sweets Takes A Liking For Vikings | Main | Stranger Bakery Things »

Reader Comments (43)

I saw the 'Merry Me' donut, and I immediately heard the Not Dead Yet guy from Monty Python's Holy Grail saying, "I feel happy!!!"

Aah, good times :)

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

This week's submissions have been particularly lumpy. I wonder if that's a new trend.

Stay safe out there in the path of Hurricane Matthew, and that's no joke. We care about you!

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Marry me and make me happy?

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

That's all you got for the third done? Where are his ARMS?

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I meant to type, "the third ONE." That's all you got for the third one?"

And by the way, I still want to know... "Where are his ARMS?"

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I have been on vacation so I may have missed this. But, are you guys OK in Florida? Better no Cake Wrecks than having Jen and John Wrecks! Please let us worriers know.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Nobody wants spotted lipstick: that is just GROSS!. That baker was not using the brain cells much. Although, you guys would be out of a job soon if more bakers did use the little grey cells.

I really hope you are weathering Matthew (the hurricane) well, mentally and physically. I have many friends around the Orlando area who are out of power. Take care, Jen and John (and kitties)!

I went to this site sort of by habit (my tea hasn't kicked in yet) & immediately thought "What a dork I am! They're dealing with a HURRICANE--updating the site would be the least of their concerns." But, to my vast surprise, there's another new one, on time, just as though Mother Nature wasn't having a huge tantrum. Does NOTHING rattle you guys? I think you should have new titles: Jen, The Most High Cakey Goddess of Snark And Storms, & john (the ignorer of hurricanes).

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

bwahahahahaha! Oh, I do love HGG. Do you think instructions on how to be a wreckerator are also in the file behind the door marked beware of the leopard?

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Oh that lipstick cake! The horror! I could almost forgive the monumental failure of execution (almost), if the wreckerator hadn't decided to randomly add the giant shell borders... WHY???

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

Not quite sure what's wrong with the second one. Other than being in an ugly color, it looks exactly like Picasso.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

The arms? That's not all that's off, here.His "belly button" must have been decorated with an ice auger.Oh, then there's little issue with the ants! Good job, wreckorators! What is this type of work worth these days, and do you have a union protect--I mean, anyone looking out for case, you know, someone gets hurt?
[I'm not thinking"on the job", as much as "upon delivery".] =^-.-^=

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On that... uh, 'man-cake'...

Is it just me or does... 'he' look a bit like Niko Bellic from GTA 4...?
Which only raises more questions, let alone the bizarre anatomy and lack of (visible) appendages.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJP

Anatomically correct people cakes are ALWAYS FAIL.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

He brought the cupcakes to the Fellowship of the Ring wrap party because he was tired of people calling him "Pippin."

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Hope you guys and the kitties are weathering the storm!

BTW, what's with all the pink leopard print? -- ICK! The thong and bachelorette party comments were too funny!

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

..does nobody else wonder what the text is in the third cake?

"And they called it ..puppy(?) .." ?

I'd say "inquiring minds want to know," but frankly I'm not sure I want to know, but I do anyways...

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Perhaps the "Merry Me" donut is an invitation to an amorous evening rather than a misspelled marriage proposal. A really cheap invitation. I mean, you could at least spring for a cronut.

Hang in there, Florida. Power crews are on their way from Tennessee.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

SaraCVT, I agree with your new titles for Jen and John!

"Hurricane Shmurricane!! POST THE CAKES!!"

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Well, at least they spelled Picasso correctly.

Anybody who asks for a leopard print lipstick cake is just asking for it. And they got it.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQuichepup

Karin, it's a song from the 70's, Puppy Love by the Osmonds.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIronguts

Someone asked me to make that exact lipstick cake once. I agreed to try it in buttercream (with reservations). I didn't think it turned out bad but when I saw "this is what they ordered" I had a mini panic attack, "oh no! This is the day one of my cakes ends up on cake wrecks!" Scrolled down and it wasn't mine. Thank goodness.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I have no idea why someone would honestly believe that MAC cake could be replicated, especially by her brother-in-law who moonlights at HiWay Gas DoNuts and Bait.
I have a pretty strong stomach ( not abs, stomach); worked in a nursing home in high school and raised : kids but that torso cake...that's an emetic. Whyyyyyyy? And "the call it Puppy ____"? Wwhhhaaattttt? No arms. No scrotum. A mad Sharpie attack on the upper chest area. And it's probably standard issue bakery marble cake. Ewww.
I hope all my wreck-loving peeps are safe. Thanks Intrepid Jen&John.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

The Picasso cake looks just like Marilyn Manson. So...

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

@Karin: The text is "And they called it *cake* puppy LOVE," presumably referring to the idea that no one thought it was serious in the beginning, & now they're getting married. It worries me a bit that I can understand that.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

You say "on a doughnut" like it's a bad thing.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAB

I don't think that the pink leopard print undergarment can actually be called a thong since it doesn't pass between his legs and up the other, uh, side. I think it is more like half of a breech-cloth.
For whomever it was that asked, I'm pretty sure that the writing tells us "And they called it puppy love", as in the song.

Jen & John (thoj) - If you can't get out a Sunday Sweets this week, everyone will understand. Stay safe and dry.

October 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMariaTeresa

Ugh leopard print lipstick?? That looks like it molded before it got to the customer and then flattened itself. Ugh lol.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Torso cakes give me the creeps.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermarilyn

And they called it puppy love
Oh I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so

And they called it puppy love
Just because we're seventeen
Tell them all it isn't fair
To take away my only dream

I cry each night these tears for you
My tears are all in vain
Oh I'll hope and I'll pray that may be some day
You'll be back in my arms once again

Someone help me, help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I ever tell them
This is not a puppy love

sung by both Paul Anka and Donny Osmond

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

@Karin: I'm pretty sure it reads "and they call it puppy love" (from the old song).

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Lady Anne, I once had a guy say to me (and I swear this is true!), "Marian...if you will marry me, I will buy you a pinto and make you very happy."

As for the leopard underwear cake, maybe it's some sort of version of the "asymmetric thong". Google it. In private. *cough*

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

@Karin:I think it's "and they call it puppy love"- from an old song that was popular several years (decades?) ago.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Karin: "Puppy love." Donny Osmond.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

@wildmaven (Marian): If a pinto makes you happy, you are my kind of gal. Can we be friends?

--From a girl whose best birthday present was a quarterhorse, at 13.

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I dunno. To my eyes the Picasso cake is a not-entirely-awful attempt at this:

October 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAllstonian

I'm fully embarrassed (but not completely ashamed) to admit it took me a couple of minutes to realize the 'merry me' was supposed to be spelled 'marry me' err on the plus side only one letter was wrong which is more than can be said for most misspelled cakes!

October 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

I was wondering: "What's wrong with the lipstick cake?" Then I scrolled down and thought, "Oh."

October 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterM. E.

My first thought on seeing the first cake is it obviously wasn't ordered by Warf. Because he is not a Merry Man.

October 9, 2016 | Unregistered Commenternorak

That Man-with-Ants-Cake is beyond belief!

Hope you guys are OK.

I lived in WPB from 1966-1968 and experienced several hurricanes. They weren't the intensity of an Andrew or a Matthew, mostly a lot of rain, humidity and mild inconvenience. Like I said they weren't big deals. I was thrilled that school was cancelled, I remember that (I was 12). I also remember my mom, dad, myself as well as friends of theirs (who had lived in FL a LOT longer than we had) went to downtown WPB to walk on the pier. We were allowed to do this, believe it or not, but the pier was creaking and the ocean looked black and foamy. We didn't stay long. You know what they say about fools and drunkards! I can honestly say I don't miss the humidity or the palmetto bugs living in SoCal!

October 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

" squicked" What is with all the made up words?

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

Wildmaven, was your beau referring to the seventies car with the gas tank that exploded when rear ended or the horse. My sister had the exploding version.

October 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJacki J

I hate you for reminding me that Paul Anka’s “Puppy Love,” one of the worst things ever to exist, is a thing that exists.

October 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMike

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>