Punctuation Rule's
September 24, 2015 Today is National Punctuation Day, so I thought it'd be good to go over the five basic;... "punctuation" rules.
Bakers, pay attention.
Rule #1: Sometimes periods, question marks, and exclamation points are important.
;)
And they usually go at the end of the sentence.
;)
(But what if it's not mine?)
Rule #2: Commas. Use them.
;)
Unless you actually own an ass quitter.
Also note that the word "comma" can sometimes sound like "karma."
;)
Just FYI.
Rule #3: Apostrophe's. Sure. Why not.
;)
;)
(And that's the FIXED version...)
Rule #4: When in doubt, throw in some extra exclamation marks.
;)
What you lack in competency you can always make up for with enthusiasm.
Or, if you're REALLY confused, try some ellipses!
;)
Eh?!
And finally:
Rule #5: Quotation Marks Are For Sarcasm, NOT EMPHASIS.
If it helps, just imagine Dr. Evil saying the bit you put in quotes.
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
Yep, just follow these five simple rules, and you'll be fine.
"Promise."
;)
Thanks to Terry H., Mel P., Shawn G., Kate A., Chrissie G., Ebony M., Megan H., Christina M., Norma Jean, Andrea P., & Sarah V. for the extra dose of eeee-vil.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (48)
"Unless you actually own an ass quitter" -- that was exactly what I said in my head, and then I read the caption. Hahahaha
I will you, Jen
I think this site was "meant to be"
"We will you Josh!!!"
???
That's gotta be a classic.
Hey Baker, Do you ever think that something might be MISSing? ya' know; like a MISSing word???
Or has "you" been made into a verb, some new crazy language trend: "we will YOU josh!!!" we will...
Um :::raises hand::: What's a "hlord"?
Here, let me correct some of these.
Will, you marry me!
You're super? Cool!
Kiss our asses quieter!
Goodnight, Karma! Good luck with Edward R. Murrow
Secretary's Love=our cakes
Happy Boy's Birthday!
We wue you, Josh.
My sweet herd! Mooooo!
And from the Let's Keep Our Hands to Ourselves award...
Congratulations Stormchasers! Underfeeled!
The Dr Evil rule is brilliant! Brilliant, I say! Random apostrophes and quotation marks run rampant through retail signage and drive me insane - you can be sure I'll be sharing this instructional gem.
I just want to know what we're willing Josh to do...
'My Sweet Heard'? This is raising some incredibly weird images regarding the recipient's new hearing aid.
And it is surely not possible that all these wreckerators attended the Carrot School of Punctuation.
Anyone out there old enough to remember that really old George Harrison song? The one he got sued for because it supposedly sounded like "He's So Fine?"
My sweet heard
My sweet heard
I really want to hear you heard
But it's way too hard to hear
BTW, that's exactly what Edward R. Murrow said.
"Great" "post" "today" "Jen" "lots" "of" "LOLs."
1. Proposal cakes now available as commands. How romantic.
2. Building caretakers can be cool, just ask em.
3. Where can I find an "ass quitter"?
4. Karma should rest well.
5. If this is the "fixed" cake, what was the "original"? I can't be the only curious one.
6. This pairs nicely with the first cake.
7. Heard what?
8. "Undefealed"? Undefiled?
9. I read it as Rohy & h12. Calm down the curly L, will ya?
I think schools should totally teach the Dr. Evil Method of Using Quotation Marks.
First cake to be pronounced in the same zombie voice that Agnes uses to repeat her "we love you, mothers, everywhere" poem in "Despicable Me 2"
...is it bad that I first read the soccer cake as "unclefealed".....
My husband and I just celebrated 10 years. That first cake has convinced me for our next anniversary, I need to order a cake that says: Will, you married me. I'm sure that wouldn't confuse the bakery at all.
Second cake: When my 4yr old misplaces his cape, he runs around the house yelling "Where is my super? I need my super."
My doctor has just been made on of the "Co-director's" of her department. The sign is covered with plastic, but every time I go to her office I still try to scratch off the offending apostrophe.
I'm surprised you didn't mention the very first one - using a lower case "i" in an otherwise all uppercase sentence. Or demand, as the case may be.
The Dr. Evil method is genius.
I just have to ask: What did my sweet hear? "My sweet heard..." is a bit of a cliffhanger.
Note to DQ: One is a secretary. More than one are secretaries. Are you with me? SecretarIES. It's not just the punctuation, it's the spelling.
what's next, a wreckerator who eats shoots and leaves?
Oh, whew! I'm not the only one who heard "My Sweet Lord." But what's a hlord? Or heord?
And if anyone is or has an Ass Quitter, i'd like to kniw what that is, too!
Ha! Adding Dr. Evil took this to a whole new level! Thanks!
Everyone should have a Josh. I hope someone wills me a Josh when they die.
We will! We will! You Josh!
We will! We will! You Josh!
Penny M: Not sure about 'hlord', but the word 'lord' comes from the Anglo-Saxon _hlaford_, 'loaf-guardian', and 'lady' comes from _hlafdige_, 'loaf-preparer'. So maybe it's a transitional form.
Love today's offerings! My pet peeves are misused apostrophes and quotation marks. One of my other favorite sites to visit is Apostrophe Catastrophe. There's another one for misplaced quotes too, but I can't remember the names. Those sites aren't quite as funny as Cake Wrecks, but pretty good all the same.
Appropriate timing. Did you see today's "Bloom County" cartoon?
I think I "get" (<see what I "did there"?) the "soccer" cake!? Maybe it was "ordered" by "someone" from "Ireland"?!? "Undefealed" "might be" an "ancient 'Celtic' word" "used" by (I don't know) the "Druids" (for "example")? I think I'm "right" about "this" because, if you "say", "Starmchasers" out loud..."it" "sounds" "Irish"!. It could be just a "misunderstanding" on "the part of" the "decorator"???!!! "Ignore" "me" if I'm "wrong" about "this"!...?
Rogue apostrophes drive me INSANE. Not to mention that 'your' that's the wrong one..... Ugh
Maybe #7 was supposed to be a Queen take-off
We will
We will
Josh you!!
That first one could be punctuated, "Will, you marry me!" Apparently, someone is annoyed that their fiance, Will, is putting off the wedding, and is commanding that they should get on with it already.
Or perhaps Will is the pastor's name, and he's dithering about whether to perform the wedding.
Hmm...
How much did those last three wrecks cost?
"One miiiilllllliiiion dollars"
Posted this on Facebook. One of my web dev colleagues said there should be some kind of CML (CKe Markup Language) to solve this problem.
{icing color=red}Happy Birthday{br \}Dan{\icing}
Hmm... Anyone else think maybe the instructions for the last cake were, "...and write 'Congratulations, Stormchasers!' on the field (undefealed)"?
It all makes sense now! Dr. Evil is behind all the wrecks! I am totally picturing Dr. Evil and Scott running a bakery. Dr. Evil makes all the mistakes and Scott rolls his eyes and asks him why he keeps doing that. Dr. Evil says, "Because it's eee-vil", but Scott says it's just stupid. Then Dr. Evil says, "Shh! I have a whole bag of 'Shh!' over here!". : P
Starnchasers? What in the heck are Starnchasers?
Rule #3: Apostrophe's. Sure. Why not.
Um.. You DO know that an apostrophe in your rule is not required, correct? Or are you just being funny? :)
Lynne Truss would be spinning in her grave, if she were not still alive lamenting these abuses of the English language.
We have seen so many swipe marks that I hardly notice them any more. However, I think the is the first swipe-and-rewrite on a wedding cake. Roly and Liz must have been very pleased.
Your "Hilarious" oops, I mean "You're" hilarious! Anyway, love your blog.
As long as we're referencing Lynne Truss, we might also mentionThe Girl's Like Spaghetti: Why, You Can't Manage Without Apostrophes!
Josh seems to be the object of some sort of telepathic manipulation. The people who bought the cake probably had to eat it with their fingers because all the forks were bent.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought it was a rewrite of a Queen song; now I feel marginally less weird.
And Kyle, isn't it obvious? Starnchasers are people who chase starns. Simple.
For the record, I am NOT kissing ANYBODY'S ass quitter until I get a full and frank description of what the occupation of ass quitting actually entails. Something to do with donkeys?
Did anyone else think the "Your Super? Cool" cake was a little optical-illusion-esque? (That's totally a real word, by the way.) Seriously: If you look at the cake one way, the guy's legs are on the ground and his arms are in the air. If you look at it another way, it's like he's flying toward you and his legs are out behind him. Mind-boggling, I know. (Much like the cake itself!)
. . .
There are people out there that think quotation marks can be used for emphasis?
why. WHYYYYYYYY?
(*points to self*<--- English major)
Oh the suspense is killing me. What is Josh getting willed to do? Lol. And what did sweet hear? Honestly these cakes leave so many questions probably best left unanswered lol.
What is this Starm that this team chasing? Is Starm a nickname for the soccer ball, the goal?
Re: Cake #2
Pac-Man is my super? Cool indeed!
The stormchasers one was supposed to say "undefeated."
It took me a minute to figure out, but I'm fairly certain cake #8 is supposed to say "My Sweetheart," but they wrote "heard" instead of "heart" and separated it from "sweet," because reasons.
“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
Buddy, you don't laugh
You're a young man frowning in the street;
Gonna bum out the world someday!
Got a scowl on your face,
It's a big disgrace
Somebody better get some comedy some place!
We will,
We will,
Josh you!