My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tell Me What You Want, What You Literally Want...

They asked for a big number 8.

They got it.


And this one was to be ready by Wednesday:

(Think if they'd had 'til Friday they could have used a decorator who WASN'T colorblind?)


Remember last week's "Happy Birthday in Chinese" snafu? Well, for this next one they asked a French bakery to write "Happy Anniversary" in Polish.

And now, proof that you can literally wreck a cake in any language:

What's Polish for "facepalm"? Hang on, lemme go look.
Aha! K, here we go:



You'll never guess what color the NSC Sweethearts wanted:

In fact, I bet they wanted blue icing almost as much as they didn't want to be called the "Sweathart's."


While we're hypothesizing, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess it WILL fit:


And finally, for the days when you're just tired of trying:



Thanks to Gretchen L., Renae F., Armelle B., Jennifer T., Carmin B., & Audrey L. for inspiring every minimalist's next birthday cake.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« With This Wreck, I Thee Wed | Main | Sunday Sweets Goes Art Deco... Again! »

Reader Comments (34)

As my babcia would say, "Na pochyłe drzewo wszystkie Francuzi skaczą."

[Editor's note- "On the sloping tree all Frenchmen jump?" O.o -john (the Polish guy who's never heard of this)]

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

I might have to use twarzpalma today, that's fun to say! But not for my birthday cake, since I made it myself (Happy Birthday, me, enjoy the spice cake). :-)

Never trust the wreckorators!

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

"No frilly crap"!!!! Hahahahahaha!!! Love it!
That will be my theme for today.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Don't know whether to laugh or cry...makes you wonder if it's ignorance or apathy.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Usually I just smile when I'm reading these. What can I say? I"m lame. But that last one made me laugh right out loud.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

My husband walked in to see the last cake, and he wants it for his upcoming birthday! Much easier than the cakes I usually make.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBin

I predict that "no frilly crap" is destined to be another CW classic!

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterED

Gotta ask: what's with the poo piles on cake number 2? #2!!! That's ironic. (Sorry. Too many grandsons)

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Oh, Thank You for that No Frilly Crap Cake! I laughed out loud for half a minute and have been giggling like a loon for another five! Laughter therapy on a Rainy Day. Just what I needed. Thanks.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Surely I cannot be the only one disappointed that the last one is printed in block letters.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

Is it just me, or does anyone think "Ready by Wednesday Renee" would make a great nickname?

I may have to offer that up as a roller derby name the next time one of my friends asks for ideas.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

*twarzpalma* Great name for a garage band! The writing on the French-Polish cake is really pretty.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Happy B-day @ScaperMama! Enjoy your spice cake! (Yum!)
Also, I am with @ED, I think "NO FRILLY CRAP" is destined to become a CW classic. (Fingers crossed!)

And finally, the Sweatheart's cake is a debacle on so many levels! I don't know which is more irksome, the "blue" mistake, the misspelling, the weird random periods of ellipse, or the improper apostrophe. I vote for the last one -- it's my pet peeve! Hmmm...the ellipses do add a sense of drama there for a second, though.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I looked at the first cake, and all I could think was, "Just walk away." Only because there isn't a song titled "Run Away Renee."

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Actually laughed out loud at no frilly crap! I'm amazed there's no frilly crap.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

As a French speaker I had a difficult time even deciphering what the first word on that cake read -- that /H/ totally looks like a /B/ and the /e/s look a bit like /o/s. Anyway, once I figured out it read "Heureuse Anniversaire" I thought that it's more likely "Happy Birthday", since a wedding anniversary is more commonly 'anniversaire de mariage' in French. That said, in Polish, Happy Birthday is "Wszystkiego Najlepszego".

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPanya

@Nagzilla: Derby girls are always ready. (to get hit anyway)

I agree with ED and Jodi, "NO FRILLY CRAP" is destined to become a CW classic.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEla

So, I imagine some might think that the white "ruffles" on that last one might still qualify as "frilly crap", even with the plain tip they used to make it less "frilly"...

Yes, a new classic CW phrase.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Is it just me or is there a mummy face planing in the top right hand corner of cake #2??

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

I am also amazed that there is actually no frilly crap on the last cake. the second cake is just pretty amazing. it's like a 1890's and 1990's mash up.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteret

I'm not convinced the "No Frilly Crap" cake wasn't completely intentional. Perhaps the giver was promising to take care of the birthday person's seemingly endless minute details, thereby giving them a "Birthday with no Frilly Crap." Which sounds like a pretty AMAZING birthday.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLarry

I shall be trademarking "No Frilly Crap" immediately.

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

Hoe Hay (The Lumineers)

(Ho!) I've been trying to make a cake
(Hey!) I've been piping a big pink eight
(Ho!) I'll be finished in a snap
(Hey!) I'll leave off all frilly crap
(Ho!) Then I'll take a nap


(Ho!) So show me rodzina
(Hey!) All the blood that I would krwawić
(Ho!) French would make this line too long
(Hey!) I don't know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song

1, 2, 3

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweathart
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweat

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

:twarzpalma: :D Made my day even more than those cakes :D

also I realized that we don't have in polish good translation for :facepalm: maybe :żal: would be something we use in such ocassions :) Don't ask me to say how we spell that :D

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterProudMary

@SuBee: well done. : D

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I have great difficulty imagining my life without CakeWrecks! (With or without the Frilly Crap!)

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJustMeJo

Well, better sweathearts than Sweathogs! (Anyone besides me old enough to remember them?)

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@TLC: Perhaps Rosalie "Hotsy" Totsey would be a "Sweathart." After all, Arnold Horshack asked her to marry him.

(Oh, and "oopsie!" It was the 2th cake that made me think "Walk away!" not the 1nd.)

September 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Well at least they really and truly got no frilly crap on that cake lol. I really wonder what they would have done if it came with sprinkles too. Such fun. :D

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Wreck or not, the French one is beautiful.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

The French are so stylish. Even the raspberry is wearing a rakishly tilted little hat.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I'm actually a fan of that last cake, and would be quite happy to pay for it and take it home.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJennwith2ns

Holy (Frilly) Crap! I sooo agree with the other posters "No Frilly Crap" is a GREAT title for a CW hit. However, perhaps combining some of the above wrecks could be "famous" too, ie "Sweatheart -Please No Frilly Crap, just a BIG 8... hmmmm... mebbe not. I howled at these wrecks... too funny!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

@Panya, I've long been intrigued by trying to pronounce words in Polish (one book "A Question of Honor" gave some great tips). However, when I see "Wszystkiego Najlepszego" as the Polish for "Happy Birthday", I want to buy you a couple of vowels.

For what it's worth, on the second cake...they stuff that looks like the mummy in the upper right hand corner is a sadly executed rose whose "work" should be covered by leaves or something.

"Happy Birthday With No Frilly Crap" is the BEST!!!! What fun!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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