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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul152015

The Far Side of the Bakery

During the traditional "Ongo Longo" dance, the natives express thanks for the year's crops, the tribe's health, and for the glandular defect running rampant in the island's pigs.

 

The scientists found that results were mixed. Some mice seemed to enjoy the whistling spleen, while others were petrified beyond all bowel control.

 

As the minutes ticked by, Elmo realized with dawning horror that this was one staring contest he might not win.

 

Batman would later have cause to regret his rather insensitive "manual control" quip.

 

Wall-E considered. On the one hand, he adored Eve and wanted to make her happy. But on the other, he was surrounded by mounds of crap.

 

Thanks to Susan S., Beth M., Kimmi D., Bianca S., & Karen P. for the wrecks, and to Gary Larson for allowing me to be raised on The Far Side.

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Reader Comments (27)

{Scrambling for an explanation} the first one looks like the parents brought the cake home, took it out of the box, and while they were busy with last-minute party preparations...... a younger sibling thought they would decorate the one corner they could reach and make a little bed for their piggy. Yeah, that must be why.
The second one --- Jen I do believe that is the best caption of 2015. So far. I have faith in you.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

"Whistling spleen" is the best thing I've read, seen, heard in forever. I'm going to do my best to use that in conversation today.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

I rather like the pig roast cake. You're right though-- what a honkin' big porker!

What the HELL is the mouse cake supposed to be? !!

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

OMG OMG THE PETRIFIED MOUSE! I'll be snorting over that all day!

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarina

WTF is the pink thing on cake 2 actually supposed to be?

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Whistling Spleen????😄😂😂😂😂😆👍

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Whistling spleen is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Hahahahaha. Spleen. *giggles like a twelve year old boy*

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Whistling Spleen! LOVE IT. If only this site was around in my Medic Days. I would have loved to call in to the Hospital in route to the ER with "We have a Male, approx. 35 yrs, history of High BP, Involved in a MVA with possible WHISTLING SPLEEN! Patient complains of lower abdominal pain. Upon examination of the lower ab. area, tender to touch and hear a whistling tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy from the area. Rule out WHISTLING SPLEEN! Imagine the ER staff getting THAT transmission!

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

What was the second cake supposed to be O_o

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I get the bloated pig carcass washed up on the beach, but did they have to surround it with real rocks (choking size no less)?! Katie and Andrew are turning 2, why not toss on some open bottles of pills and household cleaners?! Staring at that cake I know how that mouse and the Elmo with the bleeding eyes must feel.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBlackChocobo

The decorator for the first cake was in such a hurry they forgot to dot the "i" and cross the "t" in Birthday ...

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Brilliance. Pure brilliance.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Now that Bloom County is coming back, I've been hoping the same for Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side. Funny that this posting should be a tribute to Mr. Larson. Bummer of a birthmark, Hal. My favorite line.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie!!

But mommy, why are Elmo's eyes bleeding?

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

The first cake is obviously a tribute to hogzilla!

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

1) Whistling Spleen is the name of my new garage band.

2) "As the minutes ticked by…". I bow in respect for the awesomeness of this line.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRay

BlackChocobo,

Not sure it makes it THAT much better, but those rocks are actually candies.
They are made of chocolate but look a LOT like rocks and taste wonderful. We used them on a Gingerbread house a few years back (the ones I didn't eat first at least).

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Cake 1:A frosty day in paradise? Maybe a little 2, 2 frosty? The natives are dancing their asses off trying to keep warm. As soon as they find a match, they're going to have a pig roast. (What do you mean, "there's no match for that"?) Also, I don't remember there being a "Katie" or an "Andrew" in "Lord of the Flies". I guess I'll have to revisit that island.
@Gina: I don't know what it is, either. Maybe a pink ocarina. Anyway, the two of them appear to be enjoying a rousing game of Tiddly Petals. =^-.-^=

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ BlackChocobo - don't worry, those are jelly beans made to look like rocks. We sell them all the time.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

Unbeknownst to the natives, their traditional "Ongoing Longo" dance of thanksgiving was about to be ruined by a surprise attack of the "number twos."

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Jen,

Thanks! I needed that.

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

It looks like there are little mouse "blips" right next to the whistling spleen. If that's the case, it may not be just the WS's mere existence that strikes fear into the hearts of Mousedom. I believe that the mouse is scared you-know-what-less because his friend has just become the latest victim of the evil spleen.

Wait, is that a faint whistling I hear in down the hall? Aieeeeee!

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Ongo Longo--I KNEW it reminded me of something! It's been bugging me all day (almost). OOMPA LOOMPAS!!! From "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (Roald Dahl )-one of my favorite writers. Now I'll be able to sleep tonight. Thanks, guys! Maybe the poop-mounds weren't a total waste.... ;-}

July 15, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

And a 2-year-old would want a pig roast cake with dancing natives because...?

July 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

I am dying of laughter at poor Batman being run over by the Batmobile. At least that's what it looks like to me lol.

July 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

"Batman! Not that button! That's not the overdrive button, that's the eject butt-- Oh, never mind. Too late."

Usually there is one particular cake in a post that makes me decorate my keyboard with coffee. This entry is outstanding--ALL of them gave me coffee troubles. If I have to die choking to death, I hope it's because I'm laughing. Thank you for this!

July 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Hi Jen...I love your blog..read it most days...anywho..if you goggle the c l a n g e r s ( sorry for spacing..pc keeps putting in the word changers!) I think you may find the answer to the whistling spleen cake...! Love from the uk Lisa x

December 6, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlisaloo

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