BEAR VAGINAS FOR EVERYBODY!
June 25, 2015 Everyone's going nuts this week about the baby shower cake with bear vaginas on it.
Not bare vaginas, mind you; BEAR vaginas:
;)
See?
ENHANCE!
;)
The bakery claims those are NOT vaginas, of course; they're "seams."
Crotch seams.
On teddies.
For a christening.
[ ... ]
[side eye]
;)
Hey, don't look at me. My lips are sealed.
But I have no doubt the truth will soon be laid bear bare.
In addition to making an otherwise great cake, the bakery also gave the irate mom some flowers to cover the bear-y baby cannons*, so when push comes to shove, I say we cut them some slack. Sure, it might rub you the wrong way, but remember: sometimes this kind of reproduction can really hit the spot.
[*"Baby cannons" is my new favorite euphemism. THANKS, INTERNET.]
A standing ovulation for all of you who sent in this article. Thanks for all the hooing and hawing!
*****
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Reader Comments (57)
Apparently Aussies call contractions "fanny daggers" so you can add that to the list of great euphemisms.
A little late to the party, but there is a picture of the boy version of this cake with the same 'seam'...even weirder to me.
"Baby Cannon" gives me the oddest mental picture of birth...
I've totally seen teddy bears with a seam right there, so it didn't even phase me until it was pointed out. But the flowers they used to "cover" the bears was even better! omg!
Perfect 30-year underaged bachelor party cake.
Also perfect making people of the female variety want to kill the people who made this abomiCAKEtion.
It's a beautiful cake! The baker is innocent! (TOOOOOO INNOCENT)
So there are no dirty jokes waiting to be made then