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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May222015

Friday Favs 5/22/15

Some of my favorite new submissions this week.

 

Graduation cakes are still comin' in hot and wrecky, as evidenced by this Facebook sub from Maggie:

So. Many. Facepalms.

Plus, note all the extra enthusiasm that ending period conveys. I mean, really, CONTAIN YOURSELF, BAKER.

 

Here's a baker who CAN write "congratulations," but has trouble when asked to add a "grad hat" for decoration:

Spelling: B -

Reading Comprehension: Ermmm.... What?

 

Here's one that *I* cannot comprehend:

OH NO YOU DID NOT. 

 

It's really the best kind of luck:

 

And finally, Rebecca M. ordered this pretty ombré design for her friend's birthday:

 

Her friend is visually impaired, so Rebecca asked the baker to be sure to write "Happy Birthday" on top in the darkest shade of pink. Otherwise, she explained, her friend might have trouble seeing it.

This is what she got:

0.O

I'd like to take back all my facepalms from before, please, and re-apply them here. Times a million.

 

Thanks to Maggie V., Dani S., Andrew, Leah P., & Rebecca M., who assures me there's writing on that thing, but darned if I can see it.

*****

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Reader Comments (43)

That last one has me singing (in my head): "I'm all about that cake, about that cake - no Tribbles".

That joke has probably already been used on this blog, hasn't it?

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

...I'd sort of like to see the last one under blacklight just to see if there is even the slightest difference in color between the writing and the rest of the cake.

Also, with nearly everyone having a smartphone and google being pretty good at spelling - why couldn't the first baker just ask google how to spell congratulations? Or why couldn't the nurse write it down? I know, one does not apply logic to these situations. At least it's not as bad as the time the baker told me to just write it myself on my brother's graduation cake...

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Whew! It's a good thing the decorator of cake #4 didn't attempt a really fancy style of script. That cake may have ended up stating "God Suck Jessica". Oooooo, Baaaaaad!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

"Why doesn't Commissioner Gordon clean up after Spidey? All these cobwebs are just a nuisance!" Batman thought to himself, not for the first time.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Despite the lack of ombre, the last one actually is decorated pretty well. But the writing? Scratching my head.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Saddest about last cake because the cake - though all one color - looks like the dream one.

Then the have to so it ALL one color and the saying same shade.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Yes, "Congratulations Nurses" would challenge many, many decorators. It's pretty complex and rarely seen on pastry. Fortunately, Maggie accepted the limitations of the decorator and settled. Imagine if she'd been insistent: "Conjugation Nooses!" Or "Contraption Noses?" or "Conception Newses?!" may have resulted.
#4 just makes me sad. Ordered flowers for my mom, also visually impaired. I requested something bright and fragrant. What did she get? A yellow chrysanthamum plant! And it wasn't even the bright yellow. So.Sad.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

#s.marie sssshhh, don't tell Jen, or she'll start a whole new thing on flower wrecks. ;)

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Well, at least the wreckerator of the last cake put everyone on the same level o ability. Because NO ONE can read that cake. Sigh. . . . .

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Cake 3: You hired a committee of Ty Cobb, Gale Sondergaard, and Adam West to decorate your cake. Tigers and spiders and bats? Oh, my

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

The extra "O" in "God luck" must have been used up to make that extra "C" in Jessicca.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

That last one...
wow...
I just...
I can't...
So many facepalms.
So very many facepalms.
Ouch.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

That last one O_o

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Wrecorator- "Congratulations is just too hard, can I write Yay!?"
Customer- "Yeah"
Wrecorator- "Yeah?"
Resigned customer- "Yeah."
Wrecorator- "Oh well, yeah nurses. it is"

I don't actually believe this, I believe that the wrecorator just doesn't know how to spell yay, but I'm trying to be less judgmental when it comes to idiots :) I'm not sure it's working though.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

The last cake, obviously, is in observance of National Sea Anemone Day. Oh, there isn't such a holiday? Where there should be! But if it does happen, don't ask the baker to spell it!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

That last one just made me spit my soda across the room laughing! Wow!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

The last one, Rebecca's cake, it's really too bad. It could have been especially pretty with the different shades of icing and the contrasting writing on the top. It's still pretty with the swirls of icing, but for the script to be the exact same color ... *facepalm*

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Braille. Perhaps the writing on the ombré cake is written in Braille. Yes, that must be it...

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

So if the baker in #1 suggested the cake say "Yay Nurses" why did she then write "Yeah Nurses"? They are 2 different words! Sad -this girl not only didn't get what she wanted, she didn't even get the lazy alternative. Yeah baker!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBetsy

Even the Pink Panther would of gotten sick at that last cake!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

And yet another day where my keyboard and computer screens are imperiled by nearly spitting my popcorn out because laughter. That last one is the epitome of Cake Wrecks cake wreckiness.
Bravo!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Even my four year old thinks that last cake is "just ridiculous".

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKDot

"Congratulations" may have been too difficult to fit on the pre-decorated round cake. There wasn't much room.

With the typical writing width of buttercream that grocery store bakeries tend to use, it's often a tight fit on any 8" round cake with borders. And that customer wanted to scoot that inscription up so that it was at the shorter section of the circle-shared area.

At least the employee was honest about his/her writing abilities.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFiery

I thought the 2nd said "Congratulations (Grad + lat)". Their wreck doesn't even wreck right.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAAday

AAday, I agree. At first I thought that one said (grad + lat) as a hint in how to spell congratulations. Then I realized that would be a horrible hint because that's not how you spell congratulations (congradulations?).

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBets

The first cake is a Carvel Ice cream cake and there really is not much space to write on those things. That being said, I would have been able to fit the original message in the available space. A number 3 writer tip and a bit of curving the script to fit the space, it would have fit. I have written "Happy Anniversary and the couple's name in that space. It can be done. ☺

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Bets, I'm pretty sure that at some point, somebody thought it would be "cute" to change to the spelling of congratulations to con-GRAD-ulations for a graduation cake, card, whatever, and now people think that it's really spelled with a D. But even "congradulations" is better than many of the spelling atrocities we've seen on here of congratulations.

I also saw (grad + lat) on the grad hat cake. Because if you can't draw it, you might as well spell it. Poorly.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I am so confused by the Batman cake. As if the webbing alone wasn't bad enough, they decided to use a tiger-like print on the cake below. Why?

Sadly, that last decorator has nice penmanship...if only they'd gone for more than just a shade darker than the other frosting, it would have been a lovely cake.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Well, at least Rebecca's friend's cake is kind of inclusive by the fact that NO ONE would be able to read the writing on it!

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Batman, Batman,
Does whatever a spider can.

Only darker,

much like the last cake.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Yeah nurses, Grad lat,
Tiger or spider or bat?
God luck reading that.

=-)

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@SarahCVT - *laugh*

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Well that last cake.. lol I can see that they wrote something on it but it could say just about anything and no one would ever know. Evil wreckerator probably put a curse on the cake lol. Sheesh.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The last (pink) one does indeed say Happy Birthday.

And it's spelled correctly.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

@LuLu> Magnificent. :D

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

In a way, I think the last one is an unintential Win when it comes to the writing. The decorator made sure that on her friend's special day, Rebecca and all the other guests would walk a mile in the same shoes! :P

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertabascun

And now we're all visually impaired...

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSlivi

The "Congratulations" cake DOES say (Grad +lat).

I'm pretty sure when the clerk was intending to "cross the H," he/she didn't actually connect the line all the way to the right side of it, and the decorator piped what he/she thought the clerk had written verbatim: "Well, if it's '(Grad +lat)' they want, it's '(Grad +lat)' they're gonna get!"

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Spider-bat, Spider-bat,
Does whatever a Spider-bat does.

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteriammonicasue

Am I the only one reading "Grod Luck" on cake #4? Maybe Jessica's a Flash fan!

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

Now I'm visually impaired! Lol

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJake and Me

As someone who stands behind the counter and writes on cakes for customers all day while juggling dozens of other responsibilities.... Might I point out the first cake in this post was entirely inappropriate in regards to the space available to write out "Congratulations". "Congratulations" is a very long word, 15 letters across a small round cake can be "too difficult" to do. I'm sorry, it just is. They could have offered to condense it down to "Congrats" or "Grats" for the same effect, and it would fit.

For more sassy reading customers with impossible requests to filth with a flamboyant Rupaul's Drag Race theme- check out my not as frequently updated blog- https://bakingdisasters.wordpress.com/

May 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBaking Enthusiast

I gotta disagree about the last cake being done well with the exception of the writing. I think that the "rosettes" are too open and loopy ... making me feel loopy (LOL).

June 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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