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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar062013

Oh My, Fair Lady

OK, everyone! It's time to channel your best Eliza Doolittle!

 

All I want is a womb somewhere

(STAT!)

 

I wish you people wouldn't stare

(Excuse me! I'm gestating here!)

 

Maybe a slit right there?

Now, woooouldn't that be loverly?

 

There'll be leftovers you won't eat

(Hey! This cake was half off!)

 

Might I suggest a piece wif feet?

(Cannibalism goes down so much better when it's camouflaged.)

 

Moms are a tasty treat

("Mom-to-be gets the first slice!")

 

Aren't beeeeelly cakes just...


(hurk)

...loverly?

 

Wombfelt thanks to Chris W., Angela P., Dotty McK., Nurse Katie, Tia B., Jes R., and Sasha H., who really know how to deliver a great picture.

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Reader Comments (75)

Strangely, the alien one is the least disturbing of the set.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Those balloons look like sperm. Or maybe those sperm look like balloons.

That fourth one is obviously an anatomy lesson for home schoolers; we're creative like that.

The last one has scary, scary teeth. Is it from Alien?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

I can't help but notice that many belly cakes also feature enormous, anatomically improbable boobs. Maybe this is to show lactation? If that is the case, is there any cream filling? I guess as long as you are being tacky, you may as well go for gold!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrg

I want that alien cake!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

That last cake is just too much. Who ordered it, who paid for it, who agreed to place it on a table where people eat and what is coming out of it? Never mind. I don't want to know.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

Hey! That last one--with the alien popping out--is AWESOME! If guys were thrown baby showers, this would be the PERFECT cake to serve!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Is it wrong to think that the cross-section cake is actually pretty freakin' cool?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

OMG...these cakes are NOT ok! Why would someone order this!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

IN the half-off cake, is that blue thing an umbilical cord or a seat belt?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlittle gator

Thank goodness breakfast was 3 hours ago and lunch is 3 hours away! UGH!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

That last one... Twilight Baby shower- (Bella Cullen's baby shower cake)?
"Why does Emmett always get the piece with the congealed blood?!"

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulianne

Wow, a diagram of a rectum on a cake. I honestly never thought i'd see that. Ever.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteresw

Why, why, WHY would people not only buy these, but expect people to EAT these? If somebody invited me to a shower and they had some cakes like those, I'd either find an excuse to leave early or start hitting the wine bar at my earliest convenience.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt J

Oh my, as an expectant mom, I pray I never see any of these at my baby shower! That orange one is freakishly glossy and the folds of the fondant are just odd. I agree that the cross section cake is pretty darn cool though, but I love science! However, not sure that I'd want to eat it, "hey, you want uterus or intestine?" *blech*

As for the boob comment, I can attest that some expectant moms, myself included, are overly "blessed" in that area and consider it more of a curse.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenK

Where is the eye bleach?! That last cake...

:::rocking in the corner:::

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

The first cake would be so cute if it wasn't what it was. You know what I mean. It's well crafted.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

LOL! For the last cake, I was trying to figure out why they had two bowling pins smooshed together. Only afterwards did I realize there was a weird red thing sticking out of it.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

...what are those things on the table at the top left of baby Bentleys cake? Are they some kind or 'warmers' or is that just me.......

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Yeah. These are all well-crafted master pieces. But I thought a cake was supposed to be edible. I won't be needing lunch today.

I must admit, the smiling "wigglers" in the first one made me smile. Are they really that charming up close?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I hate to say it, I kind of like the first cake(cringes) the alien one is funny in a gross way, while the rest of them D:

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh gosh....that last cake...really???? Really, party-thrower? You WANTED that bloody thing on your table???

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy Bratzel

I can't believe how detailed that cross-section cake is. It even shows the bladder and pubic bone! Pretty cool looking, but who wants to eat bladder?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

... i can't...it's...i don't...whatha...is that...i...don't know.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrhonda

Cake #2, Welcome Bentley... does no one else see those um... um... what are those things in the upper left corner behind the cake??? For the love of god please tell me they are not meant to be what they appear to be. Sock monkey legs? Rockets? Turrets from a Castle? WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE???

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

The "camo" one looks more like some kind of weird Dr. Who / Star Trek disease. "Ack! She's been infected by a Krynoid!"

On the other tendril, I like the happy-sperm cake and the Alien cake.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

HA! I love the fact that the "winning" sperm is gigantic. And is anyone else reminded of corn on the cob when they look at that spine in cross-section?
I could easily see that alien cake as a practical joke for someone's baby shower. My husband would have loved it, just to see the horrified looks on all the ladies' faces. "Baby gets his looks from his momma's side of the family, doesn't he?"

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

If anyone ever insisted that I HAD to have a baby belly cake, I would TOTALLY want the alien baby belly cake! I'd order it myself. And then I'd unveil it at the shower and say "You wanted a baby belly cake? Well here ya go! You're welcome!".

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

3 through 5 makes me avoid cake consumption.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never understand why these cakes are made, nor why anyone expects them to be sliced up and eaten.
I'm going to add a few more "nevers."

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Jenny - Let's go with "sock monkey legs", just for the sake of all our sanity...

I want the Alien Baby cake. Is that wrong?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I look at that cross-section cake, and marvel at the detail and hard work the decorator put into it. All for a cake that's nearly unedible. :/

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

What is the black stuff oozing out of the right side of cake #3?!? Blech!!!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterReagan

First ...eww..
Second...I have had that song stuck in my head all week! How did you know?!?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I lived in Denmark in 1994 and watched - with my host family - a frightening Lars von Trier mini-series (Riget, The Kingdom) that was set in Rigshospitalet, a Copenhagen hospital. Some of these cakes (especially the bursting ones), remind me of the disturbing images from that series.. <Shudder>

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

The camouflage one freaked me out at first because I didn't realize it was supposed to overalls, I thought that was skin tone. And that's just what a cadaver's skin tone looks like during certain stages of decomposition. Urk.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

First thought:
Who wants a boob slice?

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMooseluver

BADKarma and Jenny - Those definitely look like sock monkey (or some other kind of sock creature) legs, based on the color and texture of the fabric.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

I'm going with Sock Monkey legs as well. The other options are just more disturbing then the cakes themselves o.O

@Sharyn ~ I bow to your greatness...

Thanks CW for helping with my diet plan. It means so much that you guys would help a girl out like this....

...off to find the brain bleach...

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Arbitrary cake!
Sagittal section needs to
show baby's guts, too.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That's a whale of a sperm cake! Funny, but not what I'd want on a cake... Or to eat. You know vanilla is the last flavor on your mind. (Yes, I went there, but so did these awful cakes!)

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristyB

Dude....the anatomy cake has a poop chute!

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLMS

I guess I am geeky enough to think the alien cake was pretty awesome.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I have never laughed so hard at all the comments as I did today. Now, for the cakes, Sperm - Family Guy and Stewie - Those who know, get it.

Cake 2 - Took me awhile to realize the 'black' square was an ultrasound 'picture'
Cake 3 - Reagen is right, WHAT is that black stuff? Also, that baby is SOME contortionist.....
Cake 4 - Very interesting details, not sure I would want to eat it, my first thought was, wow, her boobs hang lower than mine (I had 5 kids and gained more boobage with each one)...
Cake 5 - before I read the comments about it being a camo dress, I thought it was supposed to be a strange, weird, I don't know what, it looked, at first like a very stretched belly and those were blood vessels showing! Then I saw the bib hooks too.... Still, weird.
Cake 6 - Again, my first thought was they got something wrong, then I realized it must be a winter pregnancy, cause the 'mom' is very pale and her 'dress' is very 'tan' and still strange.....
Cake 7 - AAAAAHHHHH What is it! eeeeewwww and this comes from a person who sits and eats food while watching shows like CSI, NCIS, that show with the real coroner lady, haven't seen it in a while, but you get my point. Upon further examination, I want to know if this lady is upside down or what, what is going on with the 'clothing'? It looks like she has her bra or swimsuit top on upside down. If that is the case, she is built strangely.....

Loved all the comments so far. Thanks for making me laugh, I really enjoyed it. Now for a nap, I used what energy I had left laughing.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkim

I LOLd seriously loud when I got to the Alien one.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Ok so I have to admit that I think the sperm cake is hilarious, kind of tacky but still fantastic! And if you're gonna do a belly cake, then go for the alien...I'd much rather that than some random baby body parts or realistic looking baby cake, plus pretty sure I've heard of babies being called womb invaders....just a thought.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterk

Yeah, I usually think the belly cake trend is trashy as all get out, but I LOVE the alien chestburster (bellyburster?) cake. I would absolutely have that at my baby shower! Twisted, but rather appropriate.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertaltalnen

The Alien cake made me choke on my white cheddar popcorn. Serves me right; I know better than to eat while perusing CakeWrecks! (It was choke in a good way, tho; I think that cake is AWEsome. But I'm bizarro like that.)
And speaking of baby shower cakes.... Since I make cakes, all my FB friends insist on posting cake pix on my page that they think are adorable, but all I can think is how I saw them on CakeWrecks. It was a Baby-Butt cake today. *sigh*

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Cake #3 - That hand is huge! That baby is going to slap the Dr.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermscubi

The one sperm squirms, the rest are mainly germs.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Just FYI that "black stuff" oozing out of the side on cake #3 is actually supposed to be a placenta. Why it's so small and on the OUTSIDE while the baby is still on the INSIDE makes no sense, but there you go. The baby's holding a sign with a man hand as well, so...

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

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