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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun122012

Hey Dad, Guess What!

Here's a fun game for Father's Day: tell dad you got him a special cake that represents your relationship together. Make a big deal out of it - maybe work up a tear or two, if you can.

Then hand him this:

...and just look at him expectantly.

Remember, if you laugh, you'll totally ruin it.

 

I know you're scrolling down here looking for the answer, but in all honestly I have no idea what that is. Someone told me it's a hat, but I'm just not buying it.

Speaking of which, here's another "hat" I'm not buying:

You know, if it weren't for these punny sayings I wouldn't know what half the wrecks I see are supposed to be.

Not that this label is helping me any:

Um...

It looks like one of those awareness ribbons. Is there some new Handyman cause I should know about?

"Stop Corporate Tools. Support Your Local Handyman."

Dang it, now I kind of hope that's it.

Don't even tell me if I'm wrong; I need this to be a thing.

 

And now, some unfortunately fishy pole action:

Talk about the catch of the day!

No, on second thought, we'd better not.

("You should have seen it, guys! It was THIS BIG.")

 

I think I've featured this next cupcake cake [patooie!] design every year since Cake Wrecks began, and yet STILL the bakeries keep churning it out:

Seriously. Can you tell what this is? NO YOU CANNOT. Don't even pretend. If you can tell what this is, you're probably a witch. Or you weigh the same as a duck. Or you've been turned into a newt.

Harsh? Maybe a little. But you'll get better.

 

You don't mind a little course humor, do you?

Although, really, all I see is a sea-sick Fail Whale.

What, you don't see it?

[pointing] A WITCH!!

Ahem.

 

Father/child hand prints are SO last year. The newest thing?

Skeleton hand prints.

 

(Five bucks says you just counted those "fingers.")

(You did, didn't you?)

(A-HA!! I knew it.)

(Wait, what are you doing? Where are you taking me? WHY IS THIS DUCK HERE?!)

 

Ashley W., Leah Q., Jen W., Matt A., Kathy J., Jessica P., & Kat J., I'm NOT a witch. I'm not. And tell John to stay out of this discussion. THAT LEFTOVER BURRITO WAS FAIR GAME. Plus I was hungry.

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Reader Comments (128)

Tim - "drowning horse making a phone call" Good one. Maybe he's trying to call his Fathare.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

I'm thinking that first photo is (supposed to be) a drum. Top and bottom rims, shell in the middle... Rat-a-tat-tat!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrkadel42

Did you see today's comics about CW?
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=934ed529bdd28c76a7e14ad2d6781c0d

-drkala

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrkala

I *dd* count the fingers! I was totally LOLing when I read that 2 seconds afterwards!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I believe the 1st "cake" is the top of an ionic column. What this has to do with anything I don't know.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanet in NYC

Well, #1 is a very squat classical pillar. Obviously. 'Cause every dad needs one. And #5 looks kind of like one of those Weber grills (you know, the round ones). With flames coming out. Or maybe it is what someone else suggested, a sports car/barbeque hybrid. What man wouldn't love one of those!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueM

I thought #1 was a scroll for a bit, but I wave been enlightened, it is indeed a pedestal. Fancy top and bottom scrollwork and all.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSentath

Ouch this post hurt my head.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnndii

A grill? I'm not buying it. I vote for the headless Santa, but he's obviously wearing roller skates.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I think the first cake is supposed to be a Number 1. (as in "You're No. 1 Dad!"), just sort of flat. And stretched.

But what do I know? It could be a drum. What THAT has to do with father's day is beyond me though.

The Solidarity Ribbon one actually looked more like hedge shears than pliers to me (upside down).

As for the maimed Santa/Santa suit on the floor (I liked this description), I thought those were flames, but I just couldn't see burgers and a barbeque in that. What's WRONG with me?!? I must be made of wood. And therefore....

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

The first one looks like the plastic thing they wind cheap fishing lines on.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymaz

Ok, I AM a witch and there's just not a strong enough spell ANYWHERE to unravel this crazy wreckiness. Still, it's great fun to guess: #1 Pedestal # ball cap #3 Pliers, maybe? #4 Ok the first thing I saw looking at this was Shrek's buddy Donkey wearing old-fashioned headphones.....better than some of the other guesses (shudders) #5 mangled grill, like after Dad's had too many boilermakers and kicks half the legs out #6 yeah it was supposed to be a golf course, but I gotta tell ya, I made a better one in play-doh while blind folded for a party game (even after the two margaritas)& #7 Father's Day comes on Halloween this year??? That or a really LAZY baker.
Sharyn, congrats! Almost couldn't finish reading it 'cause I was laughing so hard!
Jen we could make you an honorary witch...........

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter"It's a fair cop"

Hubby said that the red thing is probably a recliner chair. That seems to be a theme on Father's Day - Sit back, relax, and maintain control of the remote.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersarah

I think the first one is a drum. Like the little drummer boy had. The zigzags are the lacing holding the skins in place. I think. But I'm not sure.

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCookyanimal

The top one looks like a spool winder, the things that you get at the end of kite strings? No idea why you would have it as a cake though!

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEkk100

The skeleton hand cake isn't even acurate. I can point out carpals and phalangies, but there are no metacarpals. Plus, what's up with the witch/duck thing?

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

ok i figured it out

1)its a hat
2) its a basketball
3)ima go with clamps...i think
4)fish
5)its dads chair with a baby on top and idk wtf under it
6)a white gummy bear farting green gas
7) and skelly hands

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNath

The 1st one looks like it may be a sled, which is still weird, and the 5th one may be an odd-looking grill....

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

My husband took one look at #5 and said a car engine, "See the pipes at the bottom?" I'm not sure I believe it, but at least it's a guess.

June 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterR99A

Jen,

The one that you have no idea about is a grill. The one wheel moved over and there is a tank on the right. No, I'm not a witch; I weigh much more than a duck! It took me awhile to figure that one out.

Maureen

P.S. It was great to see you in Pittsburgh!

June 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen Cory

The first one is DEFINITELY a bridge. And as for its fatherly significance...well, unfortunately, I now have 'like a bridge over troubled water' stuck in my head.

June 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon

#3 is a clamp--My husband uses them for wood-working, and it's actually not badly rendered. It's still fugly on a cake.

June 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJean

I'm with those who think the first one is a bridge. I at first thought hat, then drum, but really, a bridge is the one that sticks out to me.

June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunnyDuckling

So I think the first one is supposed to be a scroll...as in "Hear ye, hear ye..."
The second might be a Chinese/Mongolian hat. Just needs a tassel on the top.
I'm going to agree with a couple of other posters and say that it's a clamp, like a handiclamp.
The 4th looks like a unique fish I'm going to call Mick Jagger.
The fifth...a red tank where the wheels fell off or a beheaded Santa.
The sixth is clearly a golf course but it looks like someone licked the sand off the sand trap.
Skeleton cookie....yeah, no idea.

July 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarenO

the red cupcake cake with the flames on it is a grill, i think

July 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

Obviously the red and brown thing is a flaming turkey,the gray thing is a dolphin and a fishing pole hooked on a cloud and the blue thing is a bridge.

July 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChocogirla

The first one is a "scroll"

July 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHb

I'm getting to this late... I totally see the grill now. At first I thought it was a crazy handyman's belt. But if you look, they just put the left wheel on sideways (they must have just gotten the grill out and not yet put the wheels down). The blobby white thing must be the propane tank and the orange blobby bits must be the fire!

I also see the hat now.

I was wondering if the first one was a scroll of some sort.

The last one just looks weird to me.

August 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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