Tuesday
May012012
UNHAND THAT WRECK!
May 1, 2012 You guys have seen the bizarre new meme called One Tiny Hand, right?
It's pretty much like this.
Anyway, as with so many viral sensations, One Tiny Hand has made its way into cake form!
You, uh, might want to brace yourself.
Although, to be honest, it might take you a second to actually notice the hand...
And now, a little poetry.
ONE TINY HAND
WILL TICKLE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP
WHILE BABY BIG HEAD WATCHES
WITH HIS DEAD-EYED STARE
MAKING THOSE MAGGIE SIMPSON "SQUICKA SQUICKA" NOISES
ON HIS PACIFIER.
MANY, MANY YEARS OF THERAPY LATER
YOU STILL FEEL THE TICKLE.
FAHRVERGNUGEN.
Hey Michelle F., thanks for the hand out.
Reader Comments (39)
We're so sorry Baby Albert
We're so sorry that we caused you all this pain
We're so sorry Baby Albert
That we put your severed head on ugly cake
But we gave it a tiny hand, a friend insane
Haaaaaaaaaand across the rattle (rattle)
Heeeeeeaaaad across the cake
Haaaaaaaaaand across the rattle (rattle)
Heeeeeeaaaad across the cake
(with apologies to Paul but not to the wreckorator)
Pacify that cake
before it becomes angry,
thwacks us with the toy.
~~~
Jen, what did you do? Rarely does a cake actually frighten or sicken me. This did both.
My hand is small, I know
But since I'm such a huge psycho
And I might use the nuclear codes
My praise must be spoken
Frusen gladje
@DB: Well done! "Naa, na, na, na na na na, na na na na, hand dude..."
What is that baby trying to climb out of?
I like the use of the "FAHRVERGNUGEN" at the end. YOU are a warrior poet.
FAHRVERGNUGEN: is that the horse Broomhilda rides in Robin Hood Men in Tights? Because that brings a whole new dimension to the terrifying tickling.
"Making those Maggie Simpson 'squicka squicka' noises" made me burst out into laughter...which was sorely needed after seeing that cake. Why didn't they just go ahead and give it one half-closed eye like the baby doll in Toy Story 3, and really go all the way with the creep factor?
♪ He sees you
And he'll freeze you
Hand on rattle to unease you
He's a head case
And he knows just what it
Takes to make a heart race
He got us screaming to the skies
With those creepy baby eeeeeeyes! ♫
Tiny hand looks like it was playing in poop before it found that toy (which my son has, btw - it might have to end up in the trash after that scariness).
Oh my goodness! I think I could have handled the cake, but that poem has crept down into the darkest recesses of my brain and will spawn nightmares for the rest of my life. Jen, you are a diabolical genius! . . . . shudder . . . .
cake will eat me, cake will eat me, cake will eat me, cake will eat me D:
Adapted from Jewel's "Hands"
...
Poverty stole his golden shoes
It didn't steal his laughter
And heartache came to visit him
But he knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a babe who has no arms
There ours shall go swinging
His hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are his own
But they're not yours, they are his own
He is never broken.
When will wreckerators learn that cannibalism is frowned upon in this society?
Would you STOP doing this? You keep giving me new things to be frightened of and I don't want to be the knife-wieiding maniac who feels the need to destroy any cake with a face on it (let alone a pervasive tiny hand) before it comes to life in the night and makes it's way into my bedroom while I'm sleeping and .......whimper....
Uncle Fester and Thing....nah, too easy.
Why is the hand dirty? Has it been burying the bodies from the bloody masacre in the background of that cake? Let's see...at least one Human...a Luxan....a Delvian....
Hey, it's Cookie from "You Don't Know Jack"!
This post made me giggle hysterically, but not for the reasons you might expect...
It was the "FAHRVERGNUGEN".
You see, lo these many years ago when Volkswagen came up with that idiotic ad campaign, it went "old school viral" (to wit: t-shirts and bumper stickers) almost instantly, and some of the -ahem- variations were... Hysterical. "Farfrompukin" was one of my faves.
So seeing that word in a clever poem about a truly unspeakable cake brought back many a fond (or possibly 'fondant') memory for me!
@Haiku Joy - extra points to you for using the excellent word "thwack"
@Sharyn - now I want some ice cream! :-) o>
@SuzieQ - that song always creeped me out anyway… great repurposing!
No redeeming qualities of this cake. Maybe to inspire awesome poetry (but just).
Actually, no, I HADN'T seen the "tiny hand" meme, even though I spend ridiculous amounts of time on the Internet each day, and I really can't thank you for bringing it to my attention. Now I'm going to have nightmares about hideous cakes that want to eat ME. Again.
Not content to wreck the cake, the baby shower, and everyone's sanity, the wreckerator has also ruined a perfectly good cardboard box. It's the ending of Se7en, in delicious cake form, with "balloons."
I always like the cakes where you get free gifts, so there's that....but heck, if you look past the baby (good luck with that), what's up with the CAKE ITSELF!!! It's like some bloody Jackson Pollock painting! Doesn't exactly scream baby shower cake, now does it?
did you learn about the One Tiny Hand thing from Felicia Day's new YouTube show? If not you should check it out, its awesome! It's called "The Flog" and it is a web journal for Felicia Day, menaing it by default has to be awesome!
First we had the 'man hands' baby, now this. When did Stephen King open a bakery?
With apologies to the Supremes (those Supremes, not SCOTUS):
"Baby, baby, where did my lunch go?"
That is a rattle and not one of those Ouija things, right?
"Oh look, he's learning his letters! K...I...L...L... Wait a minute...."
DOC alert: Let's keep the piping bags set to 'stun' from now on, shall we?
Ah-hah, BADKarma, you have just dated yourself...to *my* era!!! I remember those shirts too! :-)
Bonus points to Haiku Joy & Sharyn, SuzieQ & many others! And Suzanne, yep, it looks *very* Jackson Pollock! Must be a very *artsy* baby shower...or very creepy...?Goth, maybe? Nahh, not enough black icing...
Ahem.And now,a haiku:
This is so freaky,
I won't blame you if you cry,
In terror that is.
I suppose it COULD be worse if the "decorater" had used the vampire-baby pacifier instead.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/newborn-infant/d704/images/3341
Oh my -- the hand looks nauseatingly necrotic...
Wow. Who knew creepy baby cakes would bring out so much creativity in everyone? That is kinda creepy in itself!! I love it.
What's in the box?!?!
That is just disturbing. The colourful "decoration" on the rest of the cake aren't any better either
I used to like internet memes, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
I wonder if that meme exists in cake form, yet?
Hmm I saw the hand first thing. . . .kinda hard not to look at it, or maybe it's just really really really hard to look intentionally at that. . is that a face? Oh okay. I was so busy avoiding it I thought I saw . . . wait what IS up with those neon eyes???
@Haiku Joy: Vampire baby "squika squika squika" will haunt my dreams.
The latest meme here is Falling Bear -- since they tranked him 10 miles from here. I noticed his paw looked like Pepper Spray Cop's, suggested to a friend that they should combine the two, and then actually found a Pepper Spray Falling Bear. NOW I want to find a Pepper Spray Tiny Hand Falling Bear.
I don't even know what to say about this one. Just a little bit strange to me. But I did get a kick out of your comentary.
Holy moley.. never before have I seen a cake that scares the living crayolas out of me but this..I can't even describe this lol. Way to go wreckerators scaring me as I am sitting in the dark right now as I type by the light of my screen..and trying not to scream.
HAA HAA!!!! Everyone needs to go watch the SNL Lawrence Welk skit, RIGHT NOW!!! Watch the hands... It makes this tiny cake hand so much funnier!!!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/73360/saturday-night-live-lawrence-welk
Oh my god, it's the zombie baby from braindead (dead alive)!!!
And the background must be flying gore from lionel's lawn mowing...
Cannot be unseen...
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Yikeys! This is... just... disturbing............................
These have a new meaning since February 2016 and the arrival of Deadpool.