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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar302012

Out of office reply

Hello and thank you for visiting Cake Wrecks, where all of your hopes for humanity are dashed on a daily basis. Sadly, we are unable to meet your humor requirements today due to:

__ Travel
__ Plague
__ A pack of wild rodents gnawing off our extremities
__ All of the above
 X  Nap time

Instead, please take this opportunity to entertain yourself by:

 

- Correcting this cake:

 

- Guessing what this is supposed to be:

 

- Brainstorming at least three (3) suitable puns for this:

Always Butterflies: Now with wings!

 

- Writing a short story to explain this scene:

Suggested title: Revenge of the lobsters

 

- Leaving a colorful message after the beep.

*beep*

 

Thanks to Gin M., Lori R., Elaine K., and Anne M. for continuing to hold.

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Reader Comments (126)

After reading 5 "Does it really say, 'Are you pooping'?" comments I had to scroll back up to see what I didn't see. Now I can't un-see... or do anything else for that matter... can't. comprehend. WHY??????

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersam

I am sure someone has said it but I haven't time to read comments. Does that first cake really say "are you pooping?????" Really??

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

Sharyn, I died laughing at "I demand the top bunk."
In fact, I am still laughing.
I predict I will be laughing about that line for quite some time.

When I don't meet my writing deadlines today, I will blame you. "Sorry I didn't get that report in; I was distracted by a visual image."

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

On the "mystery cake" i ser a mouse with pox. Or a kangaroo. I may need help.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

Good god, the stupid is strong with this batch

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The first cake is for someone named Virgiva. It's from someone who happens to also be named Virgiva. That's why the giver of the cake identifies her self as "Virginia Beach Virgiva" (so as not to be confused with the receiver of the cake who must be Some Other City Virgiva.)

The top section of the second cake resembles ovaries and a uterus with two strange green dots, but I don't know what the rest of that stuff is.

Third cake: I have no idea.
Fourth cake: There seems to be a turkey drowning in the ocean. Maybe it's an Anti-Thanksgiving cake in an attempt to promote eating seafood, rather than Turkey!

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

1. Dear Lord, where do I start? From what I could tell, they spelled Virginia 3 different ways, but that could just be crap handwriting. I'm not even going to go into the "pooping" thing.

2. That's easy, it's an Alien Ghost Mouse.

3. Brain tired, can't think of puns.

4. It's been said before, but...why is there a turkey in the water, and why are the evil lobsters chasing it?

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue M

What the hell is a "vrigva?"

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwordphreak

Oh Sharyn... I literally snorted aloud at that version of Frere Jacque

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDreadPirateRobyn

Please tell me someone thought of ThanksKilling with that last cake... ;)

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpreggo jess

Haha, yes hi, this is a disgruntled reader, now left even more disgruntled (in a wonderful way) after this post. If you can, call me back at 1800-CRIMINALBAKERYUSA, where cakes that are a crime are our specialty. P.S. I slept in a while this morning, so I guess I would've felt more sympathy if your extremities were being "gnawed by rodents" because, people, let's be real, that's exactly what I feel like after doing the park-hopper pass thing last week (get it? sore extremities? rodents? ahhhh sorry)

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I seriously was more concerned about the "28m" thing I didn't even notice the "Are you Pooping?" thing *headwall*

Cakewrecks is funnier when you have a dirty mind >:D
So.
Much.
Funnier.
That has nothing really to do with the post, but it's true ^.^

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElsie

"I am sure someone has said it but I haven't time to read comments. Does that first cake really say "are you pooping?????" Really??"

And - scene.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

No, no no! You guys have that second cake's picture UPSIDE DOWN! It's easy to see that it's a motorized dentist's advertisement, meant to roll up and down the sidewalk in front of his/her office. See...it's a giant tooth, all sparkly white (from lots of flossing and brushing) with the possible attack-points for decay pointed out in green! My dentist has one JUST LIKE THIS! I see it when I'm breathing that gas that allows me to relax during his visits.

What??? You don't?

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChenaya

??

A DIY Cakewrecks? Two days after a recycle? Are you guys okay down there?

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

#1. Well, are you? I'm quite concerned about your bowel health, Virgiva, and I thought the best way to ask such a personal question was with cake. So, answer my question, are you?
#2. It has green M&Ms...maybe it's a "horny" toad.
#3. Happy 2nd Birthday, Maya! This is how you were conceived!
#4. When the lobsters realized that the pilgrims were eating turkey for thanksgiving instead of lobster they revolted and now every year they sacrifice a turkey out of revenge for being overlooked as a famous holiday food.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Does that pooping cake say "Happy 28th Birthday Virgiva From Virgina Beach Vergura?"

The second one is Mickey Mouse. See Wednesday's post if you don't believe me.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@Dave: The person may spell her name like that, but the state and town sure don't.

I think the spotty cake is a frog. Buggy eyes and green spots. It's *sorta* frog-shaped.

The bottom one is a historically accurate Thanksgiving cake, as in Pilgrim times, lobster was far more plentiful on the Massachussetts coastline than turkey. The crustaceans are actually swimming to rescue Tom so he can be eaten in their stead.

I'm not going to dignify the other cakes with with a comment.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Virgina is what my little sister wanted to name her daughter when she (my sister) was a little girl. being the older sister I ruthlessly pointed out the nasty things her daughter would be called. She named her daughter Katelyn (thank heavens!)

I also love the turkey drowning lobsters cookie, that is just to "My drunk kitchen" worthy.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

1. Easy. Return to oven until black enough that it is all indistinguishable.
2. You've got it upside down. It's actually Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes? Come on, people, best comic evah!) walking away while mooning you. And he has pimples on his butt.
3. Again, upside down. A charicature of a lambda bacteriophage (virus) with squiggly eyebrows.
4. Wow. This one doesn't even make sense upside down!!! I'm going with SuBee on this one... and I certainly hope whoever made comment about turkeys not being able to fly was kidding. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference with sarcasm. *scathing*

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCrematia

It's time like these when it would be nice to be able to reply to a specific post.

@Kdot: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!
I guess somebody had to do it, it would have been a pretty boring conversation if it was 49 post of "Are you pooping?"

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Last lobster cake -- all I see are Angry Chickies of the Sea. (I swear, those fish have beaks)

And, yeah, I pulled an all-nighter to meet deadlines so I'm pooped.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I think the butterfly is supposed to be an open book.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Lenie - As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could swim...

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

That first cake makes me want to have a sing a long. All together now...better yet, how about in a round!

Are you pooping?
Are you pooping?
Vir-Gin-a
Vir-Gin-a
Virgina Beach is waiting
for your defecating
Have a cake.
Have a cake

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

Cake 4 short story: Gobbles, the estranged pirate, had been injured during a mutiny by his crew, leaving him disconnected from his own tail feathers. After walking the plank, Gobbles was left abandoned and as good as shark Thanksgiving. Soon, though, it became even worse for Gobbles. The Lobsters of the Deep, the rumored scallywags of the open ocean, tormenting the lost souls of many a seaman, had found him! Gobbles had lost all confidence after losing his crew and backside, so it seemed hopeless to even fight it. All was lost, and yet, what's this? The Great Starfish and Seahorse of the sky appeared, floating on clouds of.. of.. justice. Little is known of this crime fighting duo of the sea, but it can be said that Gobbles was soon alone once again. He saw a can floating near him, and.. was it..? Yes!! His ticket to freedom!! The Great Starfish and Seahorse had blessed him with a can of Red Bull! Once he drank it, the magical elixir gave him wings, and off he flew, to commit dastardly pirate deeds for another day.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMolly N.

Okay, I SOOOOOO "get" the first cake! You see, I grew up in Virginia Beach, Virginia. My sister's middle name is Virginia. AND we lived on a street named Virginius Drive. Seriously. That first cake is SO possible. ;)

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I see I'm not the only one to start singing "Are you pooping?" to the tune of Frere Jacques.

For the last one, the 12 days of Christmas tune popped into my head:
... one drowning turkey, 3 angry lobsters and a starfish and a seahorse on clouds.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

OK, I live in Virginia Beach and I HAVE to know where that first cake came from! (So I don't ever order from that bakery. EVER!)

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Octopus panda
opens tentacles hug-wide.
Ignore his pustules.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

1) I just can't. It is just nice, hot (and steaming) mess. :P

2) Maybe it is from Pan's Labyrinth? Like that guy with the eyeballs in his hands?

3) I'm maxed out on puns today.

4) The lobsters are clearly trying to grab the turkey and put HIM in the lobster trap.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim C

Wait...forget the whole "Virgiva/Virgina/Virgura" debacle... Does that first cake say "Are you pooping?" on the side?!?!

Brilliant.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterjkRibbit

I hope there's a bathroom in the Epcot Bunker, cause all this Epcot stress is making me nervous.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

I see Admiral Ackbar in # 2

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

"Are you pooping"? I didn't notice it said that until I read the comments and scrolled back up to look....... since then I've been contemplating and have yet to come up with a explanation..... that was ten minutes ago lol

Cake #2 looks like four possible things so far:

1: a really abstract Wall-E

2: What someone already said which is Johny Five from Short Circuit

3: again, what someone already said which is the loser from Frogger

4: albino mouse wearing a ghost costume


Cake #3 is strange.... I've yet to make up my mind on wheather it is a messed up book, a tampon tanning on a blanket as someone said, or a REALLY messed up butterfly......


Cake #4 has a seahorse riding in a cloud at nighttime apperantly as there is a star..... the lobsters are trying to get to either the drowning turkey to possibly make a heroic attempt to save it or finish it off.......

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Kiwi

@Haiku Joy: For you...

Country music blares
Skews your haiku aptitude
Must buy pickup truck

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sharyn, you get A+ on your CAKE-SAT plus a full scholarship to Cake Rex University.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Colorful?

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnemarie

You are all mistaken. Cake #2 is clearly the Giant Mouse of Minsk

"Wewease the Secwet Weapon!"

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Feeling comment-impaired due to fear of impending Poopcot...

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershand

Kudos to Sharyn!!!!! haha I am a die-hard Hunger Games fan, so of course I was thrilled when someone FINALLY connected this cake/cookie to my favorite book series!!!!! I am always finding something relating to the THG in everything I do (: heh heh... well, thank you for that!!!! And keep slogging away at the series, it gets good!!! (Team Peeta forever!!)

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmmie

@ Sharyn,

So it's no coincidence that today I bought a horse just so I could give it beer? I'm so glad because for a moment there I thought I was going a little nutty.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

CW Quiz
1. When the first 8 comments are the same you have:
a) An Epcot
b) The beginning of J(thoJ)’s first migraine of the day
c) A really good example of a wreck
d) All of the above

2. What happens when you spell the same word three different ways on the same cake:
a) An Epcot
b) The beginning of J(thoJ)’s first migraine of the day
c) DOC mobilizes
d) All of the above

3. Finish this sentence (be nice and don’t swear):
“Green M&Ms do not make up for a complete lack of decorating ____.”

4. List three convenience store staples which might make up for a complete lack of decorating skills.
a.
b.
c.

5. True or False: according to the Book of SuBee, the Church of Jehnn and Yahn serves boiled lobsters on holy days as “Rock Lobster” was their wedding song.

6. True or False: Vogon paintings are worse than Vogon poetry.

7. What incident finally pushed the networks into actual warfare over viewership and brought down the wrath of the FCC (Friendless Cowards of Communication)?

8. Extra Credit: if one turkey is pushed from a helicopter while three lobsters surface during their synchronized swimming practice as a seahorse and starfish ride kaleidoscope clouds in the sky, how long will it take for the butterfly to carry a coconut from Africa to Europe?

@Sharyn I drive a pick ’em up truck (proper pronunciation) and, when CakeCon comes around you’re gonna be happy I do- we can use it as our float entry for the parade.

@Annemarie (hangs head in shame) that took me two and a half reads to “get.” I so intend to say that the next time someone at work uses the phrase “colorful language.”

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I had to lol at the "are you pooping?" on the first cake. I have a toddler, and sometimes she informs me that she has a dirty diaper by coming up to me and saying, "Are you poopy?". Of course, that's probably got nothing to do with why the cake does say what it does, but then again, I can't think of a better scenario...

And, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that the third one looked like a tampon.

March 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Aqua, chartreuse, magenta, cyan!

(That's my colorful comment)

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKippie

Wow. If that was my 28th birthday cake and it said what we all know it says lol I think someone would be returning said cake for a refund. Unless Virgiva is a 28 year old kindergartner..then she could be pooping when she gets this cake. After all it's her party and she can poop if she wants too lol.

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'm guessing #2 is supposed to be Maisy from the children's books.

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershelley

Suggested title: Revenge of the lobsters

(The turkey head looks like a fish with his mouth agape to me, and I refuse to try to figure out why a turkey in in the ocean being chased by lobsters, so for the sake of the story, it's a fish ;) )

The day the lobsters attacked was the darkest day the sea creatures could remember since the oil spill. The fish tried, and they tried, and they tried to get away, but the lobsters just kept coming at them like battle crazed Daleks. The fish had no way of defending themselves from the deadly claws trying to crush them. Theodore the fish, and his starfish and seahorse (Bartholomew and Jim) friends had expected this day for some time, and were better prepared than most. They saw the signs of the invasion and fled, trying to lead the other fish to safety. Alas, it was no use. The lobsters overtook them and Bartholomew and Jim were brutally slaughtered. Theodore was the last survivor, he was faster than the others, but he could only evade the lobsters for so long. Cornered by a hellish turkey daisy, a terrified Theodore looks up to the sky and sees his friends on heavenly clouds in the sky, and knows he will join them soon.

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPlatykey

Starfish and Seahorse decide that the fastest way into the elite holidays club would be to sacrifice the Thanksgiving turkey to the dread Lobster gang.

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

2nd cake The Cult can't afford a real goat anymore so they sacrifice a cake

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEdddie

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