Everything MUST GO!
January 16, 2012 "Excuse me, where's your toy department?"
"Let me answer that question with another question:
How picky are you about licking potentially food-grade plastics?"
;)
Yep, you can always tell when bakeries are cleaning out last year's plastic flotsam inventory. Or, as I like to call it: when Darth makes new friends.
;)
Say, d'you think if Vader were to force-choke Spongebob he'd get all wet?
Or would he just threaten to mop the floor with him?
;)
(Because eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.)
Ahem.
Moving on...
"Good news, boss! This customer wrote 'just make it pretty' on her order form."
"HOT DANG!! Pass me the flotsam bucket."
;)
The lobster really pulls it together.
Of course, there's no reason we can't be artistic about it.
I call this one, "The Meaning Of Life, With A Fast Food Crotch Grab On The Side."
;)
Luckily her hair matches the icing, too, so we might even find a few surpriii-seees!
And this one's called, "Can YOU Say, 'Yooooouuu'rrre OUT!'?
;)
"...'Cuz Indiana Jones 4 Sucked Huevos. Am I Right, Boots?"
Ok, so that title's a little wordy. I'll keep working on it.
"Well, boss, we did it. There's just one piece left - a spare from our old Halloween kits. Should I throw it away?"
"Throw it away? Are you kidding? Of course not! Give it here."
;)
"TA-DA!!
"Now we can sell it by the foot!"
;)
Hey Shelli A., Kris T., Janie L., Jenn C., Lindsey S., Janie L., & Anony M, wheeeen theeee joke seems to fly like a big whoopie pie...that's a moray!
Reader Comments (81)
I absolutely love the eels. That gave me and my boyfriend a hearty laugh.
"...that's a moray!" I don't know what you are on, but I want some! Entire post was filled with hyper-active bursts of creativity. Frosting overdose maybe? Rock on!
(Mopping tears of laughter out of her keyboard) Great Post!!!!!
Happy MLK Day?
WHAT is the deal with the eel?
Don't tell me that's a cake. Can't be. Not with those nostrils.
...well, there goes breakfast.
"I had a dream"...!
-Blondie's Mom
Oh, Jen, I laughed so hard my abs hurt! That's my workout for today, thank you.
The cookie cake with the last piece of flotsam on it reminded me of a joke:
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Another LOL! You are a genius, you know! Love the moray, love the mom's cake with 6 babies and poker cards. I guess if she has 6 babies she should play the cards in Vegas. I know I felt like I had won some sick lottery when they said 4. Not that I don't love the kids and all...oh wait. Cake. Yeah...
Aaaanyway! Funny post!
It's too early in morning to wonder why there are cannonballs on Mom's cake. I'm going back to bed.
And just like that. I will never look at another eel the same again.
Re: Mom's cake. I don't see anything wrong with the mother of six having a wide range of interests.
Lobster fishing, racing, pyromania, bowling ball stacking (?) and gambling are all valid ways for a busy mom to let off steam and stay in touch with her inner woman, Now the recipient of the next cake may be in trouble. When a woman (regardless of how many children she has) becomes dependant on junk food, beer and...uh..."self adoration," her babies may end up being neglected.
THAT'S A MORAY...I totes woke up singing a sole mia, so it must be a trend. Probs. the frozen air of Florida freezing all our brains. ACTCH
I think those eels disturbed me more than the cakes did! LOL Although the crotch grab fast food is a very, very close second. Just... why??
I think those jokes have made me somewhat eel.
Oh, yeah, the eels did it for me, too. Still laughing. Great way to start the morning out here in California.
I will never hear that song again without thinking "that's a moray!"
Asa scuba diver who has been suprised by a moray, this post is even creepier to me than the ones John writes.
What...the...O_o
These are obviously MLK Day cakes. They are highlighting diversity in the flotsam container and excellent examples of everything getting along. Well, maybe a bit forced in some cases, but still, harmony....right?
The eel at the end about killed me laughing.
When an eel
reaches out
and bites you on the snout
that's a moray.
BTW, I'm scratching my head over the fire truck on the "Mom" cake. Does that mean "Mom" is a fire fighter as well as the mom of six who enjoys all sorts of different hobbies?
Fun stuff as always, Jen! Whatever your "sickness" is, I enjoy being infected! :D
I'd heard blogging wasn't terribly lucrative, but it appears it's left you guys pretty well 'eeled.
(I was a bit sad those were actual eels. I want Disney to do a "Little Mermaid" cake set with Ursula's two eels, so there would really be "plastic Flotsam.")
Those aren't bowling balls on Mom's cake... they're her marbles! Which she thought were forever lost when the doctor said "six"! Honestly, though, between the Fire Dept., the six kids, the poker tourneys, the lobstering, riding with the Heck's Angels, and being psychic (that is a Mystic Eye, isn't it?), it's no wonder she has to stack her marbles on the birthday cake, where she'll see them at least once a year.
Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! LOVED the eels! That was a great way start my week. Thanks!
i'm with Bassgirl, i want what ever drugs you are taking/smoking....
When you swim in the sea
and an eel bites your knee
THAT's a Moray!
Thanks for my morning giggles!
Yay, our wreck submission made it into a post! We found the cookie at the grocery store right before Christmas. I guessed it was an elf foot but now I see it is a witch...so it's even more disturbing than I first thought it was. Thank you to Jen and the Eels for making my day!
That last eel's my expression as I contemplate Vader force-chocking SpongeBob ... and getting wet.
So, the farmer and pig at the top right of your first picture actually ARE toys. They're from the Fisher Price Barn set. I'm wondering if some baker's kid was a bit too old for the set, and the baker said, "Hey, I can take those old toys and put them to new use!" Is it to much to hope that the toys were washed first?
Carol
Awesome flotsam post, and the pun at the end was perfect. What a great way to start the day. Cheers!
The great thing about plastic flotsam is the way you can easily address the diverse interests of the recipients in on cake or cluster of cupcakes...
By the way, they seem to be charging for that crotch grabber by the pound! Is that before or after the addition of the flotsam? And is that a candle wick I see? Yikes!
You are the best way to lighten my day. HOW are you so funny day after day after day??? You have a gift. BUT, if there is some secret to it, please share! Love the eels.
Witch accidentally
squashed last ingredient in
disappearing brew.
That Halloween cookie is just "Wicked"!
What's that thing
In the reef
with the big
Shiny teeth
That's a mo-ray!
Can't type--laughing too hard.
Long time reader, 1st time commenting. I just had to. I heart you so much, you have the best sense of humor EVER!! This whole post was just entirely full of brilliant. I was cackling alone in my apt like a crazy person! Which is not far off the norm, really, but this was an outstanding example. Keep up the awesome!!
America's social morays are alive and well.
I've always wondered (well, once, anyway) how these flotsamized cakes sell when we're endlessly told about PDQ or WTF or whatever plastic ingredient we're all supposed to be in terror of this week. I mean, isn't anyone worried that they might get...eel?
"Paella is a fish dish, not cockney-stinking-eel-pie!" -- Manuel
Those 6 babies aren't Frosting Jockeys! Where are the carrots?
LOLOLOLOL That's hilarious!! As usual, you make me literally LOL I now know how to describe that look on eel faces, which is perfect.
When...you....get bit by teeth way down under the reef, that's a moray
When you head for dry land with no fingers or hand that's a moray...
When it's eel that you feel and you know you're not dreaming, oh no way,
Scuse'a-me can't you see way down under the sea...
That's a moray!
My four year old just said "I so hope that's not my birthday cake"
Oh, wait, the eels weren't made of cake?
I was fully prepared for the flotsam cake to read "just make it pretty." I think I'm vaguely disappointed that it didn't. :-)
The naked babies on cake #3 are missing their carrots.
You are totally nuts.
You, Jen, are now officially my favorite person on planet Earth!!!
having a crappy day and yest again, CakeWrecks made it all better. Thanks for the laughs.
(p.s. I'm gonna be singing that ALL day now ha)
No, no, it's
When you meet with an eel
Who has great sex appeal
THAT's amoray.
#4... I... wh... I... it... whhh... Soda bottle?
Oh dear, that eel bit had me cackling with laughter. I had to bring the laptop into the kitchen to show my husband. I'm easily entertained. :D
Twenty years or so ago Smithsonian magazine had an article about sea life that inspired a reader to reply with: "When the ell in the reef/ Nips your heel with his teeth/ It's a moray."
OMG Recovering from strep and this is the first time I've laughed all weekend. I'm not sure what's better - the post or the comments! After reading both, I might just live after all. Thank you!