The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE
July 22, 2011
Heads up!
Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.
Because fetus cookies are SO last year:
Goes great with mother's milk.
And lots of screaming.
Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:
I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.
And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:
In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.
Or, in other words:
SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.
Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.
Reader Comments (413)
One of my good friends is actually the very talented baker who made the last cake. It is most DEFINITELY NOT a baby shower cake!! It was ordered by 2 OB-GYNs who wanted it to look realistic. To give you insight into their sense of humor... the baby and placenta were red velvet cake. To see more of her work (I guarantee this is the only placenta cake she's ever made!) see her website: http://sweetheatheranne.com/ or search Sweet Heather Anne on facebook.
Horrifying...
Seeing this for the second time now. For the second time I vomited coffee back up. Thanks!
Yup. Natural childbirth is NOTHING compared with the horror of being "treated" to one of these cakes at your baby shower.
Um, I'm a certified nurse midwife with two kids of my own and I have freakin' idea what that black thing is either.
@Dave and Karlee Waddoups, those spatula things are used to prop open a c-section incision so the doctor can wrestle the baby out.
But seriously. Who wants to cut into a baby and eat it? Especially at a baby shower?
that is grossssssss
So freakin disturbing, WOW.
Nonetheless, cake is cake and I would still eat it
I almost threw up when I saw the last cake. Imagine how the poor souls who actually saw the cake "up close and personal" felt.
that's gross. just oh ew my oh my how gross. yuck.
What's awful is that the first one is the LEAST OFFENSIVE! Dear Lord what is wrong with 1. the person who ordered these cakes and 2. the baker who made them?!
all of them are gross but 2 and 3 are the worst to me
When I was in high school, I saw a film cautioning about the dangers of unprotected sex. This was long before AIDS reared its ugly head but the film pulled no punches. There were scenes of people finding out they had syphilis, a boyfriend shamefacedly saying his ONLY girlfriend had given him a disease (and said girlfriend confessing there had been one guy previous but it COULDN'T have been he...yeah, right), a girl coming in for an abortion...and a scene of a woman giving birth.
That's right. An actual filmed live birth was presented to this impressionable teen and I have NEVER forgotten it. It made me swear several oaths. 1) That I was never having sex 2) that even if I did I was always using condoms and birth control pills and 3) that I was NEVER going to give birth to babies.
I've kept a couple of those vows and I'm adamant about the last one. If I ever do find myself wanting children (pauses here for hysterical and hooting laughter), I'll pick up one at adoption. There are tons of kids out there needing a home and services begging for adults to adopt them. Why not get one of those ready-made instead of going through the agony of childbirth?
Even if I've ever wavered at the idea, these cakes would put me firmly back on the path of childfree singlehood forever. (runs off to vomit)
this is sooo gross!!!!!
I can't believe that people actually eat these...things! I have to go to bed now, and I wonder if I am going to have nightmares! I honestly didn't expect anything this bad!! So grateful I wasn't eating at the time.
All I could think when I saw that first one is that all it needs is glitter and it could be the Twilight: Breaking Dawn movie premiere cake.
The placenta in the last one is hilarious and gross - I should send my sister-in-law the link, she's about 5 months pregnant - but what really caught my attention was how freakily jaundiced that baby looks.
I'm late to this party, but as a neonatal medical professional, I have two comments - the infants should never be on the surfaces they are, they'll get cold and die, and they look like they're already dead. Dead baby isn't appetizing.
What were they thinking? Honestly!
Holy Moses! This was beyond disgusting... I don't think I'll ever be able to eat (any) cake again.
Wow, I'm speechless. I'd love to speak to the people who made these cakes to learn how these ideas came to life!
I will never look at another baby without seeing "Ready or not, here I come."
Holy Infant so tender and mild.
I only have one word for these cakes:
"Delicious."
(Runs screaming out of the room)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(takes a few deep breaths and peeks in again.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I can't unsee this can I.....
i almost barfed and im a guy
Hey, I was eating!!
Sharyn:
Right after viewing this post, I got the following e-mail from my uterus:
"I QUIT!!!!!"
(That was too funny Sharyn LOL)
I had a full body shudder and threw up a little in my mouth. I have two kids, I watched myself give birth, but for the love of all that's holy, DON'T EVER MAKE A CAKE OUT OF IT!!!!!! These people should NOT breed!
KristenG, why ever not? We happily enough eat anything ELSE that looks like a living thing. What's so special about a baby made of cake???
That last one... The baby looks DEAD. If I were to get that for my shower, I'd take it as a bad omen.
OMG these are soooooo wrong.......I would run away from this shower cake
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
Those cakes are so gross.I think the point of a baby shower is to eat cake and enjoy the food. These cakes would ruin everyone's appetite..Please stop making these cakes! whatever happened to having
a stork or a teddy bear?
WHO asks for something that looks like ANY of these but especially the last one…..and WHO agress to bake such a thing…..
I was just lamenting that friends posted pics of their actual twin babies being held up right after popping out- all afterbirth and ooky womb stuff slathered...and had a pic of their placentas in a bowl. But this??! Someone asked to have this made...out of perfectly innocent cake?! What is wrong with people??
I guess there is something wrong with me but I am laughing like a loon! I loved your comment "I'm torn." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Those are some seriously disturbed baker but thanks for making me laugh!
That...that third one....beneath the uh....humongous exit wound...that small pinky red dot?
I don't think I've ever seen anything so demented in my life
I think I feel the vapors coming over me.
I think I might be the only one here, didn't read ALL the comments but I found these cakes both creative and very neat.
I think the realistic-ness of them is too much for some...but think out side of the box for a minute. I would partake in a cake such as this. I'm an artist and I especially like the last one...namely the placenta!!! It is so cool! I am a home-birther, so maybe that makes me weird, but it's just neat, these cakes, in my opinion.
So whatever that means to ya'll, whatever...kudos to great artists! :)
Ok these are disturbing but what really gets me...after you take pictures and such you take a KNIFE and CHOP these cakes (BABIES) UP!!! AND EAT THEM!!!!!!! Whaaaaaat??? Talk about serious possible Psyc issues LOL!!!!
oh great well thankfully i'm on a diet so thanks for this *puts hand over mouth to keep from throwing up*
Holy crap. There were some choice words I'd post here, but I didn't think anyone would appreciate them.
Wow, someone definitely worked in an operating room, because that is the most realistic OR back table I've ever seen in CAKE. The red box is a needle counter, the spatula type things are "retractors", hemostats, clamps, the white square things are sponges with a blue radio-opaque marker in case you lose one. I only wish that the poor baby looked a little more alive, though. And no, I wouldn't want to eat the very realistic placenta.
WOW!! Wayyyyyy too much fun with fondant if you ask em! Totally wrong turns.
these bakers should be arrested
Yuck Yuck and another Yuck -
Placenta in Latin DOES mean "little cake"....not joking
You would think bakers who have the skills to create 'cakes' like these would have some taste. or at least offer some guidance to the customers who insist on ordering cakewrecks like these about how seriously offensive their cake order is going to be to every other human being on this planet who has to look at it, and then be expected to eat it. These get the Nobel Prize for the most disgusting cakewrecks in their category.
I'm about to bake a cake for a friend's daughter's baby shower. I kept thinking that my cake (with teddy bears and Welcome Baby on it was too simple and not quite professional looking. Then I saw these cakes! OMG! I haven't laughed that hard in years! Those babies! Ugh! The baby in the teacup - looks like something gone wrong from Southpark! Of course the topper was the cake with the afterbirth. However, that cake really took some talent to make. Amazing. Just wrong.
What I love about ALL the cakes posted here are the comments by the author as well as by us posters. What a fun way to end the day! Thanks for the laughs!
i am f***ing throwing up right now.
Just looking at this made me seriously consider reproduction!
I am so hungry now... i think i'll have a bowl of spegetti with a side of placenta for lunch. Does anyone have any mixed baby cheese??