Wreck-A-Bye Baby
June 13, 2011 Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?
Wonderful!
I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!
Hey, a lot of those letters are right.
In fact - and feel free to correct me here if I'm wrong - I think "cohgrautions" may be the Canadian spelling.
You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.
Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.
This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:
After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh? Am I right?
AHAHAHAAAHAA!!
BAHAHAHAA...
...huh?
AAAAAUUUGGHH!!
[blink blink]
Well.
Back to business as usual, then?
Reader Comments (163)
@Sharyn: "WV: folosuc -- The first cake was awful, but the ones that folosuc, too."
Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?
I was so stunned that the first cake was rather well made and well executed that I didn't notice the "beby" misspelling until it was pointed out by Jen.
Then the rest of them brought my expectations right back down.
And creeped me out with that last half-baby cake (really, the body is not in proportion to that giant head).
Pretty sure that the woman the mudflap girl is supposed to represent is going to be more upset with the size of the butt on that thing than anything else!
Great, now you've song-bombed me. I'll be singing "Keep Walking" in my head all day, I'm sure.
Wait, wait, wait...
I get the last one now. It's a stylized version of a baby King Cake. With the baby AS the cake, instead of IN (or on) it. It has all the hallmarks- shiny (read deep fried); bright, mulit-coloured icing; fake gold jewelery...
Bwahahahahaha!
All was going well and then my brain went, 'SCRRRREEEEEEEEECH!!!' Then the crickets started chirping. The shiny baby cake. It's a friggin' shiny baby cake. And then Philip and Jean Claude started saying in their leeetle French ahccents, 'What ees dis, Jean Claude?' 'Mais oui, Philp, mais oui. What ees eet indeed? Ohn hoh hoh.'
wv: onistio
That is one onistio looking cake.
With the third one, I still don't see peas in a pod. I see two scoops of tuna salad on a watermelon rind. There's even a plate of crackers behind them with which to eat the tuna salad.
WV: squerso - But I'm a total squerso maybe I'm not hep to this peapod jive.
I think I might unironically love pregnant mudflap girl.
The last one will haunt my dreams!
It... it's shiny AND it has what looks like a pleather crown. I am so frightened!!!
Like others, I pondered aghast at that last cake, wondering why the head was so big and the rest so small...until I realized what it really was: This is a cake celebrating the birth of a family's first child. Unable to tastefully show the actual birth, that moment is represented by the large head with a crown, thus, the child is "crowning" and about to make his first appearance into the world. The child is on alphabet blocks symbolizing both that he is the first child ("A") and that he is the foundation -- or bulding block -- of the line of children to follow. We know there will be more children because of the small bear in the picture -- this mother will "bear" more children in the future. Now I feel better....
wv - edicrop: plants raised for food
When I ready the writing on mudflap girl's cake, I thought of Maury Povich. "The baby is YOURS!" And now I'm really hoping the cake was to reveal the baby daddy of mudflap girl.
I don't normally comment on my kids' reactions, but today was priceless. Three of my ardent little Wreckporters-in-training (ages 10, 8, and 4) were gathered around behind me as I scrolled down to the last cake; they literally jumped back together and gasped in horror! That cake could be used like one of those screaming face pranks that used to float around the internet.
@Anonymous at 10:51 AM Dang! Now I have Bob Ross' soft voice in my head saying "happy boobs. . .happy boobs. . .now let's add a happy pod. . ." ;O
Oh, how I love those French Peas!
AUGH! Veggie Tales reference! About my favorite Veggie story! And one of my favorite Veggie songs! THANK YOU Jen!!
And too bad on that second cake that they didn't get the same person to write the personal script that wrote "Baby" on it. That was some nice piping.
Anonymous 11:03 AM
said...
"I love the bear trap around the last one's head."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I love that!
And I think it's a very apt scenario.
This is how it could have gone down: the bear, having been saved from injury, happily proceeded to make a snack out of Uglybaby's midsection. Then it felt guilty about it, so it smacked the end and butt together, hoping that no one would notice.
But man! That IS one hell of a head, huh? Reminiscent of something you'd see etched on the inside of a cave (think Palaeolithic age, or so).
=^@.@^=
That last one will show up in my nightmares.
"Keep Walking" is stuck in my head now. I knew there was a reason I loved you.
Oh my........ is it a coincidence that the world's smallest man has been crowned today - maybe that was a celebration cake.......the worst cake ever!!!
On that third cake, maybe the peas are actually the cheese meant for the crackers in the background...a sort of 2 for 1 deal...
Two nekid peas in a pod perhaps? Jen,my son and I got very stern looks from librarian when we picked up your book off the shelf and were nearly falling on the floor laughing. He is 11 and anything half way referring to poo is funny to him. Thank you for the wonderful family moment!!
The last one, all that went through my head was "ohmigod kill it! nuke it from orbit!!!"
It looked like pregnant mudflap girl was getting ready in pee in the woods.-Kerry
I think Mudflap Girl is ready to start pushing.
I like pregnant mudflap girl too!! Wish I had looked half that good when I was pregnant!! :)
"Welcome Prince"? I'm having day-mares and it's that baker's fault.
Man, I *hate* it when they forget to bathe the baby before sticking him on a cake ...
Peas?? I thought they were smiley faced boobs popping out of a giant green martian collar or something.
As for the mudflap girl, I think she looks more like she's about to birth that baby than reclined in a sexy pose!
-Merina
Oh, my gosh, Jen! You had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! Another great reminder of why I need my daily dose of "belly laughs" from Cake Wrecks. Thanks.
Teresa
Nice VT reference, now I have that song stuck in my head! :P
Ok, I've loved this blog forever, but your ability to work in a VeggieTales reference? Priceless. Seriously, you have no idea how much respect I just gained for you. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
thanks for the VT reference; kindof miss those goofy songs now that my kids think they're "too old" for it. WAY better than that last wreck.
Why does the last one have a crown? Why? Is it a king baby? Is it going to grow up to rule the world? Or maybe just run a really successful car lot?
I'd like to say that as a non-Canadian American, I am extremely not offended.
#1 That could be how other people spell 'baby'. We mustn't judge.
#2 Such a wonderful diversity of spelling. I can't even decide what all the letters are, but hey, who am I to say what they should be?
#3 My first thought on seeing these was, 'Sno Balls' (do they still make those?). On seeing the crackers, however, I favor the tuna salad theory. But then, I favor tuna salad anyway. Just expressing a preference, not discriminating against other salads. Or other theories. (mops brow)
#4 "...nothing drives home..." I see what you did there, Jen. That's a level of cleverness one normally associates with our friends to the North. Not that people from elsewhere cannot be clever as well.
#5 Firstly, the sign says 'prince' right on it. So this is not one of those...er, other cakes. It is shiny, though, and has bold colors. I can't say whether it is deep fried, but it does appear to contain quite a lot of shortening.
But hey, it's GOOD that the maker of this cake had a different perspective on things. All these cakes are GOOD. (The next corn crop ought to be extra sweet with all that sugar in the soil.)
Love your site, but not really impressed with your slam on Canadians and thier spelling of Congratulation. This is especially since we are a large part of your followers.
No word of a lie, I JUST watched Josh & the Big Wall with my daughter yesterday...! So "Keep Walking" was already in my head, you've just succeeded in foiling any progress I had made against getting it OUT. :) I agree with the poster who praised Monty Python and VeggieTales in such close proximity. Kudos. :)
Blue,
C'mon. Seriously? We're not slamming Canada! We're joking about the fact that you spell things differently! Aren't there enough things to get offended by on the internet these days without taking personal offense at a joke on a cake blog?
Canadians are awesome. Canada is awesome. You guys probably have the best sense of humor anywhere. I know most Canadians can take a gentle dig at spelling.
And for the record, we bash America way more than Canada.
I can't do comments anymore.
john
Yay for the Veggies Tales reference! In fact my 3 year just pushed pla on Veggies! Win!
Awesome post as always Jen. And Mel... Hilarious comment!
Signed a Canadian who understands this is a HUMOUR blog and not meant to offend. Keep up the great work.
Oooooooh! I thought it was two smiley face boobs in a pod. My bad!
That last one looks like a Roman Emperor after a really, really bad night at the orgies.
John (hubby of Jen) -
Buck up, little camper! For every angry Canadian, there are 100 readers with a sense of humor... There's lots of love!
Do you think Blue would be offended if I pointed out his/her alternate spelling of the word their? Probably should let that one go...
-michelej (who loves her a veggie reference!)
Michelej,
As a 240 pound guy who's never been camping, I am deeply offended.
Btw, is it weird that I find being talked to like that slightly fantastic? I have literally never been called anything like that in my life. I'm sitting here giggling like an idiot.
Thanks for making my day better, eh?
john
"Congmuttons" indeed!
I LOVE the VeggieTales reference - the Jerichoan French Peas are my favorite! Elizabeth
John (hubby of Jen) -
I second michelej's reassurance. Most of us Canadians are still giggling, not grumping!! Keep up the good work.
Hi Jen and John,
I've never posted on Cake Wrecks before but my W/V made me do it: bactot- What happened to the bactot on Shiny Prince?
Also, many times the pictures are missing. Today I only saw the 2 peas and Shiny Prince. I really wanted to see Mud Flap Girl.
Why am I deprived of these masterpieces?
Jellen in MN.
P.S. I know your posts cause many reactions but I nearly died laughing when my daughter was introducing me to Cake Wrecks. I was laughing so hard that I started to choke and couldn't breathe. She was going to wait until I passed out and then call 911.
Maybe that is why I don't get all the pictures, you don't want to be responsible for my untimely death.
Thanks for caring.
I'm so glad you explain what some of these are suppose to be. Two peas in a pod, eh? I thought they were ham salad spread to be served with those crackers in the background.
And mudflap girl. Did not make the connection. Thanks so much. By the way, get a look at the calf on her leg. Wow.
Why do I want to throw basketballs into the first cake so badly?
Re: "cohgrautions"
Uh, yeah, because we Canadians are known for our bad spelling.