You Say Hello, And I Say Goodbye
November 17, 2011 The arrival of a new baby is usually a time of joy and celebration.
Er...usually.
;)
"Well, the stork was busy, so we figured we'd just chuck the lil' tyke out around 30,000 feet. Why? Is that a problem?"
You know, people are always talking about the sweet little toes and fingers and stuff, but you want to know the CUTEST part?
;)
"Jus' wookit dat widdle ootsey wootsey skulley wulley!"
"Hey, anyone else think Julie's looking a little tense today?"
;)
"It's all downhill from here, kid.
"MWUAH-HA-HA-HAAA!!"
Ahem.
"We call this one the 'Tub of Love:'"
;)
"What do you mean, you're not supposed to put babies in full bathtubs?
"Ok, ok, FINE."
[splashing]
[thump]
;)
"Better?"
Thanks to Elizabeth S., Marisa T., Anne J., Emily L., & Jilissa K. for throwing up the baby with the bath water.
Oh, throw OUT?
Um... sure, ok, thanks for that, too.
Reader Comments (77)
I gotta say, I kinda like the skull one. Then again, I live in Salem, MA, where every day is Halloween.
Baby Express has
fast service, poor packaging.
Would buy from again.
I'd be tense too if
forced to wear a hulu skirt
of car wash mitters.
That third one.. did the hula-girl's water just break there? With the baby riding out with the surf? On an inner tube? Cause that's just weirdly awesome.
1. What's wrong with the first cake? The baby is wearing it's parachute, it just hasn't opened yet.
2. Anyone who names their daughter Presley deserves a pink skull cake.
C. This is the best baby cake I have ever seen in my life. In fact it might be my very favorite cake of all time. I'm going to get rid of the framed photo of the Cinderella and T-Rex cake hanging over my fireplace and replace it with this. It sooo replicates my own birthing experience. Except I was wearing a T-shirt instead of a hula skirt and it was a hospital instead of a waterfall. BUT, I WAS wearing pearls. I don't do anything without pearls!!!
4. The "Tub of Love" looks like a "Coffin of Lace."
5. I had two great fears when my child was born: One was that I'd drop her down a flight of stairs and the other was that a deceptively cute rubber duckie would toss her out of the bathtub onto a cold tile floor. I fear my evil duckie nightmares will return. Shudder...
And how can that baby be swimming down the falls, if mom is still preggos?
"thump"
I am pretty sure I peed a little on that one...
Maybe Baby Presley was born on Hallowe'en?
"thump"- diet coke came out my nose.
What makes me sad, is that the cakes are all done pretty well (except that tiny baby in an ocean of bathtub icing), it's just the subjects are so....
For the right kind of parents, the skull one is pretty cute.
You know, the last bathtub one is really well done. I hope the bathroom floor is clean, though .(well, it's gotta be, with all those bubbles, right?)
Great Haiku today, by the way, Haiku Joy! Fast delivery on babies is vastly under-rated.
That's not even a baby skull: It lacks the gap on top (called the fontanel) where the bones don't finish growing together until the kid is well over a year old.
I kinda like the first two - the semi-gothy goodness of the second one makes up for it not really being a baby cake.
The rest though - *thump* indeed.
That was my head hitting the desk.
Is that a Tiny Toons reference I see up there? Surprisingly, I kinda like the skull cake too..it's not my taste, but it's kinda cute :)
#3 and 5 are really cute, until they added the figures....
That last one is one of the least objectionable baby cakes you've presented. I can very easily think of that object on the floor as a dolly left behind (or waiting for) the actual kid. The third one, though--such amazing artistry and cleverness, such a weird total effect, such a creepy pregnant hula dancer thinking about world domination.
I don't know, that bathtub one looks kind of like a coffin to me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH This is all to good to be true. :D THE MADNESS...it brings me to tears.
OK, so all I can think of with that hula one is: Her water broke, is flowing downhill and VOILA! baby came sailing right out....on an inner tube! Oy!
And the tub? It looked more like a funereal bassinet to me. Creeeeeepy.
Regarding that first cake: "With God as my witness, I thought babies could fly..."
W...T...F what are they trying to convey????? D:
I was fine until I got to the *splash...thump*. Then coworkers were peering over the cubicle walls at my laughter :D
The "thump"! Oh, the "thump"!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You people are so sick. And I'm sick for thinking that was hilarious. Keep up the great work!!
What's wrong with sending baby down the waterfall of love?
When I first looked at the bathtub one, all I could see was a casket! The white roses don't help at all.
I like the skull one...It's cute and punk...and pink...
I have a friend who accidentally gave birth on her bathroom floor. Maybe that cake was for her!
I love the crazed hula girl one!
Yes, the first "bathtub" is supposed to be a bassinet, but it looks lie a bathtub with all that blue "water." That's what makes it funny.
Hey, "C"... You said, "That's not even a baby skull."
You're looking at this the wrong way!
You *could* appreciate the finer aspects of it, such as:
(1): It's not every day that you see one of them sporting red eyelashes and skull-bows, and (2): Purple and red REALLY suck together.
So, there you go: there aren't very many finer aspects.
Happy?
Maybe they'll save the cake for when little Presley is "well over a year old," and then it'll be juuust riiiiight.
These cakes are such a welcome relief from the horrible footcakes yesterday. (Were those like footnotes, only uglier?) Anyway, looking at that hula-skirted one was sort of like being at the scene of a train wreck--just could not look away.
Maybe Baby Presley was born on November 2nd (El Dia de los Muertos).
Love this site!! Just wanted to give you another take on the first one.
My baby (10 years old now - 4 months at the time) came via a "silver stork" all the way from Korea. That's what we called the American Airlines shuttles that made their way to happy families here in the U.S. They really were special deliveries!!!
@BADKarma: Thank you! The cakes today were great and your comment was the icing on them.
Heh. In the "Tub of Love" photo, you can see that the baby's eyes are open...
It's not hard (for me, anyway) to imagine that to be a look of abject fear...(" Where AM I? What are all those bright lights for? I'm STUCK! I can't move my legs or arms! Do I HAVE legs and arms??")
@MIMI:
"And how can that baby be swimming down the falls, if mom is still preggos?"
She's not "still preggos." She's pregnant AGAIN. And she just found out that she's going to have the BOY that she always wanted.
What we're witnessing here is the sacrifice- of- the- girl -baby- while-making-it-look-like-playtime-because -there-just-isn't-enough-cake-for-two-kids.
Okey-dokey?
I thought the bathtub one was a coffin. Creepy!
i've got a friend who is a pilot & she'd LOVE to have that first one for a shower cake. :) & frankly, i think the "monster high" skull one is actually pretty darn cute.
the hula one is more than a little creepy though. she looks reeeeeally happy to see baby sent off over the falls.
@ BADKarma
A WKRP reference! YAY!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who looked at Cake #4 and saw a very frilly coffin.
"Splash...thump" That is HI-Larious, y'all!
I love the Baby Express haiku. Well done. ; - )
Now, what the heck is going on with Julie The Stepford Hula Dancer? And did anyone else notice the rubber duckies going over the falls, too?
when I saw the hula one, the song "If I die young" by Band Perry comes to mind.
My friend named her daughter Presley. I never understood why. My sister's MALE horse is also named Presley. Presley is an appropriate name for a horse. NOT a baby girl.
Baby on the bathroom floor? really? REALLY?
The Hawaiin cake is actually really good, just the figures need some work.
Skull Cake: "Welcome, future dead person!"
That "Hawaiian" cake is ... deeply ... disturbing. I've heard of water births, but really now...!!
The baby on the bathroom floor could be there because there wasn't room for it, once the submarine started its ascent to the surface.
See? The "faucet" is actually a periscope. (Have you ever seen a spigot THAT big, in proportion to the size of that tub? Of course not. There you go.)
Suds, some water, and the baby have already been displaced; the baby's little orange T-shirt and green booties have already slid down the side of the cake...the duck and the rest of the water will follow soon. The cake will be ruined.
This was supposed to be a happy occasion.
It's always something!
Any one else think the baby in the bathtub looks like it is in a coffin? Yikes!
I'm not sure which is funnier, Jen's comments or the readers' comments!
Thanks for the laughs, guys! :D
"Splash... thump"
I don't think I've laughed that hard in YEARS!! I'm STILL wiping away tears over that one! My hat is off to you for the best caption ever!
Is it just me or does the second t last one look like a coffen??