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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct032011

SPAAACE!!!

It happens to the best of us: Sometimes, you just run out of room.

The test of a true wreckerator, however, is how creatively you manage to soldier on in the face of seemingly insurmountable icing borders.

Ok, so maybe they're not all that insurmountable.

 

In fact, here are a few more tried and true tactics employed by wreckerators everywhere:

The Nose Dive:

(Cartoon bomb noises optional.)

 

The Double Stack:

Now with extra ellipses!

 

The "Round Abound:"

The color choice is what really sells it.

 

The Second Time's the Charm:

Also known as the "Maybe No One Will Notice."

 

The Cliff-Hanger:

"Y! Hold on, Y! I can't...you're...you're slipping! Y!! NOOOoooOOOOooOOO!!"

Ahem.

And finally, my personal favorite:

The "Stop, Walk (Away), and LOL."

 

Thanks to Leigh M., Brenda S., Holly H., Ariel F., Victoria M., Mike S., Jenny B., and Lauren L. for really exploring the studio space.  Before we're done here, you'll all be wearing gold-plated diapers.

 

Quick Reminder: Just one week left to take advantage of my free bookplates offer! E-mail me your receipts for 5 or more books, and I'll ship you as many personalized plates at no cost to you. Both Cake Wrecks and Wreck the Halls make great gifts, so consider stocking up for the holidays!

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Reader Comments (40)

AHEHEHE, I can so picture how these went down XD

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

When you leave the tiny Greek village of Parentheses, we recommend that you visit the quaint German town of Kindergar.

For all we know, "brithday" is spelled with the a below and slightly to the right of the d, and the y directly below the d. That's how they do it in Kindergar.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Do these cakes, such as the one with the balloons, come pre-decorated? I generally do the inscription and *then* add the roses, etc. A well-placed rose will cover up a smudge where I had to scrape off a goof. Not that such a thing happens very often. (Cough, choke, chortle) And the second cake looks as if the wreckorator had a bad hangover or something. A tad shaky are we?

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what a brithday is. Maybe it's a briss, and the person calling in the order had a lisp. If that's the case, it would explain the falling 'y.'

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

How ironic. They ran out of space on the cakes while simultaneously having so much of it unused between their ears.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

You know, I actually had a dream about Cake Wrecks the other night. Something about you cancelling one of the book tour stops because the person who was going to make the cake for it couldn't anymore, so you decided it wouldn't be worth it.

I'd find this evidence of how much I enjoy your blog slightly disturbing, if I didn't find it so funny. *g*

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily S.

Space: the final frontier.....

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

On a positive note, the balloons on #3 really do look like balloons. On a less positive note, the strawberries on #4 were dipped in... blood? Ew.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

+1 for the TomTom reference. My boyfriend said it Saturday night when we had to turn around one. They're so few and far between here that we both jump at the opportunity. (I have the Yoda voice on my TomTom, so I don't get the added pleasure of hearing Vader saying it.)

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUsagi

The Darth Vader Tom Tom video is my FAVORITE!!! I've watched it probably a dozen times and I still die laughing every time. Nice reference!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKM

Is anyone else's mouth watering at the sight of those delicious looking strawberries? I almost don't even notice the wreck portion of the cake!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJody

I'm sorry, but that second one - I just can't get past the sense that it's surrounded by thirteen...well, let's just say it WOULD be an appropriate brisday design...

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHarold

Kindergar is where pirate children go to school when they're 5, silly. Kinder-gARRRRR.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Where is Bruce Dickinson when you need him?? Cock of the walk, baby!!

MORE COWBELL is what these decorators need!!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHopie

I was watching a Three's Company yesterday and thought about CW - Chrissy was making a cake for Jack's BD and she had Happy Birthda on it. When Janet asked her where the "Y" was - she had put it on the side!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

Spaaaaaace!

(Assuming it's allowed.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeKMS62GrTI&feature=related

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

They're just... Oh, my...

Hey - roundabound! Now I'm okay.

Thanks for the laughs this morning! :)

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Notice also the cliffhanger says Happy Brithday. Lovely.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Lucky the Kindergartners can't read yet...

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The only thing that would be worse than these cakes and the "bakers" who made them, would be people dumb enough to pay for these cakes...

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGraffiti Boi

LOVE the Tomtom video reference. 'roundabound!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Uh hemmmm..,

"E-mail me your reciepts for 5 or more books."

It happens to the worst of us :-).

[Editor's note- I'm wondering how it is that our new host thinks "reciepts" is spelled correctly. Thanks for the heads up.-john]

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNorine

Artex!!!!!!!!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMick

#1 "As a matter of fact, this is my first day. Why do you ask?"

#2 A vague reference to 7 years and 13...whatever those things are (I thought one had a face, but it's just the sprinkles). Maybe the recipient broke a mirror 7 years ago.

#3 Now this one has it all -- balloons that look almost like balloons (ok, brightly-colored figs, but in a first, the strings are straight), ketchup-mustard-blue stuff border and 'congradulations'. The spacing thing is a bonus.

#4 One of these is poison.

#8 A: "Is it 'garden' or 'garten'?" B: "I dunno. Just write it big enough that there's no room for the last three letters." A: "Wow -- will I ever be as smart as you?" B: "That's why I'm the manager."

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

At least the wreckerator paid attention to the requested spelling of 'Kristin' on #3! It is so commonly misspelled that I'm *almost* tempted to look the other way on the rest of it.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Oddly enough, I came to the comments section today expecting to see an Epcot of people saying "The Nosedive cake says 'congradulations'" or something along those lines. I was, therefore, shocked to see that not only do I seem to be the only one who's noticed that, but the real Epcot-in-training seems to be "The Cliffhanger cake says 'brithday!'" Does anyone else here find that a tad odd?

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterzacharyK

I think the last when was what the teacher said when he/she saw the baker's children on the first day of school-
"Welcome to Kindergar- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???"

"(Cartoon bomb noises optional.)"

No, they weren't.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

What is the red, very creepy, pile of stuff In the middle of cake #5? The cake looks like it has been shot and is now bleeding.

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Ok they have me wondering what the best wishes strawberries were dipped in since it doesn't look like chocolate. I can only hope that it is jam of some sort lol. Man if any of those were for me I would probably just cut the part with words and greedily eat it lol.

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Through the magic of click-to-enlarge, the strawberries are dipped in glaze. AKA the red goop that 'they' sell for making strawberry shortcake. Which that cake might be.

The ellipsis is still disconcerting, though, as if the giver is watching intently to see which strawberry Michelle chooses...

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Are they really professional cakes??? I am sure that they must give a discount after that...

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlessandra

The nose dive one reminds me of some of my class notes from University, when I was falling asleep while writting. Good times!

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGenny

Okay. Can someone explain to me why anyone would think it looks better to continue to write the whole word out instead of just putting in congrats when you can see the whole word just won't fit? or after you've taken up all the room with Happy why you wouldn't just go with B-day? Given that thought, maybe Kindergar doesn't look so bad after all.

Just saying.

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersuzeckis

@ LadyAnne
They're probably the pre-made pre-decorated cakes you can buy at from the bakery section of any supermarket. You pick one out, hand it to the person behind the counter & they'll write on it for you.

I also have to say, the last one is almost a shame the writing is actually quite well done.

October 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I like that number 6 fits the second "congratulations", but it clearly isn't even the second attempt, judging by the icing smear on the right.

October 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercurtinparloe

I'm a little sad there was no witty comment for bRIthday. :(

October 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

maybe #6 is being sarcastic.
and i think the last could have TOTALLY been saved by making it "Kindergar10"

November 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternicole

'Happy brithday'... Hmmm...

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNerlyc

I used to work in a store bakery and I admit I have made some of these. The people chose predecorated cakes and then they want long words and life story's on these tiny spaces. I've tried telling them before I do it how they would look but they still insist then get upset how bad it looks. So sometimes the customers make us be wreckators.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlorajane

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