Thursday
Sep022010
Sprinkled With Pride
September 2, 2010 America!
Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!
We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...
...but our stomachs as well.[swelling music]
We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:
But mostly the sprinkles.[music swelling further]
America!
We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...
...but by the size of our ovens.We believe that even our bread pudding...
...should be frosted. Patriotically.Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...
...until it is deep-fried.
Aw yeeeah.
[music swelling further]
America!!
Where even our drizzle is patriotic:
And our monkeys...
...wear American kimonos.
Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.
America!!!!
[music now fully swollen]
And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...
...we know how to rock it.AMERICA!!!!
Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.
Reader Comments (216)
Haha, that last picture is beyond priceless!
http://www.danoah.com" rel="nofollow">Single Dad Laughing
...we know how to rock it.
... And that would involve cock rock?
Great post, guys.
The last cake had me breaking into a rousing rendition of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", with drizzle patriotically bursting left, right and center, and much more than the music fully swollen....
....and I'm an Australian!
OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!!! The "rockets"...seriously hilarious!
The only thing those "rockets" are missing are some "sparks" coming out of them....ewww!
so that last one was supposed to be rockets??? Cuz I saw something MUCH different and profane.
I also really wanna try a deep fried cupcake!
If we can only get deep fried "rockets"...
My mind boggled at the "rocket" cake. The thought process went something like this...
"What the heck are those multi-colored penises doing on that cake? No... surely not. But what could they be? I know, someone will have posted in the comments... ah... rockets, of course! Maybe... Nope, definitely penises. Quite well done too. Maybe it's not a wreck at all. Maybe it's a cake male exotic dancer party."
could not stop laughing XD
Ok, so I really thought that first cake looked like a banana. I mean, a colorful banana, but still a banana. I guess I'm weird.
Also, the rockets...yea. So not the first thing I saw.
The music isn't all that is "swollen"...
LOL!
Rocket cakes....
Heh. I just sprained a giblet, laughing. You must be 18 to eat this cake!
wv: ousherc. The noise I made after laughing continuously at these wrecks for the last ten minutes.
Ohhh that's just sad...I'm glad we know how to spell an abbreviation of our own nation...
Okay! Being Australian, I can see a lot of these color codings rocking up here too, and for some reason, the idea is more scary than I need. Phallic cupcakes and over-sized ego-centric cupcakes. What am I going to do if they invade our lands? Eat them? Feed them to the less fortunate. Anything to get rid of them!
These cakes are not nerdy enough. I am sick of your non-nerdy posts, I am never coming back
Harumph !!
/Sarcasm
Those were truly awesome, and I love you guys! I don't know what's funny the drizzle label or the rockets.
Oh and you know what they had at the fair here (and I presume other places) deep fried.... BEER! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww hot beer.
(Music now fully swollen)
Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah!!!
Well, my first thought, upon seeing the SUA donut was - hey! my alma mater! You see, I went to a high school called St. Ursula Academy...SUA. So maybe, just maybe there's a rational explanation?
I got nuthin' for the rest of 'em. Deep fried cupcakes? I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
Susan B
America is SPRINKLICIOUS.
Those rockets remind me of something else! :)
What a speller on the donut!
S-U-A! S-U-A! S-U-A! The greatest country in the world!
OMG...I just about wet my pants laughing from this post. The "rockets" (if that's what they want to call them) were positively hilarious. Perhaps the "SUA" doughnut maker was a tad dyslexic? (How else could you mess up such a simple abbreviation...LOL!) Keep that funny coming!
Ha ha! Rock out with your co......
Oh, nevermind...can't believe no one posted that yet! LOL
I can't think about celebrating America without this Hugh Laurie song popping into my head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyHSjv9gxlE
Anonymous in Canada
Just wanted you to know that after hinting for months I had to go out and buy your book myself. Then I discovered a new hazard in life: reading Cakewrecks while brushing my teeth. I just about choked, but went to bed happy. Thanks for the memories!
We should be thankful the last one doesn't have any patriotic sperm balloons!
"Touch my monkey! Touch iiiit!"
Life needs a random generator that spouts the phrase "Now is the time on Sprokets when we dance" at unexpected moments.
Julie @ 10:16-- "the color makes me think of guys who would paint themselves at football games. Maybe they paint ALL of themselves!"
With college football starting this Saturday, I feel compelled to thank you for that little ponderable.
--kate
Was just given my green card today
...after seeing this lot I think I'll give it back.
1. That first cake is clearly a chicken, which is what all American food strives to taste like.
2. Leaning towers of flesh are molto Italiano, obvs. And I think you guys know your Italian. (Too soon?)
Deep fried cupcakes?? Oh man would I love to try one of those they looked good lol. As for that evil, vile CCC stomach = bleh! And they couldn't write USA on a doughnut correctly?? These wreckerators need to go back to school pronto. As for that last cake.. ahem lol made me think such evil thoughts that I can't help but be proud that America stands..erm tall lol.
We need this as a youtube clip RIGHT NOW!
I think I dated the blue rocket for awhile.
I could choose to be offended, but I choose instead not to be. Nauseated, yes. Offended, no.
With that out of the way...
#1 That's it -- we need a CCC (patooie!) ban in the very next bill that Congress passes. I don't care what else the bill does, it has to get rid of things like this.
#2 I think they were going for a 'triangle' effect in a very small, toroidal space. Geometry, we hardly knew ye. I like doughnuts too much to let this visual put me off them, but it's an effort of will.
#3 At last -- a cupcake cake that doesn't suck. Well, not much.
#4 IV Pepto, stat!
#5 I wouldn't have associated 'Spud Shack' and 'dessert', but this works, somehow. The way the oil and icing combine looks entirely... easy to pass up.
#6 'Munchie' probably isn't the ideal product name, though it may indirectly help explain the appearance. Now to attempt to wrap my brain around the concept of having 'Nutrition Facts' on iced marshmallow squares... Maybe each table entry says, "You must be kidding."
#7 Another smiley-face nose mutation. When will we start seeing smiley faces on other body parts? Forget I asked -- I *really* don't want to know where this trend is going.
#8 Speaking of unfortunate trends... Mother of Pearl! (I hope Pearl isn't offended -- that's just a family-friendly exclamation.) Three cheers for the... blue, white and red? I can't believe that change.
Flotsam should be allowed for rocket nosecones and castle turrets, just to keep them from turning into man cannons.
By the way, I nominate R. Lee Ermey for the voice-over.
Sorry to double-post, but I just got a close-up look at the bread pudding (and my eyes and brain are still arguing over who made who look).
This could be the culinary equivalent of Vogon poetry.
Sold by the pound?! 'Automatic Price Reduction' indeed -- it should be, 'Automatic Refund'. Note the 'Honey Nut Coleslaw' above it. Who runs this establishment -- Mrs. Cropley?
Team America for the win!
(Ahem) HECK YEAH!
Loved it. Well written and the "fully swollen" music - priceless.
OMG! O!M!G! o.m.g. its 3 letters! 3 letters!!! U.S.A. That's it! How can you NOT get it right!?! You LIVE IN IT. Oh the HUMANITY!!!
The deep fried cupcake made my arteries harden. Then I saw the rockets...
Thank you from the depth of my heart for making me laugh so hard I'm crying! :-)
WV: "stersant" I stersant it but still can't believe it.
While reading this post, all I could think was:
*sings* Aaaaamericaaaaaa...Spread your golden wingssssss...
:)
No wonder we of the non-USA developed world are so...grateful...for deep-fried cupcakes and, er, rockets. Because violence is much more acceotable than s%x.
Jen, have been trying to submit a wreck...but there is a clash between Outlook and Word (no idea whose won't talk to whose), is nthere any other way to get photos to you? Thanks
With the exception of the big cupcake (which was a little busy but on the whole looked okay), wow. I've never been so...proud to be an American. I think.
I mean, I live in the land of the deep fried cupcake. What more can you say? Gets you right there. In your main artery.
Did you notice that the Patriotic Bread Pudding had an "Automatic Price Reduction" on it's little plaque?
@Elizabeth,
You could put them up on Flickr or whatever and just e-mail the link
Not that I, errr, speak for this website or any thing.
i see a smiley face on the monkey!
OK, let's get the music a diuretic to take the swelling down... and someone call Trojan and let them see the last cake... I'm thinkin' "new prophyllactic design... with stars... for her pleasure!"
That was amazing. Thank you.
WV: capoth: Thine humor hath no capoth, but instead floweth overeth into-ith mine cupeth of joy. Eth.
I wanted to comment on the SUA one. In some romance based languages, USA is actually spelled SUA and roughly translates to States United of America.
So that one may just be written by or for someone for whom English is a second language.
SU-Ay, SU-Ay, oh, oh! We gotta blow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
WV: thickked -- arteries just thickked at the through of cupcakes. Deep fried. Onna stick. With deep fried beer.
omg why don't they see it? the people making these "rockets"? hmm. whoops. just caught a really bad typo. used a c instead of an r for rockets. i think that will be my new word for those.