Friday
Sep172010
Internal Wisdom
September 17, 2010 We here at Cake Wrecks realize that often there are readers who simply. don't. get it. So, in an effort to "bring the funny" to our few humor-challenged readers, we have enlisted the services of our intern, Britnee, to help translate. To our regular readers: please bear with us. We will resume our regular posting tomorrow. And now, take it away, Britnee!
Like, OMG! You're totally gonna laugh. So, there's this cake, right?
See, what happened was, the guy that ordered the cake actually wanted actual FLOWERS on the cake. Like, in icing? And instead the DECORATOR wrote "and flowers." Right? Get it? O. M. G.!And this is, like, totally hilarious:
LOL So, here, a guy wanted a cake to say "Schwager House" - which is totes redonk - but he wanted it written out in all capital letters. And get this: the decorator wrote "all caps" ON THE CAKE. Right there! In icing! On the cake! See it? HAHAHAHA! OMG, I gotta tell Kristy about this one.Check this out: so, next, this lady, Madalene, wanted a cake for her son and some junk, and she, like, wanted the cake to say "#1" on it. Well, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!?!
Hi-LAAAAAAAR-ious!!!See, the cake says "#1 ON IT" ON the cake!!! HE TOTALLY WROTE IT ON THE CAKE!
ROFLMAOOOOOOOOO
And then there was this guy, Dennis? And he wanted a cake, for his mom's birthday? And she was like, turning 89, or whatever? So, he wanted an "89" in the corner? And do you know what happened?!?!??!
{{{dying with laughter}}}The decorator WROTE OUT "89 IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!"
LOLOLOLOL!!!!
{catching breath...}Okay, okay... but the most bestest one ever EVER... is when it was Ashlee's birthday, and her boyfriend wanted the cake to say "Happy Birthday Ashlee" and her name has two Es in it and OMG OMG OMG what do you think happened?!?
[hopping up and down] (This is going to be awesome!!! You are SO going to TOTALLY lose it!!!)
Wait.I don't get it.
....
Well, here's John again.
[Sigh] Um, thanks, Britnee, for that thoughtful and extremely explanatory commentary. I hope all of our humor-challenged readers enjoyed it. And for the rest of you, allow me to end with an obscure math joke: Did you know that 8/5 of Americans aren't good with fractions? [Chortle]
Thanks to Will E., Chris O., Madalene W., Dennis W., and Robert H.
Reader Comments (110)
I can't even believe the last one. Seriously, bakers? That's the best you could do?!?
that last one is surely the pinnacle of the surrealist movement in cake decorating
I don't get it.
I see something other than a cockroach. I can't believe you missed that.
No, wait, I think it's Epcot. See the Disney font?
Huh?
i predict that a few negative nancys (or is it 'nancies'?) are going to show up here and comment on your passive aggressiveness, and to remind you that the interwebs are ~srsbsns~ and that this post is all mean and whatnot.
i say, let them get their panties in a knot. it's more fun that way, y/n?
anyway, now that the formalities are out of the way, i love this blog. even the more controversial posts (because life is too short to take everything seriously).
I don't get it.
I actually really like the border on the "#1 on it" cake. Makes me think either there are a bunch of artistic types with no brains for inscriptions, or the writing gets done by a different decorator. Probably the latter.
Classic cake wrecks! I love it :-D
And another obscure math joke:
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I loved how Britnee's comments? all ended in questions? because it makes me laugh when people actually talk that way? But like, this post was like, totally awesome and like, insanely hilarious! I loveeeeeddddddd ittttttttttt!
I think Britnee deserves recognition for her enthusiastic contribution. Maybe a cake for "Britnee with two ees."
Depressing. So many dumb people in the world.
I had to comment because of my WV today.
WV: "misspall" - It's almost too easy. It's like the WV heavens shown down just to make me giggle more.
Ashlee's cake looks like the same handwriting as "I want sprinkles".
Also, I've always wondered what the reason was for dribbling multi colored icing around the border of a cake and calling it "birthday decorating" (the 89th birthday one).
By the way, I have a t-shirt that says "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions"...stole it from my sister. :)
WV: sheds--where some of these cakes should have been put
These are my favorite kind of wrecks! Woot!
I'm so old. I Googled "totes redonk." And hen I Googled "Schwager House." Wanna know what they are? "Totally ridiculous" and a frat. Yay!
Hmmm, I always heard that 8/5ths of all statistics were made up... Interesting...
Like, oh my god, we need Jen to record the audio commentary! Please?
That last cake is lovely, aside from the lettering failure.
I'd always heard the joke as, "There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand math, and those who don't."
And is that parsley I see on that first cake? Like I mean... parsley?
OMGosh that was totally Great! I love it! I was laughing so hard my cat looked at me like I was crazy!! Thanks for the laugh!!
Ahhh...Suzanne :) beat me to the binary joke.
Amy Raz
Do you watch Mel B on the Style Channel? This happened to her on the last episode. She wanted "Pheonix" in the middle of the cake and they wrote "Pheonix in the middle". I blame her husband, he ordered it. But really? why are bakeries so dumb???
Well, 77% of people will believe anything with a statistic. And did you know that 94% of those stats are made up on the spot?
What no sprinkles?
Oh well congratualtions flower.
The posts on this blog are always funnier than the cakes.....and some cake are pretty darn funny. Thanks for all the laughs.
I just cannot believe that there are so many people as stupid as that. I'm thinking that the customers purchasing those cakes just irritated the bakers and the bakers said, 'Here you go you nasty customer! Here's exactly what you asked for!'
I don't know if this was your intention, but I read that whole thing hearing Brittany from Daria would say it.
It makes me wonder why people continue to read this blog if they don't get it?
Hey, Thanks, that sure helped! And I take it someone's substituting for you cos you are both on a cruise, right? {bright grin!}
@Anon at 9:46- see, and I felt redonk because I understood the whole thing without having to go to Urban Dictionary. Course I have a preteen in the house, so perhaps I have an excuse...
@suzanne
OMG that's the most hilarious math joke ever. I'm cracking up here!
@suzanne. Hilarious math joke. I'm cracking up here.
You have "humor-challenged readers?" If they're humor-challenged, why are they reading this blog? They probably don't even *know* they're humor-challenged. Now that's sad.
I so know a girl like your intern. Wow, like, totally pathetic, right, ya know?
Painful, just painful --- I could hear those words being spoken as I read... I think I need some cake to get over my pain...
And so, oh, my Go$h! Readers who have a problem with today's post need to rent a clue. TOTALLY! Okay, okay, okay. So, I mean like... yeah.. like, get a life. fur sher...
Sandy
OH LOOOOORD..... LOL
I really hope that these people either
1) do not pay for these cakes
or
2) are given a free 'do over' cake that has been made correctly.
No way would I accept any of these from a bakery.
The last one killed me...both the commentary & the cake.
AHHH!! I'm in LOVE with Britney!! This was the funniest entry ever! I could hear her voice and I just about peed myself laughing!
THANK YOU THANK YOU for getting my day off to a roaring start!
Holy moly, the Schwager House cake DOES have parsley on it... makes me wonder what the rolled up yellow things are *shudder*
Also, at the end of the post I totally heard in my head the *dink dink* when a cartoon character blinks blankly after reading Britnee's "Wait."
Totes redonk. That made me snort!!
Not that I doubt these are real but this seems to happen a lot. Was watching a show the other day that the same thing happened and it sure didn't look like they were buying a cake from some low end bakery. They even had the gall to tell the gal that it would take 3 hours to fix the problem. Even I know icing can be scraped off! Scary!!
Oh my, Britnee...
are you from my neck of the woods? (that wood being near Hollywood, CA)
everyone around here under the age of 40 --which would be about 8/5 since about 84% of them get plastic surgery-- talk with question marks at the end of every sentence.
like, O.M.G.? this was so funny?? i, like, laughed so hard i almost dropped my Chai Latte???
soooo...... my brain went completely to american pie..... you know.... "so this one time at band camp (insert ridiculously stupid story here) and it was soooo funny!!!!!!!!! *giggle giggle*"
yeah.... so anyways.... yeah.... lol......
Math joke saved me at the end ... just barely ... I'm 25, female, and I have never acted/spoken like "Britnee", but - sadly - most of the females my age from middle class America do so the imitation was spot on.
*sigh*
Parents, expect more from your daughters, please. Do not accept this kind of self presentation. It's not cute.
>>Did you know that 8/5 of Americans aren't good with fractions?
Yup :) And did you know that people can be divided into three categories? Those who can count and those who can't.
OMG, Britnee is so totally going to fit in with the rest of the inmates at CW.
May I suggest that one day you post a wreck with an audio button for each CW staff member (Jen, john, #1, Britnee, whoever else hangs out there like the UPS guy). Have each one record the commentary for that cake.
(BTW, we may have a SunDrop cake festival in my town based on yesterday's wedding cake.)
I think I must be channeling my inner 12-year-old because when I saw the cake with "#1 on it" I read it as a command and almost shot coffee out of my nose laughing.
I suppose that *is* something you could do to a wreck...
WV= emaye: Emaye be thinking that I can spell "Ashlee," but e'd be wrong.
The first cake looks sickly,the one with the fruit?,looks icky,and the "89 in the corner" sounds like a dirty inside joke.
And for those of you devoid of a sense of humor,your life must be empty-So Eat Some Cake!!
Awesome job, Britnee.
That black object on the second cake (Schwager House All Caps) looks suspiciously like one of the extra-large cockroach bait stations we all have in our kitchens here in South Texas.
And that's why I love your posts ... you are funny, being serious, being funny ;) thanks for a laugh! and a few snorts :)