Friday
Jul232010
Possibly the Most Depressing Cake I Have Ever Seen
July 23, 2010 Ah, birthdays: A time of celebration, friends, cake, and, of course...
...dying animals.Notice how, even if the elephant were able to escape the tar pit/Swamps of Sadness, there's a lion coming over to finish him off. See, that kind of thing sends a message. A message that says,
A) this baker has clearly never seen The Neverending Story, and
B) "Don't forget the tissues, Mom & Dad, 'cuz this'll make little Suzie cry for sure."
Josh W., I may or may not be having Artax flashbacks, and I may or may not need some of those tissues. Also, John won't stop singing The Circle of Life. That's definitely not helping.
Reader Comments (117)
Love the Neverending Story reference. You never fail to amaze me with movie references. :-)
ARTAX!!!!!!!!!
It appears there is another dead critter under the price tag. How sad :(
I love how super cheery the writing is. It is completely mismatched with that image. Also, what do you think the 'tar' really is? Blech!
OMG that scene with Artax scarred me so badly as a kid.
And the scarring hasn't faded much as an adult, I must say.
ARTAX!!!!
*squints* Is that not a (patoooie!) cupcake cake? Will the poor elephant rip in half, or topple to his death when hungry party-goers finally reach the centre? Will the lion get his own dinner, or be left frozen and hungry in the wasteland of empty cupcake wrappers?
Oi.... Creativity misplaced on this one, I think, eh?
Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' quite like a mouldy dog turd - yum, yum!
The ciiiiiirrrrrrrrcle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife…
…which you'd think would indicate somehow that you can't make a round cake out of round cupcakes.
I guess that the intention was "bathing in (glorious) mud or dirty water" rather than "dying in a tar pit".
Never fear! Only FEMALE lions hunt. The males don't. So, they're probably just sharing hot weather survival tips!
While the Artax reference would make me tear up, my kid wouldn't shed a single tear over this cake. He would think it was like his book - Simba and Nala Help Bomo, where the two lions help a baby elephant that is stuck in the mud get out.
Ah! Artax!!! Noooo!
I still cry when I see that.
Be positive! Why dont you think that its the elephant taking a bath in the pond and the lion is guarding his privacy!
OK see that wont spin! I would love to know the story behind the cake.
The elephant is drowning in green Jello... uh, very... creative! And, oh look! theres another dying animal under the price tag! (I can't even tell what sort of animal it's supposed to be...) I think the lion really doesn't like green Jello because look! He's eating grass. Strange? No actually. Haven't you seen the south african vegetarian lions? No? Well then your life isn't complete.
This jungle-themed CCC (patooie) is the poor man's version of "The Lion King." Well, #13.88 does seem like a hefty price to pay for the animal figurines.
-French Bean
Why is it that the rank amateurs know that if you're piping blue gel for a body of water, you MUST make the icing underneath it white, so it doesn't look like the tar pit of death, but the "professionals" (and I use the term loosely) can't figure that out? Or do they just not give a rat's red rump?
WV: sestrate -- apparently the baker who did this can't sestrate.
*twitch* That scene still feels me with dread and despair!
I wonder if Mr. Elephant is going through the same 5 Stages of Death like Mr. Giraffe -- clip is from Robot Chicken (cursing featured)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Usm9SpnHYJQ
Since it's FRIDAY and I want to be happy, I prefer to think the poor elephant is just bathing in the Bog of Eternal Stench ala Labyrinth...because nobody DIES in Labyrinth...
On an unrelated side note, Anonymous' comment about a rat's red rump had me snorting! :) Happy weekend!
Circle of Life...LOL...that is exactly what started running through my head upon seeing this wreck!! I guess some wrecks just have their own soundtracks!
Donna,
"SMEEEEELL!!!"
Thank you. Thank you very much.
john (you remind me of the babe)
Maybe the tar is just a polluted river?
How VERY educational. It's just like visting the Brea Tar Pits in LA. Norine
I was totally thinking Swamps of Sadness the second I saw that cake!
You've got me crying before 8am on a friday morning! Artaaaax!!! I should never have followed the link. That was so disturbing to me as a child, heck-I still am disturbed by it.
I never would have gotten over Artax if they didn't show Atreyu riding him at the end of the movie. When I saw that movie, I had a horse that looked just like Artax.
@Joe Polowin, love the Flanders and Swann reference. "Mud, mud, glorious mud!/Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood!"
Gosh, am I showing MY age!
However(ahem!), back to the subject at hand. That is a pretty gruesome cake. The poor kid will need years of therapy.
...that's farked up!
If you need a good laugh to cheer you up, go to you tube and look up the never ending story music video. HILARIOUS!!
As if the drowning elephant and patient lion (yeah, it's just a matter of time...) weren't traumatic enough, this has all the markings of a dreaded CCC! Say it ain't so!
Bahahaha.... awww...
tar-pits are not appetizing.
and now I have to go watch NES - but fast forward through the whole Artax scene because I don't want to traumatize my daughters (If I'd wanted to do THAT I could just show them this wreck)
WV - dereccal - "dereccal" really set them to cryin', better not share.
I'd guess that's a gorilla under the label, between the lion & elephant. Hiding its face in shame, obviously.
Did you catch Americas Got Talent this past week? Hannibal Means rendition of the Circle of Life?
Ha, funny how these kind of things will just pop up all over the place at once.
In the interests of zoological accuracy, I would like to point out that were a lion to attack a non-infant elephant, the result would be a pile of lion goo.
I am still traumatized by that scene! We bought The Neverending Story on dvd recently and I made great use of the "skip" button. It's a much better movie now. (sniffle)
I need cake.
I wonder...does anyone step back when they're done decorating a cake to get the full picture? Because if they'd done that with this cake, they might not have put it out on the display shelf.
Although for a party at the LaBrea Tar Pits, it's perfect! XD
PS: I need to watch 'Neverending Story' again. =)
OMG! That is so sad! I love documentaries and I CANNOT watch those! Turn it off! Turn it off!!!!
When I was about ten, I flooded part of my back yard with a hose until I had an impressive mud pit. Then I sloshed through it for like two hours screaming, "Aaaaaartaaax!" My parents were not amused when they got home.
forget the dead critters, I'm crying because it's a CCC.
Drowning in a tar pit is the new "over-the-hill"
John: "SMELLLLL BAAADDDD!"
Ok, now I have that song running through my head! :)
I kind of like the life lesson in this CCC. The sticker is hiding a gorilla who is watching the elephant's demise. He's not helping the elephant, he may even have engineered the situation, and he hides behind "it's just business."
Now pay attention kids because this is what adulthood is: either a gorilla tricks you into killing yourself for his amusement -OR- you destroy an elephant for your own gain.
The lion about to eat the gorilla represents the inevitibility of death, regardless of your own success.
The circle of life indeed.
Ahh, and I had Hakuna Matata floating through my brain.
Artax, red rumps, Labyrinth, and the WV's are getting to me this morning. Must go find cake.....
~~Di
WV: slysi - I think the wreckerators are trying to put one over on us on the slysi.
So, does the elephant have legs that are smashed down taking up valuable cupcake space? Or is it a legless elephant? Pulling an elephant off a cake only to find it was a quadruple amputee would be the cracking point for me.
Your noting of the lion reminded me of this story:
There is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and says, "This is the BEST strawberry I've ever tasted!"
It has nothing to do with the wreck, but I absolutely love that story.
I'm actually reading the Never Ending Story right now! I saw it as a kid and only recently found out it was a book first. A German book.
On the bright side, there's SO much frosting that you almost can't tell it's a CCC.
WV: buriml. HBD, anml burial.
I love Neverending Story! The Swamp of Sorrows was such a sad sceene! I always cried! Poor Artax! It still makes me tear up to this day :o(
Obviously this child's mom rented out the labrea tar pits in L.A. for this kid's birthday party.
The bounce house, the splash park, the bowling alley and the skating rink were all reserved months ago.