Tuesday
Jun222010
Father Figures?
June 22, 2010 Yeah, yeah, I know Father's Day is over, but if I don't share these Wrecks now then I'll be the only one having nightmares. And we can't have that, now, can we?
Hold me.
Tighter.
"Hi there! I'm the face of your future nightmares!"
"See you real soon! Heehee!!"
Thank goodness for that plastic plaque; at least something here is edible.
So, what do you get for a #1 Dad?
I'll give you two guesses.
Here's a hint:
Thanks to Nicole B., Travis P., Sherrill R., Angie L., Melissa S., & Michael M., who, despite the nightmares, still prefer sawing logs to...er...yeah, never mind. I totally just grossed myself out.
Reader Comments (85)
Oh no, HEB, how could you!? Why? WHY!? I totally agree with Brandon on the Borg Queen.
What is with this "poo" theme running through so many of these CWs? I will not be sleeping well tonight.
I don't know where you are all getting "fish" from. I totally thought it was wolf. You know, Dad, the lone wolf, guarding his pack. The obviously serious imagery of this cake, and the social mores it brings to light are somehow lessened by the "hi dad" pick off to one side.
Leave it to me, but I feel sad about the second...uh... creation. Whateverthehellitis, it looks scared! Worse than that, it almost looks traumatized. Shellshocked even. Like a helpless animal in the mouth of a big predator.
I couldn't eat that!!!
I'd be trying to RESCUE it
(or at least put it out of its misery).
=^x.x^=
As soon as I saw the green cake I thought to myself..."Hulk smash" That plastic plaque must weight a ton.
The first one doesn't even say "Happy Father's Day" it just says "Happy Father Day" The prune eyes also look like giant water bugs. ewwww.
Gross- cakes to make dad barf!
Is that green slime actually radioactive waste?
Isabella has a splendid imagination! She says:
" I *think* the second one is what happens when you try to mix SpongeBob SquarePants' DNA with Squidwards and then smash the offending creature with a nice flat rock. I'm not sure though..."
well said!
I thought that maybe the 2nd cake was SUPPOSED to be an eagle. Hmmm, just a thought.
Oh, keep sharing the Fathers Day wrecks! Sunday Sweets are lovely, but I ♥ holiday wrecks :)
Yesterdays were funny, today's actually depressing. I'm not sure what's worse-- that someone put these up for sale, or that someone may have bought them. (I hope their father was truly so horrible a parent as to deserve that. In which case, why even buy them a cake this bad??)
The first one: at least it's a cupcake mosaic not a CCC. But my first, much snarkier, thought was that it's more suitable for celebrating The Pill's 50th anniversary!
Is the second one a fish??? If so, it pairs "well" with yesterday's "fish hook"
No clue what that face is in #3, let alone why.
#4: is that left over from St Patrick's day?!?!
#5: My first thought was some weird ancient pyramid attempt (e.g. Inca/Egypt/Cambodian) given how stepped it was, but then I concluded that it was probably an attempt at a tie
#6: a well played ball that it's so steamy???
@Albatross: I agree with you that the bad watermelon CCC for fathers day deserves to be submitted here!
@ leftwinglock: love that description of the rudolph cupcake!
I FIGURED IT OUT!
Pile of poo= "Thank you for changing my dirty diapers, Dad!"
Nothing says "I love you, Dad" like a poo cake!
WV: silingo -- silly+lingo, typically used on cakes by professional wreckerators; i.e. "Happy falker satherhood"
There seems to be an unearthly glow coming from the green slime cake. I keep imagining that the white thing left of center is a beam of light glowing through the slime. Is it possible there is a radioactive glow under all that toxic ooze? It's as if someone decided that a father's day cake should look like a science project gone wrong.
Are those supposed to be scary cupcake pigtails? Eep. A face only a father could love.
Yuk yuk.
#2 = dead fish with way too much gangrene and gray poo. Maybe a little less would be pretty....GAG.
The fifth one looked like a cake full of icy stagnant water and the second and last ones looked like something that would swim in it.
I'm not sure how the pooball was supposed to be a hint for the previous wreck, other than it looks like poo, but what I saw with cake number 5 was a cloak. An evil poo cloak. Maybe something Magneto would wear if his power was attracting poo rather than metal. Or as Trevor says, perhaps it belongs to Poo Vader.
@ Albatross: It's a pity your sister couldn't see the funny side of her watermelon ccc (patooey!), we would have loved to see piccies of it.
What is #2 (no pun intended) supposed to be???
Do they only trust bakers with large bore piping tips nowadays?? *flail*
what's that second one? a fish?
WV: beditypo
the scientific name of that fish apparently.
((SIGH))....the minute I read the title of this post, I *flashed* on this blast-from-the-past little number:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_9hfHvQSNo
I had to hear it again or I would've had it in my head ALL DAY.
=^~.-^=
I think I just threw up a little...is that last one actually steaming?? *shivers*
Wish I could be in SLC tomorrow, but alas alack, I have to work until 7. Tragedy! Enjoy my temporary state.
~Ish (from Boston, but posting from Provo)
Those are disgusting.
Ohmigawd, that made my sides hurt.
Heavens to mergatroid.
I think I am going to go hide under my bed and hope those cakes can't find me.. scary things lol. At least they didn't put giant ants on them.. unless they are hiding in all of that disgusting looking frosting.. scary.
A football? I thought it was a coffin. Way to tell your Dad you love him!
#1 Hold me... while I hurl...
#2 Some more. If someone figures out what it is supposed to be, do they get a free electroshock session to erase the memory of having seen it? (He asked, therefore trying desperately to figure out what it is supposed to be.)
#3 & 3a I guess the wreckerator was working so hard on the neo-Mondrian Hitler that they forgot to cross the 't' and put the primary colors in the portrait. Happy Falher's Day!
#4 Oy. Are those *bubbles* around the plaque? Do I want to know how frosting gets that green? This redefines the concept of 'diet aid'.
#5 Dad is probably tired of receiving a tie for the last 500 Father's Days, so what shall we do this year? I know -- a poo tie! I'm sure he was kidding about that whole 'disowned' thing.
#6 If he just can't swallow another tie, how about -- a decomposing football! High five! Keep the change! (I want to believe that cake wasn't left over from last season, even though it looks like it was.)
I'm sure Dad got all choked up over the seconds of thought and effort that must have gone into these wreck-creations. Although people usually don't turn green when they're holding back emotions...
That face is a soccer ball wreck as well as a face wreck.
Oh, no.
Such M.C. Escheresque conundrums hurt m y b r a i n.
After seeing that first cake... is anyone else picturing their Dad dressed up like Sailor Moon?
How about now? >:P
The second one is a hedgehog!! I think....
I know what the second cake is! It's a scary looking hedgehog! I think it is at least...
Hmmm... The thing dads want? The last cake totally gave it away, isn't it a poo pile that has stitches?
I know what that first blue cake is! It is a Y chromosome cake!!
What's with the "#1 Dad" cupcake in the top left corner of the second one? And what the heck is that thing anyway?
Ewww! Recycled cake! That green one is totally a Hulk "Echo Stomp" cake. They must have had an abandoned cake and just slapped a Father's Day plaque on it.
And as for that HEB pooball cake, I really think that came from down the street from me! (and that's why they don't get repeat customers and we do ;) )
*fingers crossed my cakes never end up here*
The "poo" football caked looked more as if the wreckerator put a melted, burnt ball on the cake. Did they bake the cake WITH a large plastic decoration on it?