Thursday
May132010
Jen GraduRants
May 13, 2010 It's getting about that time again. You know the one, don't you?
Thaaat's right! The one where Wreckerators wrestle with the seemingly simple "Congratulations."For some reason, various unholy alliances of the words "graduation" and "congratulations" keep popping up:
"Gratulation"
"Gradulation"
"Congraduations"(Your soul dies a little more with each one of these, doesn't it?)
"Whatever this says."
"Happy Graduations"?!?Oh. Wait. Actually, that's almost correct. I wonder if someone forgot the "L."
There's a theory floating around that some of these word mash-ups are intentional; a "cute" misspelling to save the decorator from writing out the overly long and excessively complicated "congratulations graduate."
To this I say: [rude noise].
Good grief, people, you're celebrating an educational achievement! This is not the time for "cutesy" misspellings! So just write out "Congrats" and be done with it! That's not so hard, is it?!?
Excuse me. [sound of head hitting desk repeatedly] This may be a while.
In the meantime, enjoy your cake with the bottle of urine/beer on it.
(Either way, someone's getting pissed.) (Because in Britain "pissed" = "drunk." See? I'm even funny in different languages.*)
Shelby, Angie M., Briana G., D.H., Pam G., & Anony M., Gradu...Congalu...Gradcon...Uh. Good job!
* Yes. We know.
Reader Comments (162)
Anony @ 2:02pm, you get the gold star for spotting what thousands of others missed! I'll be sure to chide John, my official proof-reader, for missing my "simply" mistake. :)
New idea: before a student graduates (or, 'gradulates'), they must first be able to point out the errors on these graduation cakes. And if they fail: they get cake #5.
hahahaaaa!
awesomely bad.
also, 3rd from the bottom says 'ConGradulationo', i think.
ConGradulaliono??
the sad thing is... if they had just left the airbrushed poo circles off of the cake (and spelled the inscription right) it would have been a really nice cake....
sadness
-Yiskah
I am graduating with my Masters of Education degree this month.
I'm having a huge party.
.......I think I will serve cookies instead of cake. o_0
Or make the cake myself! LOL
Just absurd.
It's ONE WORD.
I can't believe they think it's cool.
Just disgustable.
No one's trustable.
They need to ALL GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
=^>.<^=
In the wrecker's defence... If you spell something wrong in your order, they will spell it that way even if they know it's wrong. (I mayyy know this because I had a typo on my order *whistles innocently*)
After re-reading these comments (especially Julie319's), I get a very large and scary feeling that going "back to school" isn't the answer.
Even the spell check things can be a joke; I use mine when I want a good laugh. The one on Yahoo mail gives you crazy options, and some of them aren't even actual WORDS!
It may sound awful, but when I see consistently terrible spelling, I "see" :
a. laziness
b. not caring
c. sloppiness
d. all of the above
Why don't people want to CARE?
the last one looks like it has a bong and a blunt on it.
I thought it was a bong...that would explain the yellow-ish water.
The last cake (Congrads Ashley) is on a board that has "congratulations" printed on it. All they had to do was copy it!!!
wv: virst
These cakes have the virst spelling I've seen in a week.
On that mysteriously misspelled one, I see "ConGradulaliona!"
What was that saying about crossing your Ts and dotting your Is...?
Ashley deserves a cake worthy of her brand new degree in urine chemistry. Congraduation, Ashley!
-Liz in Seattle
these are funny! they look really good though! (besides the mistakes on the cakes) :)
please check out my blog? i just started
http://www.bubbles-thelifeofme.blogspot.com/
I have a feeling that the "beer/piss" bottle is actually a bong.
It's heartwarming how many of my fellow readers are apparently terribly familiar with drug paraphernalia (had to look that spelling up!).
I wish I had known of your website three years ago! I throw a yearly Awards ceremony for my Medical School, The Medical College of Wisconsin. It's called the Standing Ovation Awards. You can imagine the troubles the local bakery had with putting that on the cakes..... Standing Aviation Awards was my favorite. So this year we just asked for Congratulations! - and they also miss-spelled that!
Bottle of urine ROFL
Getting worried by the common usage of 'Gradulations'. I can just see Websters adding it because it is now in popular usage.... *buries head in hands*
Thanks for the laugh... love your site!
I'm sure you've already seen... but CakeCentral.com had a contest for Steam Punk cakes. There were some AMAZING entries! The winning cake was particularly cool :)
We continue to use pissed for drunk in Canada.
I think the last one has chemistry beakers on it... presumably for a chem major? But when I first looked at it, it looked more like drug paraphernalia! Maybe a subtle hint that someone thought that the grad was expanding their mind with more than just classes? Doesn't seem like that belongs on a cake...
A *hand*?
I must be more violent minded than I thought. I see a flower launching bud-missiles on cake#2. PWWWOOOSH! >boom!< (petals fall)
This makes me glad my graduation cake was spelled properly. My brother's cake was spelled right too but they screwed up the school colors. Our colors are the same as the last cake, maroon, white and gold and the bakery did yellow and green, which are school colors for another local high school. Luckily the bakers were able to fix it, and this was the day before my brother's party too.
Cake #2 has some of the ugliest writing I've ever seen. Was the baker drunk or suffering from Parkinson's?
I had that same problem with wanting to spell it "congradulations." Then I graduated 2nd grade. Congratulations to me.
*clutches dictionary*
The horror! The absolute horror! I know I've seen worse, but the fact people order it that way intentionally is just- *shudders*
Seriously, people? Are we so lazy that we can't write "Congratulations on Graduating". Ok, so it's bit long, but the fact that someone actually misspelled "congrats" astounds me. I'm starting to prepare a eulogy.
"We are gathered here today to honor the deceased English language..."
I think the brown one says "This is not a graduation cake; this is a cake celebrating mud puddles." I mean, seriously, what ELSE can the brown center mean?!
obviously SOME PEOPLE didn't graduate or is it gradulate? Seriously, some ppl. (my google chrome tells me gradulate is not a proper word, maybe they need chrome.)
Congradulations to Congraduates everywhere!
Years ago one of my high school classmates worked part-time in a bakery. As graduation day approached, she iced many, many cakes with "Congradulations" ... and when called on it, said, of course that's right, it's ConGRADulations as in GRADuate. Made perfect sense, to her anyway!
Hmm that last cake didn't look like a bottle of beer to me.. looked a bit more like ahem some misshapen male anatomy lol. These wreckerators should just give up on the congratulations graduates it seems too hard for them to even try to spell correctly..sends them all back to school.
Okay, am I the only person that thought the items on the last cake were a black cigar and a yellow bong? :/
WV: Hensa - The wreckarators cannot spell, hensa lot of cakes are open to interpretation.
different languages...HA! too funny, lol!!! XD
"Congraduations" is definitely an intentional portmanteau. The others...not so much.
I have to say, the mash up of Graduation and Congratulations is a legit pop culture reference.
On Three's Company, Chrissy hung a sign up that said "Congraduations Jack" when she and Janet held a party to celebrate his graduation from culinary school.
Still, this does not excuse the horrible cakes out there :)
Is it just me or is the bouquet on cake number 2 reminiscent of a bloody handprint? And if so, what kind of school did Angie "gratulate" from?
The last cake really looks like it has a police baton and a bong on it. Now try making THOSE three themes come together??
I just like how, on the 2nd cake, the roses make a pattern as though someone laid a bloody hand on the cake.
HAHAHA Your last paragraph reminded me of So I Married an Axe Murderer where the dad says, "Let's get PISSED!" (That is, drunk...) So, yes, even in other languages (or cultures, really, since English is English) you're funny. Besides, "pissed" is just a funny word to begin with. It's entire underutilized in my book. I'm kinda pissed about that. **giggle**
ConGoadulalions?
Okay, I know it's a little besides the point, but seeing as how I am still a person who feels the urge to double check the spelling of "congratulations," I feel slightly irked at the harsh criticisms about how "idiotic" our English-speaking society is becoming. So, I wanted to offer a little linguistical explanation for why it is so easy to get confused about this word (and nevermind how confusing it is in close proximity to the word "graDuation.")
The sounds /t/ and /d/ are synonymous: they are pronounced the same way, except /d/ has "voice" and /t/ is considered "voiceless." (http://www.uoregon.edu/~l150web/conson.html) How we pronounce /t/ or /d/ depends upon the context of the sounds surrounding it. For example, we say walked "walk-t" because the proceeding k is voiceless, but we say paired "pair-d." With all the voiced vowel sounds surrounding that poor "t" in "congratulations" it's nearly impossible for us to pronounce it like it's spelt in rapid/normal speech!
Whether or not people should be responsible and double check these things is another issue, but I've learned from experience that laptops or books don't mix well with flour. :)
When my mom graduated, we actually wanted a cake that said, "Congraduations." I think we saw it on a Hallmark card. Yes, we learned our lesson. The bakery folks were stumped and tried to tell us we were misspelling it. I wrote it in block letters and explained the word. The bakery gave us a cake that said, "Congradualations."
Oh these are so precious. They never, never get old.
PS Love the site guys! And now that I've finally gone and bought 3G I no longer have to limit my viewing to a few rushed minutes at work. I can giggle and sniggle and choke from the comfort of my home.
I feel like the 5th one says "Gradulaliona." Whatever that might mean.
Is it just me or do those roses on cake #2 resemble a very creepy hand?
"CongraDulations" is a major pet peeve of mine. MAJOR. These, as usual, are hilarious.
Anon@12:25 -
"Congraduations" is less a malamanteau than it is a half-witted Hallmarkism. "ConGsadulaliona," however, meets all the criteria for malamanteaux.
@Tigerwolf- spot on with "sucking vortex of death." I was remarking yesterday that what I really need to get my baby brother, who is graduating from high school this month, is a card that says outside, "Welcome to adulthood!" and, when opened, plays a recording of my own derisively maniacal laughter.
And I too would like to congradulate the decorator of the Michelle cake for her lovely penmanship (icing-bagmanship?). It's too bad one must concoct an elaborate backstory for "Happy Graduations" to make sense, because the cake is otherwise lovely.
That last cake with it's personal "massager" on it kills me.
When my mom graduated from college, she had two wrecky cakes. One was ordered from a bakery. My grandmother requested it to say "Congratulations, Peggie!" and have an image of a girl graduate. The cake she received said, "Congratulations, Peggie, Girl Graduate."
The other cake was made by my uncle and aunt who consulted the dictionary for the proper spelling of "congratulations." The text they came up with was "Congregations Peggie."
"Congradulations" I can accept as a pun- sometimes. All the others are just plain fails.
So British people using an English word to mean drunk is somehow a completely new language? Slang, maybe. Language? Not so much. =p