Friday
Apr232010
Dolly Wants to Play...
April 23, 2010 There really is nothing more terrifying than a creepy baby doll. I'm serious. They freaked me out as a kid and still manage to scare the pants off me today, what with their static staring eyes and little outstretched zombie arms and all.
Don't... make... eye contact...
All tucked in, and ready to kill.
"Ooh! I'll take that corner piece..."
"...and an arm. But that's it. I'm dieting."Note: This cake is not to scale.
Usually the pacifier is much larger.Is it impolite to suck frosting off the baby's legs?
It is? Poor taste, huh?
...
Ok, what about its head?
...
Ok, what about its head?
...
No? Fine. I'll just collect my watermelon and show myself out.
Thanks, Valentina, Liz C., Carrie J., and Dana S.! Ya know, these cakes started out as creepy , but now they're looking kinda DELICIOUS. Mmmm.... babies.... grlslgrsagagagle.....
- Related Wreckage: Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party
Reader Comments (162)
That first one actually made me scream "AHH" aloud. I'm only slightly embarrassed of this fact.
That first one? The eyes totally follow you wherever you go in the room...
I fear for my sanity, as my first thought observing the first baby cake was "My goodness, that's far too much icing,that'll make a person sick!"
Clearly, help is needed.
I'm so glad other people are creeped out by dolls too! That and little kids singing slow songs in a minor key!
http://myolderbrothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/guys-and-dolls.html
I recently came across your blog via facebook. I make cakes myself, so one I really enjoy your blog. My 5 year old happened to be sitting next to me when I opened this entry and she said to me..."Uh, Mommy...those cakes are, um, well...scaring me. Those are creeeeepy cake." I told her I couldn't agree more. That first one....Yikes!
Nicole
Oh my gosh, Fluffy Cow-- you're right!
I totally want a bed like the third cake!
The first one is definitely creepy, although dolls in general are pretty creepy and putting them on cake is just weird.
Well the first 2 commenters answered my question. The first picture is so totally screwed up it looks like it was taken thru mud, but apparently it's just me 'cause they can see it.
Anywho; who's the perv who volunteers to lick all that frosting off those things? I would never look at them the same again.
Is #2 resting it's little head on a wadded toilet paper? I'll have to put that into my arsenal of cake decorating accessories. Who'd have thought of that?
That fourth picture? The watermelon?
It’s Epcot.
(Ducks and runs away while screaming, “I had to do it! I had to do it!!”)
^..^
P.S. Or, in honor of the Bard’s birthday today: “Exit, pursued by a bear.”
Is it me or do all these look like babies in coffins or sleepy snow white style babies. Yeesh. "yes mam, I'd like to order me one of those zombie baby cakes. Yes the one with the creepy staring eyes. No, it's not for a baby shower my wife wants to get pregnant and I'm trying to scare the hell out of her."
Those are darn creepy. But as a frosting addict, I have to say about the first one, that buttercream work is gorgeous! If I could ignore the baby somehow (blinders of some very specific sort maybe?) I would totally shovel that cake in....
The third one: The scale makes it look as if it's a cake celebrating (? uh really?) the birth of a waaaaaaaay preterm fetus. For some...psychotic reason.
Totally creepy! And some of those look more like coffins than bassinets to me!
Wow...really can't fathom actually CUTTING into these...shivers
These cakes should come with a "not safe for work" disclaimer. YOU trying explaining to your boss why you just started screaming in terror.
That first one? It's a witch. The instant the page loaded, I was frozen in place by its gaze. For several minutes, I couldn't look away, not even to read the text above it. I think it sucked out half my life force with its eyes. AUGH!
WHY would anyone put that on a cake? WHY?!
I've been lurking for quite a while, but this has finally motivated me to post. Those are just horrible. Now I have "Creepy Doll" by Jonathan Coulton stuck in my head. I think he must have been looking at a cake like that first one when he wrote that song.
Glad I'm not the only one who finds them scary. You think these dolls are creepy. I had a baby doll with the coloured iris missing in one eye. Now, that one was SCARY!
Even so, they're nothing like "reborns" Take alook at these!
http://www.reborn-baby.com/
That last bed looks like a cataflaque --- or however it is you spell it --- the base that a coffin rests on --- so is the baby dead?
They all give me the creeps.
I'm glad someone else feels the same way. Dolls are creepy.
My baby shower is today. I'm wishing I could get the first cake for festivities. Too funny!
John Dash
That first one looks like it is lying in a coffin.
What is UP with those icing "blankets"?!? And the pillows?! Really?? You need to put a stuffed pillow on a cake?! These are terrifying.
Stepford babies. Eww.
The last one looks like they have the baby's head straped to the bed with frosting.
Creepy as hell... but surprisingly well done for cake wrecks... especially the detail on the blanket on the first one.
But the eyes... dear lord, the eyes!
Ivy
I almosted expected to see any one of those dolls to suddenly pop up and give an even scarier look... just like in a horror movie. (I'm thinking of that one scene in Dragonfly where the kid was flatlined and his opened super wide suddenly) *shudders*
Sorry. I meant to say his "eyes" opened super wide lol
I'm sure that no dolls with eyes that close were used because it would look like a doll funeral, but I still don't see how it's better that your cake celebrates the village of the damned.
Babies? eek! I far prefer Barbie cakes. You feel slightly less perverted licking icing off of Barbie, you know. ;)
You'll appreciate this then...
http://i1016.photobucket.com/albums/af282/thriftmadness/IMG_4471-1.jpg
Other than the creepy doll, that first one is actually very well done. For a second I thought maybe it would be better if they just used a doll whose eyes were closed, but then it would look like a creepy doll in a coffin.... the doll thing just doesn't work.
The last one is a troll baby with its hair hidden under the frosting!
It is so cool when the Dollar Tree becomes a baker's one stop source for cake accessories. They have it all, and only one dollar!
I was thinking dead babies, until I read the comment about Village of the Damned. Yes, that's it. Old movie but still so creepy. Think brick wall, think brick wall.
The eyes! The eyes are following me!! And the AAARRRRMMMMMSSSSS!!!!
That last one -- with the icing all over it? Way creepy.
Okay, so these are creepy, but somewhat less creepy than designs in which you are supposed to *eat* the baby. All I can think of is what you are going to do with a big sticky frosting-covered baby when everybody has eaten the cake. Yuck.
It's a shame that so much generally excellent decorating was wasted on such terrifying cakes. Upon seeing the first cake, I thought "what a gorgeous cake, maybe this is the good example for all the wrecks to come," right before, "Holy crappin' crap, that baby is going to rip my face off with her fangs!"
Favorite Bard quote: What fresh Hell is this?
I particularly like that the second one looks like it's resting it's head on a pillow of quilted northern bath tissue...on the cake...
The fisrt one was the creepiest. The rest are actually not bad, especially the one with the blue checkered blanket. I actually like that one!
I've always been terrified of baby dolls, also. In fact, the only way this post could have been creepier is if you had thrown in some clowns.
@ Cathy:
You're not KIDDING.
You should add a disclaimer to that link, dear--people need to be vigorously warned about what they're getting into.
They do look like real babies...but the ones with closed eyes look real DEAD, especially the pictures with a sepia tone that makes them look like something you'd find in your great grandmother's attic. (The picture, not the "babies.")
One is a baby MONKEY, with a pacifier in its mouth. It makes me queasy to think that there probably are real people who would find "Baby Teeto" just too precious for words...
Horrific.
*waiting for racing heartbeat to calm down and panicked breathing to return to normal*
OTHER THAN THAT!!
Hey--nice DAY out, isn't it?
I need to go pump my brain out --see ya!
=^@.e^=
Hilarious post, hilarious comments. I laughed so hard milk came out of my nose. (The fact that I wasn't drinking milk at the time is disconcerting. Probably a result of making eye contact with zombie baby #1)
Tigerwolf - Watermelon Epcot FTW.
Like others I'm getting the strong funeral vibe from all these cakes.
Miranda - your comment made me laugh out loud, followed by, "Wait..." and now I'm deer-in-the-headlights for a response. Honestly, I got nothing.
My husband looked at this with me (uncommon) and said number 3 looks like it's lying in a coffin, while number 4 looks like it's roped down - so cruel!
But that first one is just. plain. creepy!
Side note: my word verification word is petypopo...weird word.
HA! Can we also add: "Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?" "Cause he puts an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it fortnightly, smart a**!" "Aha. Cuckoo!" Brilliant! Love love love 'So I married an axe murderer'...will be quoting it all day now.
It's the SECOND one that gives ME the creeps. ugh. Not even mentioning the toilet paper pillow thing. The third one? Looks like a baby on it's deathbed. double ugh. And WTF the last one looks like a baby about to go into some sort of MRI machine or something... like some weird medical baby game it's playing.
I cannot tell which is creepier: the Damien cake (#1) or the Rosemary's Baby cake (#3 - includes Taro Root!).
Obviously, both were baked at the Addams Family Bakery on Mockingbird Lane.
Jeez, I think I read too much Stephen King because these just give me the heebie-jeebies. I'm just waiting for them to rise up out of their frosting bonds and start coming for me with their nasty dolly teeth.......
Dolls don't generally creep me out, but I'm reminded of the episode of Destination Truth where they go to the Island of the Dolls. That doll's eye opened by itself! Now THAT is scary.
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com