Once in a Lifetime Wrecks
April 13, 2010 Sometimes, something so noteworthy, so unique, so rare, so sparse, so infrequent, so atypical, so uncommon, so "totally rad" happens that there are really no words to explain it.
[*And by "professional" we mean "have access to - and no fear of using - a thesaurus."]
Halley's Comet whizzes through our skies once every 76 years. Something tells me this fiery gem will still be on the shelf in time for the next sighting in 2061.
Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese hasn't been spotted since he handed little Tommy Silverstein his 3rd grade diploma at Jameson County Elementary back in 1873.
It seems obvious that the Loch Ness Monster would receive a beautifully constructed cakey fanfare after her famous reported sighting back in 1933:
However, photographers rarely catch old Nessie in what would later be described as her "Can-of-Beans Pose," in which Nessie approaches the surface with an open mouth and an old-timey telephone cord protruding from her head. Very rare, this shot. Very rare.
Lesli W., Anony M., & Brandi M., you guys are great, significant, exceptional, extraordinary, humongous, ample, notable, redoubtable, dominant, imposing, majestic, splendid, killer, hunky-dory, and swell.
- Related Wreckage: World's Worst Pictionary Players
Reader Comments (103)
(sound of knocking)
"Um, good afternoon. I'm from the ASPCF. We've had a report of a shacked wide mouth bass imprisioned in a spike collar. I'm afraid I'm going to have to inspect these premises."
(pause)
"Wot's this then! Are you trying to bribe me with cake, Madam?!"
"Well...... All right."
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WV: ( in Groucho voice) redak--"These are the most redakulous cakes I've ever seen!"
Terrell
#1 -- all for the early return of Haley's Comet. Rock on!
#2 -- gotta love those pencil-neck geeks. (but lose the foodcatcher/goattee)
#3 Huh. I thought it was an irked Oregon fisherman's interpretation of the invading Humbolt squids eating his trap lines.
WV: creworn -- expression after finding more eaten out nets
"Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese" ranks right up there as one of my favorite Jenisms, right behind "Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys" and "A mini hotdog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"
Was that thing meant to be a PENCIL? But, it's holding a pen...It looks more like a RUBBISH spongebob.
Also, that WEIRD guitar was a CCC right?
Thanx 4 the wrecks! But they would be nothing without your HILARIOUS comedy!
I see the guitar and the pencil...I have no idea how anyone could think that last thing is supposed to be a bass (and I've caught a LOT of bass, I know what one looks like! lol) I think it's an alien. LOL
I love that the guitar/comet/rather fiery stylistic man part comes with two extra cuppies. What a bargain!
I was guessing sponge bob on the second one too.
wow...those are fabulous finds. Thanks. :)
The "Can-of-Beans Pose" did me in. Hi-larious. :)
The first thing I thought when I saw the pencil cake was "Spongebob!". Lol.
you're right. I like your reality MUCH better. "Suggestively hairy cheese man" and comet! they take the cake! (if you'll pardon the pun) I thought it was a pointy naked spongebob at first.
i loved nessie too. thank you for telling us what it was SUPPOSED to be. I had no clue. except for the water.
wv: lagush: what nessie would have said as she emerged from the water--if she were french.
That third cake doesn't say "Large-Mouth Bass" to me... It says "killer mutant porta-john on a rampage"...
These are awesome.
So funny... I actually thought the "pencil" was a, as you put it, "suggestively hairy" Sponge Bob Square Pants.
OMG, when I saw the first photo I totally thought of a guitar! Does this mean that I'm totally in sync with the wreckator?! Thank God I don't like to bake/decorate a cake then... :)
Given that the "bass" cake is rectangular, I thought it was an attempt to render the "Monster Book of Monsters" from Harry Potter.
Big fan of Nessie, but honors to the Kraken for this one.
my husbands favorite t shirt say "i reject your reality and inject my own" can i reject my reality and inject yours?
d
A large mouth bass? Really I can't see it. Kinda looks like a green monster with a spike collar.
I thought the first one was, as a couple people have said previously, a flaming poo or male member. I thought the second one was some kind of French hipster Spongebob, complete with beret, cigarette, and soul patch.
Best definition of a professional writer I've ever heard.
I think the first one looks like a way-too-suntanned sting ray.
Oh a pencil! Ok...I thought it was a bad Sponge Bob!
Can't stop laughing at "Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese"
The first one could also be a longhorn steer being impaled by a bullfighter? I NEVER would have guessed Bass on the third one and I've got 2 professional artists in the house.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think the pencil cake looks embarrassed? It's like someone walked in on him in the shower.
Actually, if that first cake (ccc?) would have really been Halley's Comet, I would have been moderately impressed.
I totally thought that was a guitar too.
The first words out of my mouth for the second one were "Sponge Bob Brown Pants!"
That first one looks like a guitar that's on fire or from hell judging from the color of it. The last one looks like a big gaping hole with teeth surrounding it just waiting for the next hapless cake buyer to fall in. Ugh what are these people thinking???
So I got the first one, it looks like a guitar, with the icing gone horribly wrong...
I got a banana dipped in chocolate, but first glance I saw a cricket bat in its icing hand..
And the last one, well the colors are pretty, But I cant really get anything from it..
lol but thanks again for the daily chuckle..
I cant keep away from your site now lol..
hmmm...a guitar...is that what that is??? hmmm...I didnt see that one coming. Didnt get the pencil either. Come to think of it missed the bass too. 0 for 3 this time.
I seriously thought that the "pencil" was Sponge Bob Square Pants gone very very wrong. Must be because I was still thinking of Food Network's Challenge the other week. Only I can't see Kerry Vincent ever visiting these cakes.
Never would have figured out the fish cake.
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First time here!
I found your site through Sara's Domestically Challenged blog.
And I just loved your site!:)
Betty
Nessie's chargin her lazor...!
:[o]
Comet? Are you sure? Because to me that looks like ... a male, you know. Look, am I the only one who sees that? No, I see I am not the only one with my mind in the gutter.
Wide mouth bass? Yeah, right. It's really Cthulu isn't it?
At least the fish isn't singing..."Don't worry...be happy!"
Yeah, I think it's supposed to be a guitar.
And the next one is a pencil.
I think it's a LARGE mouthed bass. :) I never would've guessed that though...i was thinking submarine maybe, then I saw the eyeballs...
You're hilarious BTW. Your comments often make me literally laugh out loud. Thanks for a good laugh every morning!
At first glance, I thought the first one was a frog on a skewer.
the pencil looks like its holding a syrynge
A pencil?
Rosie
I can't stop staring at the last cake. All I saw at first was a poorly done Cookie Monster Slipper cake.
http://www.amazon.com/Cookie-Monster-Slippers-Infants-Toddlers/dp/B000N6MO1E
No idea when CM started working for the secret service, tho.
Thank you SOOO much for taking the scrolling banner down. You guys rock! :)
I'm with others whose sides are hurting at "Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese"....now THAT is golden. Thanks for that! I'll be smiling all day.
I think the "guitar" looks more like a deformed jelly fish.
The pencil could be a pencil, but the other one is beyond me.
Does that last cake look like a chained-up innertube with eyes to you? cuz it does to me. *shivers* That's just plain creepy.
When I saw the Halley's Comet, I thought of a flaming banjo.
I figured out the fish, mostly because it reminds me of those little magnetic fishing games I played as a kid - the ones where the fish sort of bounce and close their mouths as the game rotates. I think the phone cord is supposed to be a fishing line? Without a hook? Somehow attached to the fish's forehead?
That first one looks like someone is doing horrible things to Tasmania.
That looks like a beehive to me...
Melanie Patterson