Friday
Mar052010
Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want
March 5, 2010 Sometimes when a cake makes no sense, it's helpful to ask yourself, "What do you suppose the customer asked for?"
Insults 101: When calling a girl a dog, it's always helpful to be breed-specific.
(For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure that's not how Mrs. Hopperband spells her name.)"Look, I just want what every girl wants for her birthday: a big- a$$ cake!"
Eh. [shrugging] As I'm sure every cake-loving girl would agree: close enough. Pass the forks!Sometimes you just want a sugary baked good for no reason at all. And yet, without an inscription, what can Wreckerators wreck? That's why they're so adamant that your cake say something.
And that's also why we get Wrecks like these:
Give it a minute.- Related Wreckage: Dial-A-Wreck
Reader Comments (87)
Love the BIG ASS CAKE!!!
Jenny Dog Bassett Hound is better than Jenny b*tch, right?
The past two posts are what cake wrecks is all about...
The Big A$$ cake one is actually a play on the Big A$$ chain T-Pain wears.
Sorry to ruin the third cake but I think it's a spoof on T-Pain's BIG ASS CHAIN.
http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2009/06/picture-tpains-big-ass-chain
Which it makes it awesome.
Is there a Wreckerator school for that? Because, durr...
Morning Jen!
Was #3 supposed to be a big-a$$ cake... or a big a$$-cake?
Not that it makes it any better, but I'm pretty sure the 'big a*& cake' is a riff on a chain a prominent rapper wore, with a medallion that had ' big a#$ chain'.
Please don't make me explain how i knew that.
wv:lesec - defined as the type of eye surgery one needs to make any of these wrecks look acceptable.
Even if it wasn't what they asked for, the BigArseCake probably got some serious laughs! Love it!
I had to blow up that last one to make sure I was seeing an "H". But then I saw the book to the right. Is it just me or does it say, "Customizing Instruction...Less Proficient Readers"? I'd say that would be appropriate!
agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
Band bride? I thought it said http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/16/Tracy_and_James_just_got_married.jpg/250px-Tracy_and_James_just_got_married.jpg" rel="nofollow">Bond bride!
I am just cracking up over the 'Ho Thing Special.'
joules wonders: "What IS a 'Bond Bride'?" "Or is that 'Band Bride'?"
WV: quiving - These Wrecks are quiving me the quiggles.
I seriously want the big ass cake.
Nothing special on it. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's too much.
Yes, please. I'd like to order the big a$$-cake, very specifically not the big-a$$ cake.
Also, I'd like the Ho Thing Special.
I mean, what the hell! How many bachelor parties are you going to have, am I right?
I think that one is supposed to say "Band Pride" and Mrs. Hopper is the band director.
You know how a joke now is to move the dash in big-ass {whatever}, so it has a whole new meaning? For example, "Steve had a big-ass party last night" to "Steve had a big ass-arty last night". See?
So the big-ass cake? Could be the third cake in this post:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-diet-aid.html
I was going to link to just that image but... {shudder} couldn't. Just couldn't.
Who the he11 is T-Pain, and why do you people know this stuff?
The first cake is SO classic. Oh well, the wreckerator probably would have screwed up making an actual basset hound even more.
I'm thinking Big Ass-Cake would have been worse!
That last one had me literally laughing out loud at my desk!
That Big Ass cake is going to scare all the kiddies away...not to mention the dieting set!
Hothing?! In Cyrillic, the "n" sound is spelled with a letter that looks like H. I'm going to hope that the wreckerator was Eastern European and doesn't actually think hothing is a word.
It looks like the Big A$$ Cake is trying to rival EPCOT ;)
Either way, my big ass wants some cake now.
I might appreciate getting the BAC if not for the black parts that resemble caviar.
I now have Spice Girls stuck in my head!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
As for the "BIG @$$ CAKE" -- now that's a CAKE!!
And as for the last one, if they just had a hankering for a giant cooking with frosting balloons on it, why didn't they just request it "plain"?
Uh-oh, i think i just opened myself up to another wreck!!
I thought that it was Mrs. Hopper (blonde bride on cake)
Hmmm...
thanks for the Friday laughs...my goodness and black icing to boot!
They wanted a cake with a Bond Bride on it?? Do they even know what happened to Bond's bride at the end of that film???
("On Her Majesty's Secret Service" with Diana Rigg. Bring tissues, you might need them.)
Ho Thing Special..... sounds like some kind of Chinese take-out. :)
Well, I'm pretty sure the first cake was supposed to stop at "Jenny", then add a basset hound (i.e. dog) figure/picture/whatever.
And to answer some previous questions, I think a substantial number of people know who T-Pain is solely because of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
The Big Ass Cake is a glorious, glorious thing. It is most assuredly NOT a wreck.
You know, aside from the fail that is the words on these cakes, a lot of the time the handwriting on these things is atrocious. I could do that myself. If I were paying money for a professional cake, I'd expect the writing to be nice.
Placing order at counter:
"I would like a slice of Big A$$ Cake and a Ho Thing to go please."
LMAO at the "Big Ass Cake"! I MUST have this!
OK, I'll bite. What did the "band bride" customer ask for?
I was driving through southern Utah a while back and saw a sign for "Ho-Made Pies." Another think-it-through moment that got away.
I love the Big Ass Cake; not so much the Ho Thing Special.
I'm glad the Big @$$ cake did not feature a picture or sculpture of a big @$$!
AHAHAHAHA. For my next party, I must replicate the Big Ass Cake! When they start cutting, it will get even more interesting. Start at the top and it becomes Ass Cake. Start at the bottom and it becomes Big Ass. you can't lose! XD
The dark bits on the big-a$$ cake (or he big a$$-cake) look at little like rabbit pooh - eeuuwww!
wv anubsess: the ancient egyptian god of Wreckerators
I want some of that big ass cake! Or the Ho Thing Special cookie. Really, just give me anything sweet right now...I don't care if it's pretty.
I LOVE the BigAss Cake! Evidentally someone thought it was a wreck, but I'm sure it's just what the customer ordered.
I took the "hopperband" to mean she wanted them to write the inscription and put the picture in a "band" on the cake, like a ribbon?
It's hard to comprehend how unbelievably dense these cake writers are!!! Time and time again they can't understand when someone wants a picture ON the cake and not spelled out for them! and they do this for a living! Wow. It never ceases to amaze me!
Hahaha I'm sorry but the Big Ass Cake is total win in my eyes :D
AHAHAHAHAHA "BAC--for when you REALLY want yourself some CAKE!" XD XD XD
That just might have made my day. I may or may not sneak back here throughout the day to laugh at it again.
The rest? As usual, I got nothin'. 0_o
The Big Ass Cake is actually T-Pain's birthday cake!
http://bossip.com/161768/t-pain-celebrates-his-birthday-with-a-big-a-cake/
I'm going to go with the camp that says it's suppose to be a BLONDE bride on the cake. Which potentially makes it even more of a wreck, because it means that the either the customer or the wreckorator misspelled "blonde".